Apparently, “taking a step back” from your marriage means posting more bikini photos on Twitter so guys want to do you. I’m on board.
Welcome to The Crap We Missed: The part of the day where we sift through the ungodly amounts of photos at our disposal and then hurl the best ones in your face like some sort of Internet Rip Taylor. No homo. — Okay, a little. Today, we’ve got Jessica Simpson taking a tour of Yale and wondering when they get to play Quidditch like that college Harry Potter goes to, Chyna returning to her (he/she porn) roots, Black Heff‘s sheer existence canceling out Tila Tequila and the most unbelievable Kirstie Alley photo you’ll ever see in your life. I guess Scientologists really do know magic.
We’re all dead.
- The Superficial
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Fame, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
If this pic doesn’t get Carmen Sandiego out of hiding, I don’t know what will…
“That’s where I inject the testosterone”
Bimbo and the Butch
Damn! So sad Gene Simmons is down on his luck!
Sexy
Michael Kors is gonna kill someone when he sees this photo LOL
Ok, I give up. How many blocks is he standing on?
So THAT’S what Kelly Rippa’s navel hatched into.
A little too Cocoish.
You know, most people would just wear a jock or cup to keep their balls contained…
She’s still doing shit? Jesus woman you have fifteen fucking kids. How about you try taking care of one?
The guy pushing the cart seriously tells people back home that he “works in show business”.
HA!
Hey Fish (and you other biased douchebags)…You know what you missed???
WEINER WIFE SILENT…
‘To the best of my knowledge they were all adults’…
WHACKED, NOT HACKED!
TWITTER TEARS: WEINER ADMITS
Congressman used Jewish stereotype while sexting…
‘Never had sex outside my marriage’…
WEINERGATE: New pics hit the ‘net…
WILL HOLD 4 P.M. PRESS CONFERENCE…
Woman claims to have 200 explicit messages from NY DUMBocrat…
Yea, your boy Anthony Weiner and his trysts, his stereotyping Jewish women, his abuse of power, his phone calls/computer connections that were taxpayer funded, his BOLD FACED lie to the camera and making up of story then recanting etc.
Yea, thats the crap YOU missed.
You need mental help.
I will bet dollars to donuts that you are on a Watch List.
I must have missed all those posts where Fish defended Anthony Weiner or otherwise spoke well of him politically prior to this whole imbroglio. According to Google, the only reference to Weiner on The Superficial was the passing comment Fish made about the photos last week.
I also must have missed Fish’s posts on the Congressman who posed shirtless on Craigslist, the Congressman who sexually harassed his staff, the Senator who slept with his aide’s wife and then paid them hush money, or the Governor who flew to South America to see his mistress.
The only political sex scandals I’ve seen here have been those of (Republican)
Arnold Schwarzenegger—because he’s a movie star, not because he’s a former governor—and (Democrat) Eliot Spitzer, because… I don’t remember exactly. Something about his hooker being online or in a Girls Gone Wild video or something.
So quit whining about double standards that don’t exist.
I know I’m a little late here…but there is a steady stream of leftist dogma at this site…you’re not paying attention. He can barely go two days without comparing something to Palin’s downey baby or whatever the hell.
I’m gonna just be honest about it and call her a bitch with fake tits because I’m jealous and would kill to be in her place.
Wow,honesty following stupidity is not becoming…she just had a baby, those aren’t fake tits, there temporary tits!
If you are a girl and you are jealous of another girl, you put down everything about her-fake tits,hair weave, lyposuction,etc. Even if you know all those things are hers you act that way because of the jealously.
I hear next she’s going on tour as the lead singer in Warrant.
I heard shes doing a tour as the lead cashier at Walmart
If she’s looking for another washed up child star, I hear Macaulay Culkin is single.
Custom built for titty f***ing!!!
Good blow job material
Cant stand this attention starved scab on society.
A woman who looks like a cat is flipping the bird. There’s gotta be a Sylvester and Tweety joke in here somewhere.
Lick it.
LICK IT.
What a fucking pig this hag is – not a single redeeming REAL quality about her.
Pocket pool and an unexpectedly jagged fingernail.
…Men should take this here as a learning experience, in reference to marrying half-dykes.
Your half-dyke wife will aways have a suppressed longing for fish, you can’t possibly fry…..Artofwar
That is the best reason I have heard to Marry a Half-Dykes.
As long as I can watch. And then play with my Wife :-)’
…Yea, and once the excitement of watching your wife getting muffed dived grows old— you will find yourself bored, and half dykeless, because the other full-dyke stole your half-dyke wife.
Once you’ve seen 20 or 40 females dyking it out, it seems to lose its dyke appeal, or at least it has for me….Artofwar
Hickory dickory dock, he now sucks dick for rock.
The smaller one could actually fit into the Wookie’s purse.
Where did the hide the penis?
She’s putting them out there for us on a Silver Platter, because apparently she thinks that it is ♫ “Time to change…” ♫
Jebus! He needs a fucking sham wow to sop up the grease he was apparently dunked in. I bet he smells like coconuts and asshole. However, he should probably get rid of his old vowels and renew those motherfuckers.
OMFG, I just pulled a muscle laughing at that. +1 interwebs.
Coconuts and asshole, lol. Thats going to stay with me for a while.
Neither of them could ever spell YALE on their own, maybe not even if we spot them a letter or two.
What the fuck is that?!?!
Seriously!
What the fuck IS that?
This elephant is extremely mal-nourished. Please alert PETA.
This is Lohan if she ate right, worked out and actually had a job.
She going for the Marg Helgenberger look?
U mean 55 yrs old german tranny?
Not pictured: The villagers and their torches.
don’t forget the pitchforks.
Rex Kwaen Do.
“Do you think I got where I am by dressing like Peter Pan here?”
“Well that was a rip off…”
AAAAA, I’m sick of seeing Justin Timberlake’s stupid boyband face everytime I go to a new page!
What could have been …
David Hasselhoff unveils the new line of Baywatch Tampons.
“sniff sniff, smells like Pam Anderson”
His cup almost looks like it says “Jack Off”, which would be a better fitting description.
I see Anonymous has a new target.
It’s not enough that it’s got a face like a feline, now someone went and left it outside and the snails crawled all over it.
When the pic first pulled up, I thought they got the wrong side of her.
Then I scrolled down and realized how wrong I was.
“You’re not going to trick me with fake manhole prank again.”
Curses!
The magic of dancing as exercise. And Spanx. And liposuction.
Heeeeereee kitty kitty kitty.
No matter how far he falls, he will NOT give up the Elvis Blue Blockers.
I never thought I’d see Jessica Alba looking fatter than Jessica Simpson…
Yeah crazy what a little thing like being heavily pregnant will do to a body.
See what I did there?
No? Figures.
Isn’t that the “Child Catcher” from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? He’s aging well.
“Tragedy struck at the “Dance With Me Studios Presents: All The Right Moves Summer Invitational in New York City when three people were killed and 42 were seriously injured in a freak accident involving a Kirstie Alley wardrobe malfunction. Story at 11:00.”
Mr. Dice Clay went out one day
And sat himself down on the block.
He thought with a shock:
“I could suck dick for rock!
But that would make me look totally gay.”
So he put his phone to his ear,
And said with a sneer:
“I’m fuckin’ dyin’ here”.
His agent responded:
“Don’t be so despondent!
Go fucking kill yourself!”