The Crap We Missed – Monday 6.6.11

June 6th, 2011 // 722 Comments

Apparently, “taking a step back” from your marriage means posting more bikini photos on Twitter so guys want to do you. I’m on board.

Welcome to The Crap We Missed: The part of the day where we sift through the ungodly amounts of photos at our disposal and then hurl the best ones in your face like some sort of Internet Rip Taylor. No homo. — Okay, a little. Today, we’ve got Jessica Simpson taking a tour of Yale and wondering when they get to play Quidditch like that college Harry Potter goes to, Chyna returning to her (he/she porn) roots, Black Heff‘s sheer existence canceling out Tila Tequila and the most unbelievable Kirstie Alley photo you’ll ever see in your life. I guess Scientologists really do know magic.

We’re all dead.

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    shonzie
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like John Popper in drag. Where’s his harmonica?

  2. Tara Reid
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m so horny right now. i am going to have sex with this car door.”

  3. Chyna Porn
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Chyna appearing as a man or a woman this time?

  4. doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    BY FAR her best side.

  5. Jon Hamm
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s saying . . . “well, that sucked.”

  6. Mr. T
    Drew
    Commented on this photo:

    So now it is us that gets to pity a fool? Sweet.

  7. Jamie-Lynn Sigler
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s amazing how people want to immitate the cast of Jersey Shore.

  8. Sarah Gilbert
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the new internet meme Lesbians who look like Russian bag ladies?

  9. Mark Ballas
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    And here’s where my mom got me the temporary tattoo I’ve been asking her to get me all summer . . .

  10. Andrew Dice Clay
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s his trainer, Britney Spears?

  11. Sarah Gilbert
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the new internet meme Lesbians that look like Russian bag ladies?

  12. Adrianne Curry Bikini Twitter
    Pipedreamer
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if her ex-husband called them “Porkchops and Applesauce”
    cuz they’re swell!!!

  13. Adrianne Curry Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Hi, my name is Mike Lookinland.

    Just practicing my pick-up lines.

  14. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Rosie O’Donnell and the cute Kardashian hang out?

  15. David Hasselhoff Freezer Pop Del Monte Smoothie
    Pipedreamer
    Commented on this photo:

    This is actually a chart showing the size of his ego on the left as compared to the size of his talent on the right.

  16. Black Heff Ice-T Coco Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    so Fish finally decided to post a pic of Marvel comic inker Mark Morales.

  17. David Hasselhoff Freezer Pop Del Monte Smoothie
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what it would feel like to have a Dreg butt plug inside me.

  18. Kate Gosselin
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is there never a mugger when you need one?

  19. Black Heff Ice-T Coco Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    Vowel renewal? Something tells me he was only there for the Bs…or Tila Tequila.

  20. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    Um
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim’s in this picture too. Notice the sack on Khloe’s chin?

  21. Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Yale University
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    The year: 2004, and no combination of Jessicas was providing more masturbatory material than Simpson and Alba. Now let’s hear the number tune in June of 2004 . . .

  22. Tara Reid
    Fletch
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, I can’t believe the American Pie money hasn’t dried up; that’s one nice ride

  23. Sophie Turner
    oj
    Commented on this photo:

    Dayymmnn.

  24. Kirstie Alley Thin Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll bet she still smells like a fat person. You know what I’m talking about.

  25. Jamie-Lynn Sigler
    Fletch
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank God, I flipped through the last 2 quickly. This is easier on the eyes.

  26. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Um
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is where V for Vendetta got its inspiration for the mask! Nice!!

  27. Mr. T
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I pity the fool who thinks I’m Paulie Senior from OCC!

  28. Adrianne Curry Bikini Twitter
    WilmaMankiller
    Commented on this photo:

    Ernie from My Three Sons is probably available. I’m not sure about interested but probably available.

  29. Chyna Porn
    Commented on this photo:

    After all the sexual harassment she endured in the WWE, I’m glad to see she’s back on her feet.

  30. Jersey Shore Snooki JWoww
    Pipedreamer
    Commented on this photo:

    Guy Fawkes in the background must be thinking: “V is for Venereal Disease!”

  31. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    For all that work she still has small tits. You have to wonder . . .

  32. Andrew Dice Clay
    Artie Fatbuckle
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, it’s Ford Fairlame.

  33. Jon Hamm
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he just sucked a lemon. Get it? A lemon.

  34. Black Heff Ice-T Coco Renew Vows
    Commented on this photo:

    Black Heff is black.

  35. Andrew Dice Clay
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Hickory dickory dock, Dice man looks like cock . . .

  36. Jon Hamm
    Chip Whitley
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s nothing classier than pushing out a fart while wearing a $3000 suit.

  37. David Hasselhoff Freezer Pop Del Monte Smoothie
    WilmaMankiller
    Commented on this photo:

    He tried out for the Jolly Green Giant but had to settle for the Del Monte Douchbag.

  38. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Kourtney: And so then he was like– Khloe, are you even listening?
    Khloe: I SMELL CHILI DOGS.

  39. Jamie-Lynn Sigler
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Turtle? Really?

  40. Mark Ballas
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, twinkle toes, the tat doesn’t give you street cred.

  41. Mark Ballas
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    “It says, ‘Left foot forward cha cha cha, right foot back cha cha cha” in ancient Sumerian.”

  42. Black Heff Ice-T Coco Renew Vows
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Black Heff needs to update his costume. He ought be dressed like a cross between Captain Crunch and Pruneface.

  43. Kirstie Alley Thin Skinny
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    If she was a 6 last month, is she a 2 now?

  44. Jersey Shore Snooki JWoww
    Artie Fatbuckle
    Commented on this photo:

    You’d think that in all of Italy there would be at least one mafia hitman willing to do America a solid and take care of these two.

  45. It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    No beer?

  46. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hold on, I got some cud coming up.”

  47. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    This must be what Joan Rivers is going for.

  48. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    Matty
    Commented on this photo:

    This is like a before and after pic, we’re just missing the part where bugs bunny sticks a pressurized air hose into Kourtney.

  49. Ryan Seacrest Julianne Hough
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s the Believable-ist!

  50. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    AT
    Commented on this photo:

    :|
    courtney is the only one that looks like an effin human
    the others are freaks of nature

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