The Crap We Missed – Monday 6.6.11

June 6th, 2011 // 722 Comments

Apparently, “taking a step back” from your marriage means posting more bikini photos on Twitter so guys want to do you. I’m on board.

Welcome to The Crap We Missed: The part of the day where we sift through the ungodly amounts of photos at our disposal and then hurl the best ones in your face like some sort of Internet Rip Taylor. No homo. — Okay, a little. Today, we’ve got Jessica Simpson taking a tour of Yale and wondering when they get to play Quidditch like that college Harry Potter goes to, Chyna returning to her (he/she porn) roots, Black Heff‘s sheer existence canceling out Tila Tequila and the most unbelievable Kirstie Alley photo you’ll ever see in your life. I guess Scientologists really do know magic.

We’re all dead.

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Shorty80
    Commented on this photo:

    Insert joke about resemblance to Joan Rivers, Tori Spelling, Heidi Montag, etc here.

    I can’t believe she has enough skin left to continue having surgery. That has to be a plastic mask.

  2. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    CharmlessMan
    Commented on this photo:

    For someone who’s allergic to crab, she should really stop eating crab.

  3. Andrew Dice Clay
    CharmlessMan
    Commented on this photo:

    Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
    I don’t feel like rhyming, you always sucked.

  4. Jamie-Lynn Sigler
    mnsuperbee
    Commented on this photo:

    Blue Steel!

  5. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    duh
    Commented on this photo:

    Old news. This freak has been a fixture in follywood for decades. Next!

  6. Andrew Dice Clay
    duh
    Commented on this photo:

    Andy andy, broke as a dandy. Lives off smokes and liquid candy.

  7. Jon Hamm
    Tiff
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t care, still hot.

  8. Adrianne Curry Bikini Twitter
    Big_Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    This chick really doesn’t do it for me. She’s really not all that attractive.

  9. Chyna Porn
    Big_Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude features…

  10. Andrew Dice Clay
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude!! Where’s my hair.

  11. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    Big_Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Indiana Jones and the Last Cuisine

  12. Black Heff Ice-T Coco Renew Vows
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    wtf is a vowel renewal??

  13. Andrew Dice Clay
    sasha
    Commented on this photo:

    I really thought he was dead.

  14. Chyna Porn
    Jennifer
    Commented on this photo:

    At least Chyna’s surgeon did a better job than Ann Coulter’s by not forgetting the adam’s apple.

  15. Chyna Porn
    Marco
    Commented on this photo:

    Very confused.

  16. Kirstie Alley Thin Skinny
    Flanders
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she looks great.

  17. Chyna Porn
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s returning as a gay fluffer

  18. Jon Hamm
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    Me thinks Don Draper just saw an interracial couple

  19. Mark Ballas
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    nice keds douchbeg

  20. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    Sadly for Khloe, the black WASN’T slimming

  21. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    hehehe…Klhoe, you look like someone put helium in my mouth…

  22. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    Godzilla takes New York?

  23. Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Yale University
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    Same name, same weight…too bad one has a kid in her

  24. Jersey Shore Snooki JWoww
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    Not sure who Guy Fawkes is but I hope that Italian version of the Scream guy does actually kill these two

  25. Jersey Shore Snooki JWoww
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    how funny that Snooki wears shoes to make her look like a Clidesdale…tall and magestic… but she is the exact opposite…puny and disgusting. The only thing she has in common with the horse is a love for Bud Light and fu**ing in public

  26. Ryan Seacrest Julianne Hough
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    Even after work she’s “dancing” with “stars”?

  27. Sophie Turner
    MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see she’s still working….on the corner of MLK and 6th

  28. MrsWrong
    Commented on this photo:

    my puppy has a harness like that..

  29. Adrianne Curry Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, excellent choice. The spicy finish pairs well with a pair of tits.

  30. Kate Gosselin
    RayRay's Nubbin
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does she keep coming back? Isn’t she aware of the UN agreement that her 15 seconds is up?

  31. David Hasselhoff Freezer Pop Del Monte Smoothie
    Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    Big David and Little David always see eye to eye on women.

  32. Kirstie Alley Thin Skinny
    Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    When you need to put three hundred pounds of trash in a hundred pound bag, use Hefty!

  33. Jon Hamm
    Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    Wolverine after a few too many orders of Outback cheesefries.

  34. Mark Ballas
    Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    “Twenty more of these and I’ll be able to break out of jail.”

  35. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    The Kardashian girls model their new Gucci tampon carry bags in “Sweet Petite” and “Hoover Dam”.

  36. Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Yale University
    Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    Twins 2. Only their mother could tell them apart.

  37. Jersey Shore Snooki JWoww
    Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    Snooki stepped on both of their dogs. AGAIN!

  38. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m so wronely. So wronely.”

  39. Andrew Dice Clay
    Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    “My career? I fucked it – Aoooowwww!!”

  40. Orlando Bloom Miranda Kerr
    Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now ve get moose and sqvirl.”

  41. Brennan Haley
    Commented on this photo:

    A donkey tattoo on the back of her neck that says “Punch here”? NIICEEEE.

  42. Bee Bee

    Someone please tell me what is so sexy about this woman? She looks like a starving feline or something.

  43. Kate Gosselin
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured, 8 FREAKING CHILDREN!

  44. Jack Black Kung Fu Panda 2
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s dishonoring my culture, and cashing in on my history, but I can’t stay mad at him.

  45. Chyna Porn
    Commented on this photo:

    Her genitalia looks like it has a pop up turkey timer in it, and that turkey is done.

  46. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Gandalf the Gargantuan

  47. Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Yale University
    Commented on this photo:

    10 years ago I would have driven my penis through my monitor.

  48. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    MEOOOOOW.

  49. Andrew Dice Clay
    Commented on this photo:

    Little Miss Muffet, sat on his tuffet, enjoying vanilla latte. Along came a bum, stinking of rum, who he BLEW BECAUSE HE NEEDED THE MONEY! DOOOOOH!

  50. Sophie Turner
    Commented on this photo:

    That is definitely a 50 dollar prostitute. I mean that as a compliment.

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