Apparently, “taking a step back” from your marriage means posting more bikini photos on Twitter so guys want to do you. I’m on board.
Welcome to The Crap We Missed: The part of the day where we sift through the ungodly amounts of photos at our disposal and then hurl the best ones in your face like some sort of Internet Rip Taylor. No homo. — Okay, a little. Today, we’ve got Jessica Simpson taking a tour of Yale and wondering when they get to play Quidditch like that college Harry Potter goes to, Chyna returning to her (he/she porn) roots, Black Heff‘s sheer existence canceling out Tila Tequila and the most unbelievable Kirstie Alley photo you’ll ever see in your life. I guess Scientologists really do know magic.
We’re all dead.
- The Superficial
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Photo: Fame, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
That dress hides a multitude of sins.
SNOO SNOO
+1
+100!!!!!! death by snoo snoo
Always an Asian man in the the background, squinting it all with his eyes.
This is why Rich people are usually better looking. It’s amazing how MUCH better she looks now that she has some change in her pocket.
After being kicked out of their 12th hotel, Jenny and Snooki seek other options.
Bertha and Betty of the Butt Sisters.
nice jowls
I wonder how long before she gives up on this whole older man thing she has going on?
I wonder how long before she gives up on this whole gay man thing she has going on?
i’ll get you my pretty… and your little dog too
Somewhere, there are eight motherless kids being watched by strangers.
Biggie Biggie Biggie, can’t you see, somehow your words just hypnotize me…
The joke ‘ll be on the two Jessicas when they discover Yale’s not a community college.
She still appears in public? I thought she had been locked away in a dungeon or something.
I think it’s pretty cool how they used the leftover skin from her tummy tuck to make that designer handbag. Open the car’s trunk and you’ll find matching luggage.
Ladies and Gentlemen…. the HOFSICLE!
That guy is smart. He didn’t even bothers with celebrities parties, magazine publisher, plus what ever took years for Hugh to accomplished. Homeboy, said fuck I am the black Heff I don;t have to work for anything. So what, im another of the millions wanna pimp leaving in grandmama’s basement and driving a nice pre owned BMW. Haters.
Time to change the battery on your Stepford date, Seacrest.
I wish I had a nickel for every time Eddy Murphy has sucked this guy’s toes…
Ha!
at the back of the head, the ears are touching under that wig. dude’s fucked.
Her claim to fame is getting banged by Kid Rock. I dont know if her leg has been knocked around backwards or what.
I like how he’s pretending to own a cell phone by holding a cigarette pack to his ear. Yes indeedy, ADC has still got it!
Black Heff is SO black, when he gets in the limo the oil light goes on. BAM.
He’s so blaaaack, he’s so impossibly black !
and so greasy he’d stand out at a wax museum
I like the Sophie Turner from Game Of Thrones better.
not me?
I knew it.
There was a sale on skin transplant that day. Tara Rein got some on her stomach.
How much herpes medication and candy bars are in your purse that you need to take luggage everywhere you go?
close your mouth honey, you look like a trout.
Looks like she missed a spot shaving… on the back of her arm. Gooly-goo-goo!
She has a Great Ass. Best looking Lawyer I have ever seen.
Not too shabby.
I give up, is this Gunnar or Matthew Nelson?
Looks more like Ice T with a beard than T.
We’re going to need a tiny hamburger!
Khloe reminds me of Matilda the Hun, a GLOW wrestler from the 1980s. Watch this and let me know what you think. The resemblance is incredible.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9z3jq_tammy-jones-vs-matilda-the-hun-crow_sport
I can’t remember when I’ve seen so much violence and destruction, such wanton cruelty and mayhem, the bloodlust, the carnage…Oh, the humanity!…
you’re talking about this picture, right…
Hey, where are the “you loser’s only wished you could hit that” posts from the fat chicks? There should have been at least one by now.
I hate you, fame.
Glad to see her boobs arent nearly as deformed as they once were.
Jack Black doing a spot-on impression of my dog.
It must be Lt. Saavik’s 7th year.
I always told Paltrow to stop buying the cheap shit off of Charlie’s dealer, but Noooooooooo, someone wanted “to save money!!”
“WaitaminUTE! You’re sayin’ I’m not an Italian? A, a fucking Jew, are YOU KIDDIN’ ME?!”
(In a plastic surgeon’s office in the San Fernando Valley)
“Can you give me lips that say, ‘DUHHH’?”
No ret faht in taxi, Mistah Brack!
Damn it. Even while making a goofy face, he’s still way hotter than I am.
Dis-a where I got da ouchy pitcha!
LOL!!!
I hope God would just go ahead and kill me instead of allowing me to walk around with a face that looks like I was attacked by a troop of chimps.
Now that’s she’s single, why doesnt she just start posting pics of herself getting fucked by random dudes, like that guy’s wife in”Boogie Nights”?
That fucking drivewall scene was hysterical.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“What’s it look like they’re doing?”
“That’s my wife.”
“Shut up Bill, you’re embarassing me.”
“My wife’s in the driveway with an ass in her cock.”
+13
Ham Beast with her ham bag.
More like Miranda Kerr-vaceous
She smells of Turtle Wax and Dirty Sanchez.
Would still hit.
That’s a might disapproving look for someone who has only seen the lens of a paparazzi camera once a decade.
No, that’s just her face.
Oh, the kid! Riiight. It’s been a long day and I’m quite stoned.