Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which is bursting at the seams from a weekend full of hidden paparazzi gems. Gems like Goldie Hawn‘s timeless beauty, which applies to Brooke Shields as well. Big black microphones start to look small in Serena Williams‘ hands, Ryan Phillipe‘s dick becomes a divining rod, Simon Cowell gives side boob a shot, and Jeremy Renner hits up the Lakers game with Travolta‘s masseuse.
Remember when James Franco played James Dean? Because James Franco really wants you to remember when he played James Dean,
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“Why you guys keep introducin’ me as ‘broccoli head’?”
Michael Clark Duncan in character as Serena Williams.
“Look at the size of that noggin. It’s like an orange on a toothpick.”
“Let him cry himself to sleep on his huge pilla”
The look of a man who has no idea why he’s at a basketball game with Laverne.
I thought only poor people wore shoestring belts.
Next up: Robot impersonations!
He’s just there to “share the wealth.”
Thumbs down? Gee that’s right, they don’t share anything….
TOMMY LIKEY! ME WANT WINGEE!
‘Can I borrow your towel, my car hit a water buffalo…’
He might be straight…amazing.
straight homo.
Wow. Looks like it’ll be a really… fun… exciting… jubilant music festival. I can’t **yawn!** wait ’til Labor Day.
“I’m sorry, did you say “I can see your bunt?”
$10 says that sweatshirt cost him more than a flatsscreen TV, but all of us would expect to see it in Goodwill for $5.
Tao Beach? .A swimming pool in there desert isn’t a fucking beach, but it sure seems to attract the trim.
He really loves Earth. He rides a scooter to his Prius.
There’s some song about a kid having to grow up with a girly name like that, isn’t there? yeah… The son’ll come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar…
Who? cares!
Yllis Tnuc
I love this game! Where are the pebbles and acorns?
They still do ‘faux-hawks’ in South America?
Cute.
Wait ’til they discover the mullet!
South America? Get your geography right!
Wait ’til you discover a WORLD MAP!
if it ain’t ‘merica, who gives a shit?
no but seriously. fuck europe.
What an ignorant.
What a grammar.
What a humor.
It’s not a tumor!
You’re so…….. fucking dumb.
No wonder Adam Levine turned her down very bluntly and publically. He wanted to make sure she understood the word “NO.” No way, no where and no how!!!!
“Top Rat.”
“Just come around back and make it quick.”
He’s watching Wonder Woman’s jet while she’s in the portatoilet.
Roadkill raccoon impersonation.
At least this tennis racquet handle won’t slip out.
Please tell me Kanye isn’t invited.
the wrist bandage says, ‘I give handjobs’ but the lack of a man says ‘I don’t give head’.
“I’d like to nurse until I’m 10, like that kid on the cover of TIME.”
Who let the douche out?
Leona Helmsley still with us?!
No, that’s her dog.
“And one for my homies….”
Nice stumps.
I’m guessing her seat also leans back and has stirrups?
The front row is having deep regrets right about now.
dat ass.
This is Tan Mom from 5 years ago.
Attachment parenting works.
He’s finally perfect the art of peeing down a pant leg. Good for you, Kilmer.
The dumpster is calling you, Goldie.
Everyone gets hurt when they compete on “Dancing with the Stars”.
None more than the viewers.
Too funny…but “gets hurt” and “gets tortured by” are two totally different things.
A black jacket that says “Death Song” surrounded by smiley faces worn over a black hoodie? Why, that’s almost as ironic as wearing it while you’re riding a…. oh fuck, forget it.
Just when you have us hooked you do something like this JLH. Please do something about those tree trunks. A stationary recumbent bike works wonders.
Pippa?!?
Is that hair between her tits? She looks like a gorilla. Hairy, scarey bitch!!!!!
Pap: “Hey, Ryan… is it true your ex Reese is pregnant AGIN?!?”
Ryan: “I’m not saying anythiiiiing….!” ***whistles nonchalantly****
OK, this makes up for the Rihanna pictures.
So was Ted there? If not, does this mean he’s gonna be in jail by next week because they used the name of one of his songs without permission?
She stopped being attractive as soon as she grew out of her adolescent years. When she actually finished developing she just started looking masculine.
I hate when Mom wears whore heels in public.
Have you ever seen Wendy Williams and Aubrey O’Day in the same room at the same time?
BAAHAHAHAHAHA, you beat me to it!
Dezi: “Mommy, we learned about camels today!”
Jaime: “That’s nice, Dezi, but not right now. The nice men are trying to take mommy’s picture!’