The Crap We Missed – Monday 7.30.12

July 30th, 2012 // 725 Comments

Welcome to another massive Monday The Crap We Missed that I’m just gonna jump right into with Michelle Obama, who’s apparently an awkwardly long hugger, Derek Hough butching it up for charity, Jeff Goldblum being just as surprised as all of us that those stupid hats may actually have something to do with jazz performance, Kellan Lutz thinking ‘Nope, still does nothing for me,’ and finally, it may seem like Brooke Mueller is shithoused drunk, but she’s probably just really, really high. On crack.

Later that evening, Nicole Kidman would confirm that her conditioner bottle was indeed empty, and Keith Urban would never comfortably ride a bicycle again,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Bret Michaels Shaved Armpits Bandana
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude Poison fucking sucks. I’m glad everybody in that band has been dead for years.

  2. Christian Audigier Nathalie Sorensen Jetski
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Billy Bob Thornton always pulls out of his league ass.

  3. Mitt Romney American Flag Ann Romney
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Ann needs more rouge.
    Mitt needs a personality transplant.

  4. Carnie Wilson Cleavage Head Wrap
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Carnie a first name or a job title? Fuck it lets go with both.

  5. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Fat Legs Tight Pants
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s the Poppin’ Fresh Dough Whore.

  6. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Keith Urban
    Commented on this photo:

    If this guy got a bad sunburn and stood on a street corner, he could back up traffic for miles.

  7. Haley Joel Osment Sunglasses Fat Face
    YAAR
    Commented on this photo:

    “Looking good!”

    ~ Nobody at all

  8. Bret Michaels Shaved Armpits Bandana
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure we can wipe out entire civilizations just by shipping that t-shirt over to them…

  9. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Keith Urban
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently she learned mind control from Tom…

  10. Dr. Robert Rey V Neck Leather Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    Good thing the pap snapped him before he flew off.

  11. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Keith Urban
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Nicole, you can stare at him all day but he’s not going to gain an inch, no matter what you do.

  12. Mitt Romney American Flag Ann Romney
    Dutch
    Commented on this photo:

    “All that gold, all that gold . . .”

  13. Mischa Barton Swimsuit Sebastian Knapp
    Commented on this photo:

    “Baby, it’s not you… It’s me… I just like non drug addicts….”

  14. Haley Joel Osment Sunglasses Fat Face
    Commented on this photo:

    When did David Caruso gain so much weight?

  15. Mitt Romney American Flag Ann Romney
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    All that money, and bitch can’t find a decent shirt?

  16. Bret Michaels Shaved Armpits Bandana
    RacistPete
    Commented on this photo:

    Brooke Hogan’s looking great.

  17. The Situation Sideways Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    If it was possible to contact retardation from a photo, this would be that photo.

  18. Bret Michaels Shaved Armpits Bandana
    Dutch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oompah!”

  19. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Fat Legs Tight Pants
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    mmmmmmoooooooooooooooooooooo

  20. Michelle Obama Hugging LeBron James
    Commented on this photo:

    Lebron, hurry up before Delonte West tries to jump this one too!

  21. Mitt Romney American Flag Ann Romney
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here disgusted that affirmative action let a black guy on the swim team

  22. Mischa Barton Swimsuit Sebastian Knapp
    RacistPete
    Commented on this photo:

    I totally thought this was another round of Stephanie Seymour and Boner Boy. Which speaks volumes about Mischa Barton.

  23. Mitt Romney American Flag Ann Romney
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Nope, I can still tell they’re robots. Try working on the human or emotional stuff and you guys might get it right.

  24. Arnold Schwarzenegger Biking Spandex Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Some men go to nightclubs.. Arnold strolls through suburban homes during the morning shift…

  25. Maggie Gyllenhaal Daughter Ramona
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a pap!

  26. Dr. Robert Rey V Neck Leather Jacket
    your mom
    Commented on this photo:

    This pic just redefined the word douche.

  27. Brooke Mueller Drunk Falling Down Jason Lowenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like it’s raining jizz on Brooke and Jason.

  28. Robin Antin Butt Booty Shorts Boots
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Those are fall/winter shoes….so I’ll assume she was laughed off the stage for her crass mistake.

  29. Haley Joel Osment Sunglasses Fat Face
    Commented on this photo:

    I see bunch, all the time, everywhere.

  30. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Fat Legs Tight Pants
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    When your ass looks fat from the front … your ass is fat.

  31. Mischa Barton Swimsuit Sebastian Knapp
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Mischa kept telling her friends she thought that it was pretty creepy when her new fiance believed in “To have and to hold, at least until high tide”.

  32. Bret Michaels Shaved Armpits Bandana
    Basement Jack
    Commented on this photo:

    He shaves his pits ?

  33. Hilary Duff Legs Short Shorts
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    She should wear this more and not wear full body black spandex

  34. Anna Sophia Berglund Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    You look good now, Anna, but someday you’ll look like Catherine Bach in Maui.

  35. Haley Joel Osment Sunglasses Fat Face
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    “My future ? I see NO people.”

  36. Dr. Robert Rey V Neck Leather Jacket
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate this guy so much

    • karlito

      i remember many years ago when this guy was a mousey little man with a bad haircut. he changed his hairstyle and then became a little bit of a celebrity because he’s a plastic surgeon to the stars. it went to his head big time and now he neglects his wife and dresses as “gay” as they get. the thing is, is that he’s madly in love with himself. he’s an annoying douce bag and should have a threesome with Kim and Kanye.

  37. Mischa Barton Swimsuit Sebastian Knapp
    sofa king
    Commented on this photo:

    “will you…let me poke your chocolate starfish?”

  38. Bret Michaels Shaved Armpits Bandana
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    It all makes sense: he’s removing the hair follicles from his armpits and having them transplanted on to the bald patch under his bandana.

  39. Mitt Romney American Flag Ann Romney
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    thinks to self: “I can tell by the feel, there’s not enough outsourced fabric in this flag.”

  40. The Situation Sideways Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    Frozen like a douche caught in the headlights

  41. Catherine Bach Swimsuit
    Animal
    Commented on this photo:

    Disappointed!!!

  42. The Situation Sideways Hat
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    The Methuation

  43. Kym Marsh Bikini
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s one soupy looking boob in that purple bikini

  44. Mitt Romney American Flag Ann Romney
    Basement Jack
    Commented on this photo:

    Antoinette Romney.

  45. Arnold Schwarzenegger Biking Spandex Shorts
    Alice Pooper
    Commented on this photo:

    starting to develop that ole’ Billy Crystal face. wat causes that? anal bleaching? someone help me out here

  46. Michelle Obama Hugging LeBron James
    sofa king
    Commented on this photo:

    he face would make it seem like he’s thinking “i’ve got the weirdest boner right now”

  47. Jay Leno
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how much denim is in that suitcase

  48. Bret Michaels Shaved Armpits Bandana
    poppymoss
    Commented on this photo:

    If only he could get bandannas on his balding armpits, too…

  49. Molly Sims Bra Cleavage
    jim
    Commented on this photo:

    you sure this isn’t hillary duff?

  50. Molly Sims Bra Cleavage
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Nobody wants to see your sweaty boob rash.

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