The Crap We Missed – Monday 5.19.14

May 19th, 2014 // 498 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, a super-sized selection of what happened to be a weekend of a zillion events, even though I definitely focused way too hard on The Expendables 3 premiere at Cannes. But there’s also stuff from The BAFTA Awards where Helena Bonham Carter somehow managed to look not homeless as well as Jason Statham discovering MDMA and I’m talking the good shit that can only delivered to you vaginally from Lindsay Lohan, not whatever bullshit Banderas slipped everybody at lunch.

And duh, butts. There will always be butts,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kaley Cuoco Butt Riding Pants Horeseback Equestrian Tournament
    Commented on this photo:

    http://www.horsedeathwatch.com/

    Hate this shit, both racing and jumping. They push them far too hard.

    Now, if they were riding other celebrities … I’d watch the fuck out of that.

  2. Kelly Rowland Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Billlboard Music Awards
    YadaYada
    Commented on this photo:

    Beyon-who? Sexy as hell.

  3. Sofia Vergara Butt Bandage Dress Brad Pitt Annual Make It Right Gala
    Voice of Reisling
    Commented on this photo:

    Make it tight, amirite!

  4. Coco Butt Side Boob String Bikini Leg Stretch Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    NO

  5. Mel Gibson Bring Back Our Girls Sign Kellan Lutz Antonio Banderas The Expendables 3 Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    And Lutz’s card should read ‘GURLS’

  6. Sam Neill Moustache TV BAFTA Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Love him, but not the ‘stache.

  7. Rosario Dawson Swimsuit Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Still pretty fucking hot

  8. Naomi Campbell Cleavage TV BAFTA Awards
    YadaYada
    Commented on this photo:

    Ageless beauty. What’s with these British women not aging (Liz Hurley)?

  9. Mischa Barton Huge Butt
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Kirstie Alley is calling and wants her ass back.

  10. Helena Bonham Carter Cleavage TV BAFTA Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s an odd one, but she seems genuine. She doesn’t have the Gagaesque try-hard vibe about her.

  11. Samuel L. Jackson
    Commented on this photo:

    Really, Samuel Jackson? I think you best look again

  12. Brooke Burke Charvet Cleavage Sports Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was Kate Moss at first. That is not a good sign.

  13. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Pants
    Voice of Reisling
    Commented on this photo:

    Of course in France, the Riot Police ‘shoot’ people with cameras.

  14. Mel Gibson Bring Back Our Girls Sign Kellan Lutz Antonio Banderas The Expendables 3 Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Bring them back, so a certain former movie idol can get loaded and smack them around,

  15. Viggo Mortensen Jauja Photo Call 67th Cannes Film Festival
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    What straight guy doesn’t love to play a round of “Yes, I saw his dick”?

  16. Rosario Dawson Swimsuit Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s the ghost of Dickenson past

  17. Micaela Schaefer Nipples See Through Lingerie 'Lieber Nackt Als Gar Keine Masche Book Promotion
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks slightly more human than usual here.

  18. Mel Gibson Bring Back Our Girls Sign Kellan Lutz Antonio Banderas The Expendables 3 Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Bring Back the Sugartits

  19. Busta Rhymes Fat Belly High As Shit Bodyguard
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see they’re selling BBQ Sauce in single serving bottles now.

  20. Mel Gibson Bring Back Our Girls Sign Kellan Lutz Antonio Banderas The Expendables 3 Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    that is fucking amazing.

  21. Adriana Lima Cleavage Legs Slit Dress The Homesman Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, ok

  22. Lena Dunham Striped Green Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m just happy she isn’t wearing shorts and I’m not staring at her pale, lumpy, ham hock thighs.

  23. Lena Dunham Striped Green Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Is anyone besides me old enough to remember Mason Reese? Lena looks just like him in this pic.

    http://www.avclub.com/article/terrifying-70s-child-star-mason-reese-posting-terr-201414

  24. Lena Dunham Striped Green Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    you ever see one of those fat girls that has a pretty face? This is not one of those girls.

  25. Taylor Swift Crazy Skinny Legs Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello legs.

  26. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Tick…tick…tick…

  27. Coco Butt Side Boob String Bikini Leg Stretch Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I still say a lighthouse would be more effective.

  28. Harrison Ford Kelsey Grammer Sylvester Stallone The Expendables 3 Photo Call Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Why did Sly stick is head in a pot of boiling water?

  29. Tori Spelling Chest Hole Of Death Son Liam
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know how much you get for being in a Lifetime movie, but she’s done enough of them to be able to afford to get that shit fixed.

  30. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin Daughter Carmen Hamptons
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well hey there, you stupid little pig faggot!”

  31. Samuel L. Jackson
    Commented on this photo:

    Now he is just sticking it in ‘the people who mistake him for Laurence Fishburn’s’ faces.

  32. Sofia Vergara Butt Bandage Dress Brad Pitt Annual Make It Right Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    The girl in the background just came.

  33. Naomi Campbell Cleavage TV BAFTA Awards
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    She has the gentle hands of someone who hasn’t beaten an underling with a cell phone in at least 3 weeks.

  34. Lena Dunham Striped Green Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hmmmmmm…what a nice car. I wonder what I would look like naked in it?”

  35. Kate Hudson Nipples Midriff
    Commented on this photo:

    35 year old moms shouldn’t really be walking around braless. I’m glad they do, however.

  36. Arnold Schwarzenegger Shirtless Filming With Ipad On Balcony Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, homos, my face is up here.”

  37. Mel Gibson Bring Back Our Girls Sign Kellan Lutz Antonio Banderas The Expendables 3 Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Good lord, I wish this was real.

  38. Lea Seydoux Cleavage Bitchface Saint Laurent Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Neat

  39. Kaley Cuoco Butt Riding Pants Horeseback Equestrian Tournament
    Commented on this photo:

    Lucky horse.

  40. Mischa Barton Huge Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t understand how she fluctuates so wildly – I swear that just a few weeks ago she seemed like she was trimming up and looking like someone who has a mirror in the home, but every few weeks she reverts back to this. How is that possible? Is she made of fucking putty?

  41. Chris Christie 2nd Annual Champions Of Jewish Values Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I had the nomination in the bag. Why did I have to fuck around with that stupid bridge?

  42. Robert Pattinson Surprised Face The Rover Premiere 67th Cannes Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’d like to personally thank the four people who will see this movie.”

  43. Adriana Lima Cleavage Legs Slit Dress The Homesman Premiere Cannes
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Her boobs increased since ditching the ball and chains!

  44. Lena Dunham Striped Green Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’d make a perfect wife for Mel Gibson. Don’t you?

  45. Harrison Ford Kelsey Grammer Sylvester Stallone The Expendables 3 Photo Call Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate the ones with Shemp.

  46. Busta Rhymes Fat Belly High As Shit Bodyguard
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet they both had to sit on opposite sides of the aisle from each other, otherwise the landing gear would snap from the weight of both of them on the same side.

  47. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin Daughter Carmen Hamptons
    Commented on this photo:

    “Cootchie cootchie coo, cunt!”

  48. Jason Statham Drunk High Gotha Club
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Thought this was Lil’ Jimmy Norton at first.

  49. Kelly Rowland Cleavage Legs Slit Dress Billlboard Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Her chest looks like Batman.

  50. Taylor Swift Crazy Skinny Legs Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    Needs butter.

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