The Crap We Missed – Monday 6.24.13

June 24th, 2013 // 535 Comments

“Heidi would never do this unless I dressed up like a robo- YOU’RE LEAVING FINGERPRINTS!!” – Seal

Welcome to an enormous Monday’s The Crap We Missed. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to find enough fuckery to max one of these galleries out, so I hope you enjoy the fruits of my labor, because yes, I’ve somehow made a job out of, “Ha! He looks like this now?” *posts to Internet* Anyway, inside you’ll find Channing Tatum losing at least 50% of whatever he’ll earn for the rest of his life, Kobe Bryant and his boys scoping out some dark alleys, Nicole Murphy teaching her daughter about how jobs are for the unattractive and holy shit, Amanda Bynes has a time machine!

And now “The Great Ugly Asian Magazine Editor Slaughter Of 1957″ makes perfect sense…

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Cacee Cobb Pregnant Donald Faison Sympathy Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    Never seen a third nipple that low before.

  2. Cacee Cobb Pregnant Donald Faison Sympathy Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    His tits are almost as big as hers.

  3. Ewan McGregor Moustache Flavor Savor
    Tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ‘tache!

  4. Pope Francis Greeting Crowd Of Children Vatican Railway Station
    Some Crass Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Have this one delivered to my room, and send the others back to the Papal Harem until next week.

  5. Verne Troyer The Lone Ranger Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    He was amaizing in Game of Highchairs.

  6. Christina Aguilera Thin Weight Loss Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    Her body will last a long time — silicone doesn’t degrade well.

  7. Shia LaBeouf Army Shorts Boots Mia Goth Cameltoe Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s got a nice body.

  8. Ashley Fink Kissing Seth Green 3rd Annual 24 Hour Plays Los Angeles
    Commented on this photo:

    His eyes are saying “SAVE ME!”

  9. Ewan McGregor Moustache Flavor Savor
    Commented on this photo:

    He fell to the Dork Side.

  10. Molly Ringwald Nipples No Bra Jazz Concert Rehearsal Queensland
    Commented on this photo:

    As an old fart (40+) most of my dreams involve Molly Ringwald, Marissa Tomei, and Tiffani Theissen doing all sorts of things.

    Singing is not one of them.

  11. David Beckham Smiling Victoria Beckham Scowling China Central Television
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she ever smile?

  12. Pope Francis Greeting Crowd Of Children Vatican Railway Station
    Commented on this photo:

    The Pope’s Hairy Potter Rape Party went off without a hitch.

  13. Ireland Baldwin Butt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I want to take a trip to Ireland. I want to go right up the middle.

  14. Kobe Bryant On Balcony Friends On Cellphones
    bendover
    Commented on this photo:

    dude on the left seems to be Junior Dos Santos

  15. Shia LaBeouf Army Shorts Boots Mia Goth Cameltoe Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture just makes me angry.

  16. Brooke Shields Crazy Face The Heat Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t remember who it was (Dice Clay?,) but someone made a joke that “Brooke Shields” sounds like it should be the name of a maxi pad.

    She looks like she just realized she forgot hers.

  17. Russell Brand Long Scarf Posing With Fan BBC Radio 1 Studios
    Commented on this photo:

    Louie Anderson died his hair.

  18. Courtney Love Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Catching her breath after taking the stage.

  19. Joe Lawrence Backwards Hat Skinny Jeans Skate Shoes The Lone Ranger Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I have this idea in my head that he and Richard Grieco trade off on crashing every premiere in the greater Los Angeles area.

  20. Donatella Versace Creepy Face
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Mick Jagger go blond?

  21. Courtney Love Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the hell is paying her to “perform” these days? You can watch her stumble around and babble unintelligibly for free.

  22. Eric Dane Leg Stretch Working Out With Trainer
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought the whole point of hiring a trainer was so you didn’t have to do this ridiculous shit in public?

  23. Kendra Wilkinson Legs Romper Drais Pool VEET Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Who thinks her endorsement really sells a product line?

  24. Donatella Versace Creepy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t think of her as ugly. “Ugly” connotes to me that the person was just born that way, or becomes unattractive via aging or other life events. For people like her, I reserve the word “grotesque”, which to me means an active desire to look that way *and* think they look good.

    • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

      I think of it this way: she made ugly choices which resulted in grotesque procedures that butchered her natural looks, leaving her looking revolting.

  25. Britney Spears Saggy Boobs
    Commented on this photo:

    The opposite of MILF.

  26. Elijah Wood Messenger Bag Frisbee Firefly Music Festival
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Answering the question, “Would any of you twinks like to play frisbee?”

  27. Shia LaBeouf Army Shorts Boots Mia Goth Cameltoe Short Shorts
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, when do you start shooting Transformers 4.”
    “I left those movies behind. I’m a serious actor now.”
    “You mean Michael Bay doesn’t want to work with you anymore.”
    *sigh* “No.”

  28.  Emi Takei James Franco Gucci Milan Menswear Fashion Week Spring Summer 2014 Show
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she his date, or his hostage?

  29. Donatella Versace Creepy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    I think you need magic weapons to kill it.

  30. Ewan McGregor Moustache Flavor Savor
    Blug
    Commented on this photo:

    Did he just land his mustache?

  31. Kristina Mladenovic Cameltoe Upskirt Wimbledon
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice camel toe. Gotta love women’s tennis.

  32. Barry Pepper Long Hair The Lone Ranger Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Sloth from “The Goonies” got is real? And got his eyes aligned? Sell out!

  33. Ashley Fink Kissing Seth Green 3rd Annual 24 Hour Plays Los Angeles
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s having a fight or flight reaction.

  34. Courtney Love Cleavage
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Courtney Love performing until the heroin kicked in.

  35. Hugh Jackman Huge Biceps Carrying Baguette Walking Dog
    Commented on this photo:

    He must’ve smelled Mystique nearby. He’s ready to attack.

  36. Beth Ostrosky Stern Howard Stern Get Wild Event Evelyn Alexander Wildlife
    Commented on this photo:

    Those things are always asleep on the side of the road by my house. Same with the possums.

  37. Russell Brand Long Scarf Posing With Fan BBC Radio 1 Studios
    I'mCool
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Russell, when you’re done posing for pictures, can you lean over and take a close look at the fan belt on my car? I think something’s wrong.

  38. Beth Ostrosky Stern Howard Stern Get Wild Event Evelyn Alexander Wildlife
    Commented on this photo:

    I remember seeing one of those in real life at my parents’ house a few years ago. It was wet from the rain, shivering, and looked absolutely miserable. On top of that, the dog had it cornered, and it was making pitiful noises. I managed to pull the dog away, and let that poor creature slink back to where it came from.

    On the other hand, the woman and the possum are cute!

  39. Britney Spears Saggy Boobs
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: A paparazzo just out of frame, holding a bucket of fried chicken–who is about to get a very unpleasant surprise.

  40. Kobe Bryant On Balcony Friends On Cellphones
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking for a sodomy victim.

  41. Sandra Bullock Bony Chest Cleavage The Heat Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    She just realize there was a camera and she didn’t have her kid with her.

  42. Vin Diesel Shirtless Paddleboarding With Young Girl Facebook
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Mommy! Riddick is on my board again!!

  43. Jessica Simpson Pregnant Eric Johnson
    Commented on this photo:

    Take a good look, Eric. That’s going to be her wardrobe for the rest of her life. Her Daisy Duke days are long gone.

  44. Beth Ostrosky Stern Howard Stern Get Wild Event Evelyn Alexander Wildlife
    Commented on this photo:

    I havent listened to Stern in years.

    Is he still talking about his bowel movements and American Idol?

  45. Elijah Wood Messenger Bag Frisbee Firefly Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “Elijah, it has been suggested that you and Tobey Maguire should team up in a buddy movie, what do you think of that idea?”
    (slowly moves frisbee down to cover his excitement at the prospect)

  46. Elijah Wood Messenger Bag Frisbee Firefly Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    All that Harry Potter money and he’s just cruising around getting free shit. Sad.

  47. Rihanna Topless Vintage Camera Instagram
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Was wondering when she’d start pulling her titties out on instagram or twitter. It’s been a while.

  48. Joe Lawrence Backwards Hat Skinny Jeans Skate Shoes The Lone Ranger Premiere
    Hank E. Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Call me Joe now please, I would like to be thought of as adult now. Though I still dress as if I’m 12.

  49. Cacee Cobb Pregnant Donald Faison Sympathy Weight Gain
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    They have matching nipples! How cute!

  50. Ewan McGregor Moustache Flavor Savor
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    He had better be playing Doc Holiday in a movie or play, otherwise his publicist is going to be pissed.

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