Welcome to another massive Monday The Crap We Missed that I’m just gonna jump right into with Michelle Obama, who’s apparently an awkwardly long hugger, Derek Hough butching it up for charity, Jeff Goldblum being just as surprised as all of us that those stupid hats may actually have something to do with jazz performance, Kellan Lutz thinking ‘Nope, still does nothing for me,’ and finally, it may seem like Brooke Mueller is shithoused drunk, but she’s probably just really, really high. On crack.
Later that evening, Nicole Kidman would confirm that her conditioner bottle was indeed empty, and Keith Urban would never comfortably ride a bicycle again,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
The Situation Normal, All Fucked Up.
I my mommy were wearing that, I’d be crying too little girl.
It looks like he’s got his ears covered so she doesn’t look straight through.
Still gorgeous.
Rebel without a Clue.
Every D-list celebrity has it’s thorn.
Yow! Nothing funny to say here!
Bad sign when titties can’t distract from your monster ass.
She looks inflatable.
Fat sow.
And I thought her husband was a hockey player or something. He looks like Buzz from Home alone, but less athletic.
Holy crap, I thought I could just ACT like I knew how to play this thing!
Oh, so he actually knows which flag to hold up. Good for him. Now if we could get him to shut up.
“Oh boy. Look at the unitard on that one . . .”
No wonder my poster fell off the wall.
You were only holding it up with one hand most of the time anyway.
This picture should be next to the word “vacuous” in the dictionary.
Make sure to pack your leather jacket and vinyl pants when you visit Maui. Sometime it can get down to something like 72 degrees at night. Idiot.
Yay, it’s working! Hang out with the fuglies, and I look hotter!
Too bad they don’t make Spanxx for the forehead.
I have something I would spank on her forehead.
Next step is to drop the “Haley.” I want to be known as Joel now.
He’s gonna lose his shit when Obama kicks his ass in November.
Keep telling yourself that until November.
Because then it will be true and he won’t have to…
“I told them I’ll be back. I can’t wait to see the fear in their eyes !”
ew…. that a huge ass pimple on this right arm
It’s great that he wore a shirt that shows it off (btw, acne on the lower neck, chest, and shoulders and upper arms are an indicator of steroid use).
The Situation is an indicator of steroid use. This is the least human he has looked yet.
“Christian” is French for “Billy Bob?”
Damn. I had to triple take. I seriously thought that was him.
Hardy har har.
Going home to continue her quest to be bigger the Catherine Bach.
How J-Lo pictures herself.
J-Lo after the tragic ass-removing accident she was in.
My favorite Cavendish.
Wow, once Roy got attacked by that tiger, Siegfried really let himself go!
There is no situation in which that hat makes sense.
For Chaz Bono, the transformation is now complete.
Black + Leather + Maui?
This guy knows “where it’s at”.
PS
I LOVE KIDS!!!
Today I’m brought to you by the letter “M”
“Don’t worry baby. You’ll always be O.C. hot to me.”
YES!!!!!
Gotta peep the Secret Service before you try to grip some ass.
“Does this look infected to you?”
Look at that guy, he can TASTE the skank in the air.
That, … that’s chaos theory
These boots are made for stumbling, and that’s just what they’ll do. One of these days these boots are gonna stumble all over you!
Spanxx working overtime.
Wow…I was GOING to make a joke about how Pam Anderson has really let herself go, but then it turned out the picture was actually of Pam Anderson!
I don’t know who he is, but I want to punch him in the balls.
What the .. Daisy Duke?!? Holy fuck.
How about a bra, Mom?
Look at me! I’m stayin’ true to my art! Not like my sell out brother! You got any spare change?
At least one is still down with NKOTB!
WAH! Mommy, that boogie man scared me!
Why is he flying somewhere? Does anyone outside of his studio want to see him?
Any adult who wears their hat like that needs a solid kick in the balls. What are you? 12?
She’s fucking beautiful.
I have to assume a relative made those pants for her. I mean, who can say no to Nana?