Apparently, “taking a step back” from your marriage means posting more bikini photos on Twitter so guys want to do you. I’m on board.
Welcome to The Crap We Missed: The part of the day where we sift through the ungodly amounts of photos at our disposal and then hurl the best ones in your face like some sort of Internet Rip Taylor. No homo. — Okay, a little. Today, we’ve got Jessica Simpson taking a tour of Yale and wondering when they get to play Quidditch like that college Harry Potter goes to, Chyna returning to her (he/she porn) roots, Black Heff‘s sheer existence canceling out Tila Tequila and the most unbelievable Kirstie Alley photo you’ll ever see in your life. I guess Scientologists really do know magic.
We’re all dead.
- The Superficial
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Photo: Fame, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
The American Pie money has, but the shaikh money from Rent-A-Starlet hasn’t yet.
I heard she’s participating in a new game show competing with Maw Duggar and the octomom. If you make it thru to the end without your uterus falling out, you get to have your vag sewn permanently shut free of charge. It’s called Who Wants To Do The World A Favor?
Shut up, Meadow.
+1
I’d love to fill that perfect semen trough in the middle of her back.
I don’t think she likes it when people spit on her.
Tee hee!
Yale:
Student body size: 11,500
Average IQ of student body: 133
Average IQ of student body, plus those pictured: 132
I dont mean to be a stickler for details, but if their IQ’s were supposed to be really low in your theory, it would actually drag the average down much more than just 1.
I don’t mean to be a stickler for basic math skills, but if you added in those two and it dropped the entire average by a whole point, they would each have an IQ of -5,618, which is pretty damn low. POINT DREG!
Actually K… it would make their IQ a combined -11236. Sorry about the stickling.
stickler – go back and revisit your stats text books.
Just beat me to it Mark. Nice job!
Isn’t this a still shot from the scene in Dumb and Dumber when Lloyd and Harry go on the shopping spree?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4f4EsPBvTk
Wait, I don’t get it, is Heidi Montag flicking me off or trying to steal my soul?
pearl necklace gone wrong.
good. now if she could just lose a few decades…
Wow. I think he’s pretty (when he’s groomed), but next to her, he’s … well, looking satisfied, at least.
It’s like someone spliced the genes of Chewbacca, Miss Piggy and Boy George.
luckiest bastard in the world.
+1000
you wanna talk about motherssssssss!!!!
JWoww is a good friend for helping Snooki wheel her sack lunch.
Lion-O can’t be happy about how much Cheetara has let herself go.
you know youre a redneck if you come from a rural area and behave as such.
I doff my hat to The Family Guy watcher!
whats up with the chyna pics today?
+1
You know what Mr. T carries in his bag? Chuck Norris.
Wow, now she has to resort to stealing cars?
I really owe those pants a big thank you just for being there.
amen
I would toss it in her hair and then call her a bitch as I was walking out.
She just needs a weekend or two of forced anal to put her back in her place.
Fish, what’s your mailing address? I need to bill you for a new computer. I just puked on mine.
Oh, I guess he just saw that Chyna pic too.
The Diceman falleth.
She has the same head as Tila Tequila…. just saying.
You could land a Cessna between her eyes. Larger aircraft if it were Amanda Seyfried.
Air Force One if it was Uma Thurman
That sucked dude….ruined it for me…almost. ; )
What porno is she in again?
These two CANNOT come from the same vagina. Impossible.
same vagina, acceptable… same penis, veeeery doubtable!
Be mine forever.
“Okay, for the first part of our reception party, we thought we’d do a decorate your own cup craft. Afterwards, we’ll be finger painting, and finally, cake and a piñata.”
You left out Tila Tequila’s macaroni pictures.
seriously thought he died from cancer a few years ago. way to go Mr. T!
Nice, you have to love women who are back on the market.
She is going to be banging the snot out of a bunch of guys for the foreseeable future.
You speak the Truth.
A lot of men are going to be very happy banging the Married out of her.
She just caused me to bang something all over my keyboard and monitor.
MMMMMMM, Doggy – style in the pool
Hello? 1990? Please pick up! Oh!
Khloe? Is that you?
Obama in the background?
…sayin it with his eyes.
Nice gams. Pretty legs, too.
I’ll have Congressman Weiner send her a direct message on Twitter for me.
Which venereal diseases causes accelerated leg hair growth?
Ha ha! How zany! This man must be a comedian!
Thank god she’s clothed. That nasty ass bathing suit pic made me vomit.
Typical Hollywood star these days. No attractive, not particularly talented, and works cheap.
I have to disagree on this one, actually pretty talented
totally. lot of range, too! *rolls eyes*
Not bad from the boobs up.
You realize her face is up there right?
Yeah, especially the neck. Why do I have a sudden craving for a turkey sammich?
Wow, it’s like looking at a slightly less disgusting version of Christina Aguilera…
I think I’ve got it. The Kardashians are really Hoss, Adam, and little Joe.
This would be Hoss and little Joe of course.
Ding. Ding. +10
HA HA!!
Five dolla fucky sucky! I no kid!
Students of Yale, we present to you today a cautionary tale of Hollywood. We have here two formerly hot women named Jessica…
The much coveted pit hair growing all down my arm tattoo. Good for him!
I do her with Kate Gosselin’s cock,
Speaking of- what the heck happened to her?
How did Lindsay get out of her compound, and where is her ankle monitor?
Looks like Mimi Fariña and Mama Cass at the Monterey Pop festival.
Nice semi-obscure reference. (Bonus for the tilde.)
Just think of all that excess skin. Mmmmm.
hence the full length spanx