The Crap We Missed – Monday 5.14.12

May 14th, 2012 // 683 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which is bursting at the seams from a weekend full of hidden paparazzi gems. Gems like Goldie Hawn‘s timeless beauty, which applies to Brooke Shields as well. Big black microphones start to look small in Serena Williams‘ hands, Ryan Phillipe‘s dick becomes a divining rod, Simon Cowell gives side boob a shot, and Jeremy Renner hits up the Lakers game with Travolta‘s masseuse.

Remember when James Franco played James Dean? Because James Franco really wants you to remember when he played James Dean,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Pauly D
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why you guys keep introducin’ me as ‘broccoli head’?”

  2. Serena Williams Trophy Madrid Open
    Commented on this photo:

    Michael Clark Duncan in character as Serena Williams.

  3. Simon Cowell Chest Hair Man Boobs Open Shirt
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look at the size of that noggin. It’s like an orange on a toothpick.”
    “Let him cry himself to sleep on his huge pilla”

  4. Jeremy Renner Penny Marshall
    Commented on this photo:

    The look of a man who has no idea why he’s at a basketball game with Laverne.

  5. Big Sean Sagging Pants Crotch Grab
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought only poor people wore shoestring belts.

  6. Jay-Z
    Commented on this photo:

    Next up: Robot impersonations!

  7. Jay-Z
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s just there to “share the wealth.”

  8. Dominique Storelli Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    TOMMY LIKEY! ME WANT WINGEE!

  9. Ian Somerhalder Nina Dobrev Legs Short Shorts
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He might be straight…amazing.

  10. Jay-Z
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. Looks like it’ll be a really… fun… exciting… jubilant music festival. I can’t **yawn!** wait ’til Labor Day.

  11. Rita Ora Panty Flash Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m sorry, did you say “I can see your bunt?”

  12. Anthony Kiedis Everly Bear Scooter
    Commented on this photo:

    $10 says that sweatshirt cost him more than a flatsscreen TV, but all of us would expect to see it in Goodwill for $5.

  13. Dominique Storelli Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Tao Beach? .A swimming pool in there desert isn’t a fucking beach, but it sure seems to attract the trim.

  14. Anthony Kiedis Everly Bear Scooter
    Commented on this photo:

    He really loves Earth. He rides a scooter to his Prius.

  15. Anthony Kiedis Everly Bear Scooter
    BlackAndWhite.Minstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s some song about a kid having to grow up with a girly name like that, isn’t there? yeah… The son’ll come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar…

  16. Rita Ora Panty Flash Upskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Who? cares!

  17. Holly Henderson Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I love this game! Where are the pebbles and acorns?

  18. Cristiano Ronaldo Feeds Irina Shayk Chocolate
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    They still do ‘faux-hawks’ in South America?
    Cute.
    Wait ’til they discover the mullet!

  19. Jennifer Love Hewitt Cellulite Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    No wonder Adam Levine turned her down very bluntly and publically. He wanted to make sure she understood the word “NO.” No way, no where and no how!!!!

  20. Val Kilmer
    Commented on this photo:

    “Top Rat.”

  21. Holly Henderson Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just come around back and make it quick.”

  22. Ryan Phillipe
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s watching Wonder Woman’s jet while she’s in the portatoilet.

  23. Ryan Phillipe
    Commented on this photo:

    Roadkill raccoon impersonation.

  24. Serena Williams Trophy Madrid Open
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    At least this tennis racquet handle won’t slip out.

  25. Jay-Z
    Commented on this photo:

    Please tell me Kanye isn’t invited.

  26. Jennifer Love Hewitt Cellulite Legs
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    the wrist bandage says, ‘I give handjobs’ but the lack of a man says ‘I don’t give head’.

  27. Jaime Pressly Legs Short Shorts Son Dezi
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’d like to nurse until I’m 10, like that kid on the cover of TIME.”

  28. Pauly D
    Commented on this photo:

    Who let the douche out?

  29. Brooke Shields
    phffft...
    Commented on this photo:

    Leona Helmsley still with us?!

  30. Big Sean Sagging Pants Crotch Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    “And one for my homies….”

  31. Jennifer Love Hewitt Cellulite Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice stumps.

  32. Rita Ora Panty Flash Upskirt
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing her seat also leans back and has stirrups?

  33. Big Sean Sagging Pants Crotch Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    The front row is having deep regrets right about now.

  34. Maria Menounos Bruises Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    dat ass.

  35. Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    This is Tan Mom from 5 years ago.

  36. Kiersten Warren Nipples Cleavage Tight Dress
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Attachment parenting works.

  37. Val Kilmer
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s finally perfect the art of peeing down a pant leg. Good for you, Kilmer.

  38. Goldie Hawn Nipples No Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    The dumpster is calling you, Goldie.

  39. Maria Menounos Bruises Legs Minidress
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone gets hurt when they compete on “Dancing with the Stars”.

  40. Anthony Kiedis Everly Bear Scooter
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    A black jacket that says “Death Song” surrounded by smiley faces worn over a black hoodie? Why, that’s almost as ironic as wearing it while you’re riding a…. oh fuck, forget it.

  41. Jennifer Love Hewitt Cellulite Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Just when you have us hooked you do something like this JLH. Please do something about those tree trunks. A stationary recumbent bike works wonders.

  42. Eva Longoria Butt Ass Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Pippa?!?

  43. Goldie Hawn Nipples No Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that hair between her tits? She looks like a gorilla. Hairy, scarey bitch!!!!!

  44. Ryan Phillipe
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Pap: “Hey, Ryan… is it true your ex Reese is pregnant AGIN?!?”
    Ryan: “I’m not saying anythiiiiing….!” ***whistles nonchalantly****

  45. Christina Hendricks Cleavage
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    OK, this makes up for the Rihanna pictures.

  46. Big Sean Sagging Pants Crotch Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    So was Ted there? If not, does this mean he’s gonna be in jail by next week because they used the name of one of his songs without permission?

  47. Brooke Shields
    Anon
    Commented on this photo:

    She stopped being attractive as soon as she grew out of her adolescent years. When she actually finished developing she just started looking masculine.

  48. Eva Longoria Butt Ass Jeans
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate when Mom wears whore heels in public.

  49. Aubrey O'Day Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Have you ever seen Wendy Williams and Aubrey O’Day in the same room at the same time?

  50. Jaime Pressly Legs Short Shorts Son Dezi
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Dezi: “Mommy, we learned about camels today!”
    Jaime: “That’s nice, Dezi, but not right now. The nice men are trying to take mommy’s picture!’

Leave A Comment