The Crap We Missed – Monday 7.15.13

July 15th, 2013 // 357 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, our daily feature of celebrity schadenfreude where I also sometimes clumsily take a stab a relevant cultural events. This weekend saw the end of a high-profile murder trial that’s resulted in a new discussion about race relations in Ameri- OW! *grabs shock collar* Okay, alright, here’s Jay-Z‘s custom made fart-scented mic, the Hugh Jackman photoshop fantasy photo, and you know what? I don’t care, this needs to be said. It’s now become crystal clear to anyone with a brain that black people are still forced to follow a completely different set of social cues than white peo- AHH! OW, FUCK!! *opens Internet Constitution, flips to Article Four: Section Two – Bloggers shall not transpose the discussion of politics, race, or religion with the images of lesbians making blowjob faces or Gwen Stefani‘s hot ass in hotass leather hot pants*

Fine, point taken, you guys wi–WHY DID HE GET OUT OF THE CAR? YOU CAN’T SILENCE ME! (I look forward to your unbridled hate in the comments below),

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Pale Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes! Yes! Take this prescription to my friend McGonagal and have her bring me my special powder..

  2. Jay-Z Yahoo Wireless Festival
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    No wonder Yahoo!’s stock is down.

  3. Jay-Z Yahoo Wireless Festival
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who wants a microphone balloon animal?”

  4. Samuel L Jackson Wife LaTanya Richardson
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The only 2 black people in Italy happen to have a cop walking directly behind them?

    I’m sure it’s a coincidence.

  5. Mario Lopez North America Hairstyling Award
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This isn’t even the gayest Award he’s won this week.

  6. Anthony Weiner Laughing Hysterically
    Commented on this photo:

    Screech for Mayor!

  7. Jose Canseco Girlfriend Leila Knight Bikini Alex Thomas Celebrity Golf Tournament Pool Party
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if there is a support group just for women how date Canseco or Tom Sizemore. The things they have seen.

  8. Nikolaj Coster Waldau Neckbrace The Other Woman Set
    Commented on this photo:

    From the thumb, I thought it was another Paul Giamatti/Rhino pic.

  9. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Did they tap feet between the stalls first?

  10. Mario Lopez North America Hairstyling Award
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    So someone else styles his hair and Mario wins the award?

  11. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Pale Skin
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr. Furlong… please sign right here.

  12. William Fichtner Capri Pants Pissed Off Look On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, even Ashley Judd is laughing at you.

  13. Jay-Z Yahoo Wireless Festival
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Bill Cosby start wearing big gold chains?

  14. Kelly Monaco Cheryl Burke Grabbing Shanna Moakler Breasts Bikini Nipple Slip
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    At least they got the “see no evil” part right.

  15. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Pale Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    I know it’s a trick of perspective and the camera, but he looks like he has yaoi hands.

  16. Pamela Anderson Haggard Face Obliphica Booth Cosmoprof Convention
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I know how the dress feels.

  17. John Cusack Scooter Headband All Black Outfit
    Commented on this photo:

    Getting into character for the Pacino biopic.

  18. Samuel L Jackson Wife LaTanya Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m so glad Weezy remarried!

  19. Gwen Stefani Butt Leather Pants
    The Kilted Yaksman
    Commented on this photo:

    GS needs a new look. She’s 43, for fucks sake.

  20. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are you actually trying to maul me? That’s so cute!”

  21. Constance Marie Legs Butt Short Shorts Crouching Down With Child Mickey Through The Years Collection Launch
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    “Smile dammit! This is a paying gig.”

  22. Shaun White Short Hair Skinny Jeans Tassle Belt Huge Gold Chain
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    That should put those gay rumors to rest.

  23. Gwen Stefani Butt Leather Pants
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet all the moms in her PTA want to kill her. Then steal Gavin away.
    Wait, no..that’s just me. *sigh*

  24. Samuel L Jackson Wife LaTanya Richardson
    Jacquestrap
    Commented on this photo:

    The transformation to Morgan Freeman is nearly complete.

  25. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Now turn around, bend over, and call me Bill Clinton ..boy.

  26. Mariah Carey Cleavage Bruised Shoulder Glittery Sling
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    My new boyfriend’s name is Darvocet, I love him!

  27. Nick Cannon Me Sexy Shirt Universal CityWalk Outdoor Concert Series
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    My wife’s so high she can’t remember my name. Woohoo! Everybody dance now!!

  28. John Cusack Scooter Headband All Black Outfit
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Douchcycle.

  29. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the “before” shot – or the “after” ??

  30. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Pale Skin
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Scourgify dentatum!

  31. William Fichtner Capri Pants Pissed Off Look On Face
    Commented on this photo:

    For a moment there, I thought it was Huge Laurie.

  32. Anthony Weiner Laughing Hysterically
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ha ha ha! Ha ha! What do you mean, ask my driver who ‘she’ follows on Twitter?”

  33. Nikolaj Coster Waldau Neckbrace The Other Woman Set
    Commented on this photo:

    A little Improv during a break in filming – here Nikolaj portrays “Travolta paralyzed from the next down”

  34. Mario Lopez North America Hairstyling Award
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    All that and he does hair too? Fabulous!!!
    *snicker*

  35. Jane Lynch Blowjob Face Annie Broadway Final Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Lonliness can take over the ederly , she is practising for all the options….

  36. Jay-Z Yahoo Wireless Festival
    Fishballs
    Commented on this photo:

    Michael Winslow’s comeback failed miserably when he realized it was no longer the 1980s and virtually everyone had forgotten about the Police Academy films.

  37. Shaun White Short Hair Skinny Jeans Tassle Belt Huge Gold Chain
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s an angry elf.

  38. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez, at least wash your hands first…

  39. Shaun White Short Hair Skinny Jeans Tassle Belt Huge Gold Chain
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    We are going from baggy pants that sag to the knees to pants so tight you can count change in the pocket.

  40. Samuel L Jackson Wife LaTanya Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    I always imagined Sam’s wife would be wearing a Kangol cap.
    Backwards.

  41. Daniel Radcliffe Dark Circles Under Eyes Pale Skin
    Fishballs
    Commented on this photo:

    Daniel Radcliffe handily passes Macaulay Culkin in this week’s celebrity death poll.

  42. John Cusack Scooter Headband All Black Outfit
    Commented on this photo:

    Flaunting the helmet law? Ask Gary Busey about that one.. if he remembers…

  43. Mario Lopez North America Hairstyling Award
    Commented on this photo:

    Next up: a hopeful top three finish in the Skinny Tie competition.

  44. English Teacher Anni

    Fish!!!

    Thanks for letting us know in this post that you listen to us when we comment on your other posts. I’m cracking up. Thanks for responding to my comment on the Zimmerman / Glee Actor Obituary post. We would never electrocute you….where else can we get our social commentary bookended by tits and ass?

    Still shoving you violently towards Martin / Zimmerman / Florida,
    anni

  45. Kelly Monaco Cheryl Burke Grabbing Shanna Moakler Breasts Bikini Nipple Slip
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess which one had three kids.

  46. Prince William Charity Polo Match
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Gangnam style!

  47. Hugh Jackman The Wolverine Press Conference
    Tricky Fish
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously! I got my fist all the way up to here inside Travolta!

  48. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    Tricky Fish
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess they were out of mop buckets…

  49. Kelly Monaco Cheryl Burke Grabbing Shanna Moakler Breasts Bikini Nipple Slip
    Commented on this photo:

    Girl on left has an impressive beard.

  50. Justin Bieber Shirtless Playing With Old Guys Hair Instagram
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    That DOES NOT count as community service, asshole.

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