The Crap We Missed – Monday 7.21.14

July 21st, 2014 // 439 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, fresh off my brief stint in County, because apparently in Obama’s America, masturbating in the post office is frowned upon relaxing three-day hiatus, so I’ve the usual overstuffed sausage of celebrity nonsense for you. We’ve got Paris Hilton with a child who would have been better off in the care of Susan Smith, the best picture of Whoopi Goldberg you’ll ever see provided it actually results in the murder/suicide for which it was intended, and exactly what every single moment of Alec & Hilaria Baldwin‘s marriage looks like when she isn’t bending herself into a sex pretzel.

Hey, Stamos, what did you think of that Lindsay Lohan gallery earlier? S’what I thought,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Leonardo DiCaprio Shirtless Fat Gut Scruffy Beard
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    Gandolfini or Brando, which way to go… Leo?

  2. Boris Johnson Drunk Laughing Healthier School Eating Promotion
    Commented on this photo:

    No amount of inbreeding could keep Ian from his eggs. His precious, precious eggs. Many adult diapers would carry the burden of his excitement on this glorious day.

  3. Alec Baldwin, Hilaria Baldwin Angrily Glaring At Each Other Clever Little Lies Opening Night
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    ”Who did you just call ”’GRANDPA” little girl?’

  4. Jared Leto Ridiculous Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    Duane fucking Allman on a cracker.

  5. Earvin Johnson III Short Shorts 1 Oak Nightclub
    jbone
    Commented on this photo:

    big momma’s house reboot

  6. Katy Perry Cleavage See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Visualize Whirled Peas

  7. Earvin Johnson III Short Shorts 1 Oak Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    And still more attractive than any of the Willis girls.

  8. Lady Gaga Butt Crotch Clutched By Dancer MGM Grand Hotel And Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Kessha that You?

  9. Leonardo DiCaprio Shirtless Fat Gut Scruffy Beard
    culito culito
    Commented on this photo:

    :( Ew what happened :(
    Son I am Disappoint.

  10. Jada Pinkett Smith Legs Abs Cutout Dress TCA Tour Press Conference
    Commented on this photo:

    I here she is the Joker in the New Show Gotham

  11. Katy Perry Cleavage See Through Dress
    culito culito
    Commented on this photo:

    :( Ew what happened :(
    Son I am Disappoint.

  12. Steven Seagal Red Glasses Panama Hat Mystery Woman Sage Gateshead
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’d he get that sexy jacket I need one for my husband.

  13. Reese Witherspoon Butt Tight White Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Kessha, is that You?

  14. Megan Fox Skinny Post Weight Loss Legs Minidress Nickelodeon Kids Choice Sports Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    damn this bitch looks hot, how did BAG end up with her?

  15. Drake Bodyguard In Batman T Shirt Hooray Henry's
    BlackManUSAonTwitter
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah Drake… I’ma toss the shit out of your sal-OH SHIT PAPPAZZI!!!”

  16. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pants Suit Post Baby Weight CBS Summer TCA Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    It all went downhill after Party of Five.

  17. Peter Dinklage Sunglasses On Nose Pushing Stroller
    Commented on this photo:

    I find him so damn hot, i would totally fuck him

  18. Leonardo DiCaprio Shirtless Fat Gut Scruffy Beard
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    I keep telling my girlfriend that people say I look just like Leonardo Dicaprio and every single time she just rolls her eyes and says maybe you used to look like him when you were 18 or 19 but that 12 years ago.

    I’m just kidding I don’t have a girlfriend.

  19. Alec Baldwin, Hilaria Baldwin Angrily Glaring At Each Other Clever Little Lies Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    She is *so* about to get backhanded.

  20. LeAnn Rimes Eddie Cibrian Miami Fashion Week Front Row
    Commented on this photo:

    The shapeshifter had taken the form of Ryan Seacrest in an attempt to blend in. It did not realize that the PDA with the blonde would be the only clue the authorities would need.

  21. Kate Hudson Legs Heels Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    I love those shoes! she looks hot

  22. Earvin Johnson III Short Shorts 1 Oak Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    I rarely say this but… WHO?

  23. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pants Suit Post Baby Weight CBS Summer TCA Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly she’s there to collect an award. TCA means Titanic Couch Ass right?

  24. Rita Ora Cleavage Leather Jumpsuit Black Widow Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Only time I’ve ever seen her look good.

  25. Leonardo DiCaprio Shirtless Fat Gut Scruffy Beard
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    If Jack Dawson was this size, then I could understand the two of them not fitting on that board.

  26. Reese Witherspoon Butt Tight White Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Do you know who I am?!”

  27. Katy Perry Cleavage See Through Dress
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Is the Green Goober hoping to get recruited by the Avengers?

  28. Luke Wilson Double Chins Scruffy Looking
    BlackManUSAonTwitter
    Commented on this photo:

    “And you guys thought I was the classy one…”

  29. Paris Hilton Holding Baby LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Everything about this photo is just … ew.

  30. Kelly Brook Cleavage Swimsuit Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    This is some weird Kelly/Katie Holmes hybrid I’ve never seen before.

  31. Paris Hilton Holding Baby LAX
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes asking for a newbie into water sports turns out a little different than expected. But she still looks game.

  32. Jared Leto Ridiculous Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    What happens when you dip the same stick in varying colours of fuck.

  33. John Stamos Licking Lips GMA
    BlackManUSAonTwitter
    Commented on this photo:

    “Have mercy!! You’re looking sexy Robin Roberts. Maybe Cancer
    didn’t lick you, but I will.”

  34. Paul Haggis Virginie Marsan Ischia Global Film And Music Fest
    BlackManUSAonTwitter
    Commented on this photo:

    “Later I’m going to Crash…into her vagina!!”

  35. Irina Shayk Cleavage Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I would have sex with her.

  36. Earvin Johnson III Short Shorts 1 Oak Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    You keep it real, Earvin. You keep it real.

  37. Brooke Shields Open Mouth Screaming 3rd Annual St Barth Hamptons Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    That there …. that’s a botox forehead.

  38. Jason Derulo Shirtless Backup Dancers Bending Over Hard Rock Hotel And Casino Rehab
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d say they must be proud, but sadly, they probably are.

  39. Taryn Manning High Cleavage Palms Pool And Dayclub Guest DJ Performance
    BlackManUSAonTwitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Enough Jared Leto. You won the award. Get out of character…

  40. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pants Suit Post Baby Weight CBS Summer TCA Tour
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody tell NBC that we do not need a reboot “I Dream of Jeannie” on during Prime Time.

  41. Aubrey ODay Veiny Cleavage Liquid Pool Lounge Aria Resort and Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks almost like Jenna Jameson back in the day.

  42. Rita Ora Cleavage Leather Jumpsuit Black Widow Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Rihanna bleached both her hair AND skin now?

  43. Earvin Johnson III Short Shorts 1 Oak Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    Am I the only one who loves shim?

  44. Jason Derulo Shirtless Backup Dancers Bending Over Hard Rock Hotel And Casino Rehab
    Commented on this photo:

    Are Jason Derulo, Chris Brown, and Drake the same person?

  45. Iggy Azalea Huge Ass Leather Jumpsuit Black Widow Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Think she uses the same ass-fat doctor as Kim?

  46. Jada Pinkett Smith Legs Abs Cutout Dress TCA Tour Press Conference
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Reason #20,698 why After Earth sucked so bad: Jada was the inspiration for the monsters.

  47. Boris Johnson Drunk Laughing Healthier School Eating Promotion
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Now tell me that utensil isn’t a perfect jigsaw-puzzle-piece-fit for those teeth.

  48. Taryn Manning High Cleavage Palms Pool And Dayclub Guest DJ Performance
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks more manly than Eli or Peyton.

  49. Paris Hilton Holding Baby LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    The famous psychologist Piaget’s second phase of child development: VD, blueballs, and a case of the crabs..

  50. Luke Wilson Double Chins Scruffy Looking
    Commented on this photo:

    Errr mahhh Gerrdd

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