The Crap We Missed – Monday 7.14.14

July 14th, 2014 // 577 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed in which a momentous occasion — 844 days in the making — has taken place. Prince Charles shat in another jet and if you’re trying to picture the joy this brought me, just forget it. There aren’t enough baby pools or Jell-O or matching Speedos for Fish and I to wear in the world that could ever bring me to this level of ecstasy. I mean sure, I also found clear before and after evidence that Gerard Butler got butt-sexed around a plastic shitter, and I also got Kayte Walsh desperately trying to use the new texting feature for 911. Do you think any of that matters to me?

*stands outside Buckingham Palace, holds stereo over head*

- Photo Boy

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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Nicole Scherzinger Butt Bending Over Chair Onstage GAY Nightclub
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    After her show, it became known as the Formerly G-A-Y nightclub

  2. Kelsey Grammer Face Mauling Pregnant Kayte Walsh Looking At Cell Phone
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    kelsey grammer is just as gross as hugh hefner, and equally pathetic, they should look at themselves and question where those women find love and/or sexual attraction to them
    they’re just super GROSS stupid old men
    and the women their own age who got away from them can thank their lucky star they don’t have to serve these disgusting old men, there is nothing MATURE about anything in those guys relationships to women, only I BOUGHT YOU I HAVE MONEY NOW PRETEND YOU LOVE ME FOR THE CAMERAS, whores are all they get, fame and money whores

  3. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like someone dared him to look as close to an Anime character as possible

  4. Natalie Portman Middle Finger Yoga Pants
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    shia labeouf used to say this is his dream woman,
    i think he has a shot now, seeing as she dresses as sloppy as him and pulls lame gestures like him, i bet she wishes whe was married to labeouf instead of whatwhoguy, at least she’d get tons of REAL publicity, and maybe a job or two..

  5. Jeff Goldblum Girlfriend Emilie Livingston Bikini Playing Football
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the greatest players of all time to have play the Game, relaxing with his 31-years-old/former gymnast girlfriend…

    Makes Clooney look like a goddamn quitter.

  6. Ryan Seacrest Girlfriend Shayna Taylor
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    who is that gay guy pretending to chase a girl?

  7. Nicole Scherzinger Butt Bending Over Chair Onstage GAY Nightclub
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    she who never was

  8. Howie Mandel Shirtless Paddleboarding
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    he just remembered fish crap in the seas and oceans

  9. Howie Mandel Shirtless Paddleboarding
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    ..and how big is a whale doo-doo?

  10. Taylor Swift Gunt Mom Pants Tube Top
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “You better shape up, ’cause I need a man
    And my heart is set on you
    You better shape up, you better understand
    To my heart I must be true”

  11. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like a sex doll abused since age five with a brain that has never formed a single independent thought, i think she might be right where she is supposed to be in life
    though why such people exist i will never know
    because gross old men manufacture them?

  12. Mel Gibson Running
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Anti-Semitic Flash, away!”

  13. Crystal Hefner Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    RZ
    Commented on this photo:

    Blonde Kim Kardashian–right down to the collagen injected cupie doll lips.

  14. Wendy Williams Cleavage Bikini Belly Tattoos Worlds Largest Bachelorette Party TAO Beach
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    snookie?

  15. Wendy Williams Cleavage Bikini Belly Tattoos Worlds Largest Bachelorette Party TAO Beach
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    mariah carey?

  16. Jeff Goldblum Girlfriend Emilie Livingston Bikini Playing Football
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now remember our deal; after dinner, I get to be the receiver.”

  17. Rafael van der Vaart Sabia Bouhlarouz Wrinkly Stomach Cleavage Bikini
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    some skilled photoshopping would put her hand on his ass squeezing the life out of it :D

  18. Jeff Goldblum Girlfriend Emilie Livingston Bikini Playing Football
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    more gross old men with their young ho’s

  19. Jeff Goldblum Girlfriend Emilie Livingston Bikini Playing Football
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    oh my god the potential photoshopping of this picture, a kid could do it :D

  20. Larry King Grimacing
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
    I’m a woman’s man: no time to talk.
    Music too loud and women warm, I’ve been kicked around
    Since I was born….however long ago that was.”

  21. Tori Spelling Chest Hole Of Death
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    funny she never thought of getting an implant where it is needed, some rib filling in the middle!

  22. Meredith Vieira NBC Universal Summer TCA Tour
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ms. Vieira, what do you think NBC’s chances are of becoming the #1 network again next season?”

  23. Harry Derbridge Fake Tan Dyed Blond Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Genderquiz.

  24. Christina Aguilera Huge Pregnant Belly Son Max
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    wow, she is not relevant anymore, went this long without media paying attention to her being pregnant, i had no idea, dont even know who she is with, married again?

  25. Larry King Grimacing
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    oh no, an old man without a 22 year old wife by his side who loves him soooo much

  26. Kelly Brook Butt Yoga Pants David McIntosh Juice Bar
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Two chili dogs, two fries with extra ketchup and two large Cokes. David, what are you having?”

  27. Meredith Vieira NBC Universal Summer TCA Tour
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    so, larry king asked her out for a date.
    under 30 dude, under 30, or that’s the reaction.

  28. Meredith Vieira NBC Universal Summer TCA Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    California Chrome is doing well.

  29. Dennis Miller Derpface Hugging Dana Carvey Seminole Hard Rock Hotel And Casino
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    ah always lovely to see two straight men super scared of looking gay when pretending some gayness

  30. Eva Longoria Butt Tight White Shorts
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    her back must hurt from all that posturing

  31. Emily Ratajkowski Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Her body is fucking glorious. Perfection. Plain and simple.

  32. Donald Sterling Huge Fat Gut
    Commented on this photo:

    He was great in Battlestar Galactica, as Commander William Adama.

  33. Mila Kunis Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    How soon until she gives birth to Prince Douche?

  34. Emily Ratajkowski Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    .......
    Commented on this photo:

    im a girl and even I know those are some awesome boobs. wow

  35. Joanna Krupa Topless Sideboob Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not the ball I want her to sit on.

  36. Gwyneth Paltrow Butt Short Shorts Scooter
    Commented on this photo:

    Why did this pretentious asshole have to be so attractive.

  37. Rihanna Nipples Leather Bra Lifting Up Shirt World Cup Final
    Commented on this photo:

    Compared to the women of Brazil, she might as well be a 12 year old boy. She’s got nothing compared to them.

  38. Natalie Portman Middle Finger Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    “Natalie. How do you feel about being upstaged by Kat Dennings in the Thor movies.”

  39. Ryan Seacrest Girlfriend Shayna Taylor
    Commented on this photo:

    “Shana Taylor” is a weird name for Monacan man. The blonde walking in front of them is pretty hot.

  40. Nicole Scherzinger Butt Bending Over Chair Onstage GAY Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that’s a performance I want to see from her.

  41. Howie Mandel Shirtless Paddleboarding
    Commented on this photo:

    Powder goes surfing.

  42. Rafael van der Vaart Sabia Bouhlarouz Wrinkly Stomach Cleavage Bikini
    Lou Braccant
    Commented on this photo:

    The funny thing is, her last name is exactly the sound he makes when he comes on her tits!

  43. Taylor Swift Gunt Mom Pants Tube Top
    Commented on this photo:

    “Here we see the banshee in its natural habitat. In the hopes of attracting a mate she lets out her mating call.”

  44. Wendy Williams Cleavage Bikini Belly Tattoos Worlds Largest Bachelorette Party TAO Beach
    Commented on this photo:

    You could never convince me that this isn’t a man.

  45. Mario Balotelli Fanny Neguesha Butt Wetsuit Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Her parents chose her name well.

  46. Jeff Goldblum Girlfriend Emilie Livingston Bikini Playing Football
    Commented on this photo:

    I fucking love Jeff Goldblum.

  47. Christina Aguilera Huge Pregnant Belly Son Max
    Commented on this photo:

    “Max, take this 3DS and go to your room. Your Mom and I are going to be doing grown up stuff for the next few hours.”

  48. Mel B Butt Bikini Man Screming At Her
    Commented on this photo:

    George W Bush just found out why they call her Scary Spice.

  49. Dennis Miller Derpface Hugging Dana Carvey Seminole Hard Rock Hotel And Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck happened to Dennis Miller?

  50. Coco Butt Spandex Pants Sir Mix A Lot Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m convinced Sir Mix-a-Lot made that song specifically for Coco.

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