Welcome to another massive Monday The Crap We Missed that I’m just gonna jump right into with Michelle Obama, who’s apparently an awkwardly long hugger, Derek Hough butching it up for charity, Jeff Goldblum being just as surprised as all of us that those stupid hats may actually have something to do with jazz performance, Kellan Lutz thinking ‘Nope, still does nothing for me,’ and finally, it may seem like Brooke Mueller is shithoused drunk, but she’s probably just really, really high. On crack.
Later that evening, Nicole Kidman would confirm that her conditioner bottle was indeed empty, and Keith Urban would never comfortably ride a bicycle again,
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You’re over 40. You can’t pull that look off anymore. There’s a formula for that. Google it.
If Michael Jackson had lived.
Looking good, Boss Hogg!
Did anyone ever inform Nicole that the filming of The Stepford Wives ended quite a while ago?
Obama turns to his national security adviser and says “put him on the list.”
You’d cry too if Carnie Wilson walked past you in a dress that is backless down to the knees.
Suddenly, 1979 seems like a long time ago.
Suddenly? What are you like 60? Only old people would say that!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. WTF, man?
They programmed him to ride a bike? Fuck, she’s never going to get away.
This guy is so fucking weird. What woman would go near him let alone do surgery on her? I don’t even have words to describe what a fucked up human this guy is.
Looks like he’s taken one too many dips in the plastic surgery well.
Orange is a very slimming color, if you’re a traffic cone.
hahaha +1 good one man…
They’re not called “Witches Hats” in Australia for nothing……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOSZwEwl_1Q
She has the shoes of an elf but the body of an orc.
*orca
I hope the General Lee is a flatbed truck now . . .
or a forklift
Someone please help this woman dress. Every time she goes out in public, she’s a train wreck.
Someone is up for the Jeff Goldblum part in the Jurassic Park reboot.
‘The 30th Annual Quick Chek New Jersey Festival of Ballooning”, eh?
**snicker!***
Uh, next stop the ‘Mothers of the Revolution ” Gerogia Peach Pie
Bake-Off?
Rock On, Bret!
He’s so pretty!
Jay’s been wearing that same fucking shirt for so long the buttons are starting to pop off.
Not pictured: a cane and a tin cup
She just had a baby about a month ago.
That’s no excuse.
His head just keeps growing bigger and bigger under Nicole’s steady, intense gaze..
what’s with HUGGING? It ain’t fashionable unless it is your mom.
Is that a drone coming?
No Comment.
I second this.
She’s always looked like a mom with kids. Always.
n.i.g.g.a.s. of the same negative energy reject each other like two negatives of a magnet.
I imagine the acronym makes it less of a slur.
oh yeah…donnie. I forgot.
Man, it’s really not even fair to post that pic. Just let us have our memories.
No, I did NOT steal Adam Lambert’s luggage!
Wow, what an agenda he’s got! A bunch of political gaffes in London, a quick trip to Israel to promise them anything they want – should he get elected – and back in time to catch an Olympic event and do some photo-ops holding an American flag.
Go Mitt! Can’t wait to see how many fuck-ups he does in August…
Mitt was right re: London
There’s being right, and then there’s being diplomatic. I think we kinda want diplomacy in a president.
We may want to stop menacing the world with killer attack drones then; just a thought….
A very patriotic way to hide an erection.
(HUGE) … Chucky (cottage) Cheese thighs.
I have 7,000 cars but I take a limo.
Oh, if I was dating her I’d hide my face from the cameras too…
MOOOOOOOO size 4 MY ASS. Hips dont lie.
Cheer up man, you don’t look a day over dead!
You know some asshole in the crowd just shouted: “Play some Skynyrd, man!”
Those are actually specially made extra-wide-set sunglasses.
And yet, his giant pasty noggin’ just eats ‘em up!
If Santa Claus was a Black cyborg pimp.
Yea yea she’s got spanx on, but they ALL use them…even the hott ones like Jessica Alba. Tyra looks damn good…not Sports Illustrated material like in her prime, but she’s no spring chicken!
nope, more like spring cushion
“Get to the choppa!!!”
I must repeat: Are vehicles getting bigger, or are untalented fame-whores getting smaller?
Rock on Wayne!
As a thumbnail I cannot tell the difference between her and Britney.
Haha he does have a small head! Nice body though
She’s looking damn good to me these days.
That’s one of the most awkward ‘hugs I”ve ever seen.
That’s referred to as a “hover hug”.
So Kim Kardashian walks in a bar with a duck under her arm. The bartender says where did you find that pig. Kim says pig? It’s a duck. The bartender says I was talking to the duck.
Ever suspicious of kitchen counters with maids on them hiding in the bushes ready to rape him.