Apparently, “taking a step back” from your marriage means posting more bikini photos on Twitter so guys want to do you. I’m on board.
Welcome to The Crap We Missed: The part of the day where we sift through the ungodly amounts of photos at our disposal and then hurl the best ones in your face like some sort of Internet Rip Taylor. No homo. — Okay, a little. Today, we’ve got Jessica Simpson taking a tour of Yale and wondering when they get to play Quidditch like that college Harry Potter goes to, Chyna returning to her (he/she porn) roots, Black Heff‘s sheer existence canceling out Tila Tequila and the most unbelievable Kirstie Alley photo you’ll ever see in your life. I guess Scientologists really do know magic.
We’re all dead.
- The Superficial
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Photo: Fame, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN



































Holy shit! I wasn’t prepared for that.
Her face irritates me. Her tits on the other hand…
Hey Adrianne call me I get to those extra three inches Chris could never reach
I said then “don’t worry, she’ll be baack on her knees in no time”
I bet if her and John Merrick banged out a kid, it would be SOOOO adorable.
That is one black, greasy dude. Looks like a Snickers bar dipped in water.
Seriously, it’s June in fucking Italy. What the fuck are you doing wearing snow boots, you stupid fucking TROLL!?!?!
They just let anyone in NY nowadays.
lamar odom is a fucking retard. hes a professional baller and for some reason he felt the need to settle down with this slobberino?? he is a disgrace to mankind.
Come to butthead……
I’d hit it. Like a railway spike.
Flava Flav?
I have no words. But I need a towel.
Now this what I expected the Shriver-Schwanegger to produce
Took the words right out of my mouth.
Fellas, I have a fever!!! And the only prescription… is more thwap-thwap-thwap!!!
Who the hell did Kris Jenner screw 27 years ago?
from this picture I would have to say The Incredible Bulk
Honestly not jealous (ok, maybe bitter) but she tries way too hard. Weird for someone who shouldn’t have to. Dare I say it? She’s starting to have that look of being on the edge of “over” (Jenna James and Janice Dickinson style). The cave between her knockers is looking slightly Tori Spelling as well.
You know your modeling career is going great when you get your bikini pics taken in front of blow-up pool toys and a random man who’s probably watching his kids.
No more scowling at this age; it’s not sexy at some point.
Who?
how can u miss that?
Wonder when the first lawsuit will pop up of someone choking on the Hoff?
She looks like a really bloated Julia Stiles…
Jennifer Beals laughed. A lot.
I would hate to be anything breakable in the room where she undresses and releases all that compressed fat
where’s the justice? we lose Macho Man yet still have this?
he’s looking for a place to spit the load he just received
so THAT’S where all of Kirstie’s fat went…
Since the Two Coreys show ended with the death of one, what’s the odds we would lose a Jessica if they teamed up for a reality show?
Black Heff?
Nah, Heff wit.
Ryan Seacrest….OUT
Yanno’, all I have to say about the T is, well done, sir! You have my deepest respect for fighting the good fight against that bastard cancer and coming out on top!
Blue steel?
would someone please get Tori Spelling an EpiPen, stat?
I was thinking the same exact thing!
the secret to my fashion? two words: comfortable shoes!
DOES THIS BACK HAVE A NAME?? If so, do tell!!!
i know it’s kind of dumb to answer myself, but as I scrolled up to see that wonderful creature again, I read who it was…
Where did that lesbo get kids that look like her?
Ok, Jessica Alba I can believe, but who let Jessica Simpson on that campus? Campus Police!!
She looked okay…nice dress, hair neatly styled; then you get down to the ‘ho shoes in the little girl pose. WTF?
Why are these bag ladies always pushing such tiny carts?
The new mask design for Phantom of the Opera II is horrifying!
Holy shit! Hahahaha!!!
I thought that was Tila Tequila for a moment there. Hey Miranda, get some plastic surgery quick before your career goes in the toilet.
How pathetic do you have to be that you can’t even keep a Brady Bunch kid?
Who would let these two idiots near this school? The IQ of everyone in a 5 mile radius must have plummeted.
Apparently MTV wants Italy to declare war on us.
I hear Jerry Mathers from Leave it to Beaver is available.
Did she have some kind of corrective cosmetic surgery? We’ve only been subjected to certain angles and lighting, but it seems like she looks better these days.
Bite me!
Ooompa Loompa