The Crap We Missed – Monday 5.7.12

May 7th, 2012 // 689 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you super early today because Photo Boy and I are finally seeing The Avengers as you’re reading this, so I can post a nerdishly long review later tonight because it’s that time of year again. And for you careful observers, yes, I just took a half-day on my first day back from vacation. I didn’t want to get a cramp.

PENIS JOKE SMASH!

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN/Johnny Louis

superficial

  1. Selena Gomez Vanessa Hudgens Ashley Benson Bikini
    Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny how the no name girls are hotter than the celebs.. well funny in a celebs are generally not as hot as non celebs way :)

  2. kimmykimkim

    Fish, it’s like you’re forcing me to be productive today. That’s mean.

  3. Maria Menounos Bikini Derek Hough
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    This next “Human Centipede” sequel looks even more disturbing.

  4. David Beckham Crotch Grab
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep, still in Victoria’s purse.

  5. Selena Gomez Vanessa Hudgens Ashley Benson Bikini
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    For a fleeting moment, I was monumentally aroused. Then the though that Bieber shags the girl on the left flashed through my mind and that was a proverbial cold shower.

  6. Shia LaBeouf Greasy Hair Dirty Sneakers Skinny Jeans
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “I … I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you … did you just call me a ‘dirty hippy’?”

  7. Shia LaBeouf Greasy Hair Dirty Sneakers Skinny Jeans
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate close talkers.

  8. Selena Gomez Vanessa Hudgens Ashley Benson Bikini
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    If I could Mr Potato Head them bitches, I’d bolt together a solid 7 for sexual use and a 4 for sexual abuse.

  9. Ashton Kutcher Bowtie Hat Kentucky Derby
    Commented on this photo:

    “And it’s douchebag by a nose.”

  10. Maria Menounos Bikini Derek Hough
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    there’s more vagina slipping in this picture than maria’s last photoshoot.

  11. Floyd Mayweather Jr. Justin Bieber Ringside Championship Belts
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Whew. All this testosterone is intoxicating. But, man, these belts are super heavy. Still: worth it!”

    • Joaquin ingles

      If God wanted to prove he existed, he’d let this little bitch be in the ring next fight and make sure the most chaotic free-for-all in the history of boxing broke out.

  12. Ashton Kutcher Bowtie Hat Kentucky Derby
    Juano
    Commented on this photo:

    Turd alert, turd alert!

  13. Shia LaBeouf Greasy Hair Dirty Sneakers Skinny Jeans
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s being held up because he contains way more than 3 fluid ounces of douche water.

  14. Courtney Love No Makeup
    Frank The Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    “What sort of person would put a giant mirror outside?”

  15. LeAnn Rimes Eddie Cibrian Brandi Glanville Son Jake Soccer Game
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Good lord! They’ve hung a little sunscreen on Leann and they’re using her like a folding chair!

  16. LeAnn Rimes Eddie Cibrian Brandi Glanville Son Jake Soccer Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “Shit…there’s Madonna. She’s so fat and disgusting. Don’t say anything and hopefully she won’t notice us.”

  17. Shia LaBeouf Greasy Hair Dirty Sneakers Skinny Jeans
    Frank The Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    “I was not always as you see me now. Can you spare a dollar?”

  18. Joey Fatone
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Like it? Yeah, Rothlisberger gives one of these little hats to everyone he rapes.”

  19. Joey Fatone
    Commented on this photo:

    More like Joey Fatterone.

  20. Rod Stewart Penny Lancaster
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    rod stewart sucks ass although I dig the mandolin at the end of Maggie May

  21. Amber Heard Cleavage The Conversation Launch
    JANE
    Commented on this photo:

    That is insanely unflattering for her chest.

    • Blech

      Gee, I didn’t know they needed to spill out all over the place, all whore-like.

      She looks fine.

      • Cock Dr

        She squashed them and they appear to be lopsided.
        Fashion FAIL

      • And you haven’t even seen the shoes, CD.

        [img]http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/05/07/article-2140637-12F69635000005DC-693_306x760.jpg[/img]

      • I’m not a fashionista by any stretch of the imagination but she could have picked out some better shoes. Eh, who cares as long as she switches teams and those shoes are on my floor.

  22. Joey Fatone
    Frank The Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is Joey Fat One?

  23. Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant Belly Tight Dress Kim Kardashian Mason
    Commented on this photo:

    “Khloe! Hey Khloe!”

  24. Will Smith Willow Smith Jada Pinkett-Smith
    Frank The Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    How nice that he passed on his ears to his daughter

  25. Shaquille O'Neal Cap And Gown
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    For fuck’s sake.

  26. Carrie Fisher
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, that just ruined any gold bikini fantasies I ever had.

  27. Carrie Fisher
    Commented on this photo:

    Aren’t you a little fat for a Princess?

  28. Amber Heard Cleavage The Conversation Launch
    Frank The Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    I am getting a bit tired of these Courtney Stodden posts…

  29. Kristen Stewart Midriff
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    You have to admire her commitment to method acting. She stays in character as “dead-faced chick who can’t act” everywhere she goes.

  30. Constantine Maroulis
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come on, Rumer. You’ve got plenty to spare. Please?”

  31. Carrie Fisher
    PtC
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess that whole weight loss thing didn’t stick.

  32. Hugh Jackman Daughter Ava Popsicles
    PtC
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s good at that.

  33. Courtney Love No Makeup
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Relax, it’s just a fire hydrant, not Kurt’s giant ghost penis.

  34. Rumer Willis Cleavage Bra
    Skeets
    Commented on this photo:

    Dose Titays

  35. Rumer Willis Cleavage Bra
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Keep your chin up Rumer, it’ll make your neck SUPER strong.

  36. Kourtney Kardashian Pregnant Belly Tight Dress Kim Kardashian Mason
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just so you know, I’m totally not intimidated by your front butt, Kourtney.”

  37. Courtney Love No Makeup
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m MELTING!

  38. Shaquille O'Neal Cap And Gown
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, I finished 6th grade too, can I have one?

  39. Selena Gomez Vanessa Hudgens Ashley Benson Bikini
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    Who plays the second one from the right? No reason, just ask-tits. The reason is tits.

  40. Courtney Love No Makeup
    Omega_Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello 911, someone stole my shopping cart with all my stuff.

  41. Ashton Kutcher Bowtie Hat Kentucky Derby
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    In a minute, he’s going to sit astride Sarah Jessica Parker and OWN those other nags.

  42. Rumer Willis Cleavage Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    Freudian Slip moment: I immediately read that as “Jaws”

  43. Courtney Love No Makeup
    Commented on this photo:

    Bah! A Make-up artist!

  44. Shaquille O'Neal Cap And Gown
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I can haz diploma ?
    PLZZZZZZZZZZZ ?

  45. David Beckham Crotch Grab
    YoMamma
    Commented on this photo:

    Need some help?

  46. Carrie Fisher
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    This is not the slave girl I was looking for.

  47. Shia LaBeouf Greasy Hair Dirty Sneakers Skinny Jeans
    Justin
    Commented on this photo:

    “You pull any of that barroom shit with me boy and I’ll kick your ass from here to Poughkeepsie.”

  48. Rumer Willis Cleavage Bra
    YoMamma
    Commented on this photo:

    Shopping with someone who has a weak chin = bad idea Rumor

  49. Common Scruffy Beard
    YoMamma
    Commented on this photo:

    Scruffy pubes look – ew

  50. Shaquille O'Neal Cap And Gown
    Commented on this photo:

    duh and they said to me if I behaved really really well for the people with flashy camera’s they would let me use the big boy scissors this time coz last time I cut off my wee wee by accident duh

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