The Crap We Missed – Monday 6.6.11

June 6th, 2011 // 722 Comments

Apparently, “taking a step back” from your marriage means posting more bikini photos on Twitter so guys want to do you. I’m on board.

Welcome to The Crap We Missed: The part of the day where we sift through the ungodly amounts of photos at our disposal and then hurl the best ones in your face like some sort of Internet Rip Taylor. No homo. — Okay, a little. Today, we’ve got Jessica Simpson taking a tour of Yale and wondering when they get to play Quidditch like that college Harry Potter goes to, Chyna returning to her (he/she porn) roots, Black Heff‘s sheer existence canceling out Tila Tequila and the most unbelievable Kirstie Alley photo you’ll ever see in your life. I guess Scientologists really do know magic.

We’re all dead.

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. David Hasselhoff Freezer Pop Del Monte Smoothie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wow, it’s so realistic! You even made it reek like alcohol!”

  2. Adrianne Curry Bikini Twitter
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if anyone has what she’s so obviously looking for.

  3. Kirstie Alley Thin Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    So, how long till she hits 300 again? Place your bets, gentlemen.

  4. David Hasselhoff Freezer Pop Del Monte Smoothie
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Very disturbing photo.

  5. Jon Hamm
    Commented on this photo:

    You know you’re a douchebag when you can’t even get the “douchebag lip-purse” right.

  6. David Hasselhoff Freezer Pop Del Monte Smoothie
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d eat me. I’d eat me so hard.

  7. Kirstie Alley Thin Skinny
    lemonfresh
    Commented on this photo:

    Where the hell did she find long-sleeved full-body Spanx?

  8. Sarah Gilbert
    MarkM
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow…Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez really DO make a cute couple!

  9. Kirstie Alley Thin Skinny
    holymoly
    Commented on this photo:

    a little known fact about lord xenu. he invented spanx. and kirstie allie just traded her sea org membership for the best pair ever.

  10. Chyna Porn
    rough text
    Commented on this photo:

    *checks amazon for pop instant corn sales*

  11. Tara Reid
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t believe I’m saying this, but she looks pretty good here

  12. Chyna Porn
    holymoly
    Commented on this photo:

    vera dimilo, is that you?

  13. bob

    who is this broad?

  14. Jack Black Kung Fu Panda 2
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bring me Aubrey O’Day’s ham-shaped vagina.”

  15. Mark Ballas
    holymoly
    Commented on this photo:

    and that’s when the doctor said, “no, that doesn’t look normal at all. I’ve never seen armpit hair do that”.

  16. Kate Gosselin
    MILF
    Commented on this photo:

    Are she and Dina Lohan morphing into the same person?

  17. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    JESUS H. M. F. CHRIST! she can change her name to Frankenstein now

  18. Kate Gosselin
    oj
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking suprisingly good. Just don’t show me the belly.

  19. paris hilton is a huge loser

    the friends with benefits movie ad makes me realize how much these two look like they could be sisters. same exotic look.

  20. Kirstie Alley Thin Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess she just tucked everything in the back?

  21. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    paris hilton is a huge loser
    Commented on this photo:

    thought it was a guy holy shit

  22. Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Yale University
    Whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmm… IQ of both combined?? 1? 2?

  23. Andrew Dice Clay
    Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    And not a single fuck was given that day.

  24. MmmmHmmm.Sure.

    She is gross. As a woman myself, I can appreciate the sexiness of another woman. This one, however, is nasty!

  25. Chyna Porn
    Commented on this photo:

    If OctoMom’s been doing porn all this time, why can’t she pay her damn mortgage?

  26. paris hilton is a huge loser
    Commented on this photo:

    perfect back

  27. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    That look the wookie has…..she’s either ready to forage for food or is scoping out more places to shop.

  28. Adrianne Curry Bikini Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    definitely soon to be dating a marvel comics artist. she allowed a good grop shot of hers with Stan Lee. not as excessive as the Timberlake/Kunis one but just as close.

  29. Sarah Gilbert
    Commented on this photo:

    wait, if she’s sitting there, then who’s pushing the shopping cart?

  30. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    Uncle Jemima
    Commented on this photo:

    Head and shoulders above the humans.

  31. Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Yale University
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Take the test. One is pregnant. Can you guess which it is?

  32. Kourtney Kardashian Khloe Kardashian
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s John Candy and his date Kourtney Kardashian steppin’ out on the red carpet at the premiere of “Uncle Buck: Witness Protection”.

  33. David Hasselhoff Freezer Pop Del Monte Smoothie
    Commented on this photo:

    he just achieved the ultimate fantasy of having to suck himself off without surgery and a large penis.

  34. Adrianne Curry Bikini Twitter
    bing
    Commented on this photo:

    Attention Whore

  35. Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Yale University
    Commented on this photo:

    If you look close, you can see Jessica Simpson’s wearing a disguise, and it looks like a Mr. Potato Head nose.

  36. Kirstie Alley Thin Skinny
    Commented on this photo:

    she almost looks fuckable.

  37. Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Yale University
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    Has-been and passed-by.

  38. Ryan Seacrest Julianne Hough
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Methinks someone has gotten their drunk on.

  39. Jaime King
    Commented on this photo:

    Hot meets boring.

  40. Jersey Shore Snooki JWoww
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh wow, there are wheels on our luggage? You’re a genius, Snooks!”

  41. Jersey Shore Snooki JWoww
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, Guy Fawkes…wake the hell up! If there was EVER a time to detonate a bomb, it’s RIGHT NOW!

  42. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    MmmmHmmm.Sure.
    Commented on this photo:

    Are there even words?

  43. Jessica Simpson Jessica Alba Yale University
    Commented on this photo:

    Well look who turned up. Fat has-been and fatter has-been.

  44. Mr. T
    Commented on this photo:

    Night Elf Mohawk looks like shit in the daytime.

  45. Adrianne Curry Bikini Twitter
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmmmmm, beer.

  46. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She did that to herself. Sickening.

  47. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    Jennifer Aniston never looked hotter.

  48. Kate Gosselin
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank God she got rid of all those damned kids. Now she’s a STAR! Wait, why is she famous again? Oh, right. The kids.

  49. Andrew Dice Clay
    doogleberg
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says “Max Muscle Training Gear” like Starbucks and a smoke. Hey, it works for Kirsten Dunst, right?

  50. Jocelyn Wildenstein
    Commented on this photo:

    Tila Tequila looks different. Maybe it’s the hair.

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