The Crap We Missed – Monday 5.14.12

May 14th, 2012 // 683 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which is bursting at the seams from a weekend full of hidden paparazzi gems. Gems like Goldie Hawn‘s timeless beauty, which applies to Brooke Shields as well. Big black microphones start to look small in Serena Williams‘ hands, Ryan Phillipe‘s dick becomes a divining rod, Simon Cowell gives side boob a shot, and Jeremy Renner hits up the Lakers game with Travolta‘s masseuse.

Remember when James Franco played James Dean? Because James Franco really wants you to remember when he played James Dean,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Maria Menounos Bruises Legs Minidress
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Settle down, there are lots of ways finger-shaped bruises can end up on a woman’s outer thigh. Okay, actually not that many. All fun, though.

  2. Jennifer Love Hewitt Cellulite Legs
    Jen
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel a strange urge to do lunges and squats. I think she should do some with me.

  3. Cristiano Ronaldo Feeds Irina Shayk Chocolate
    Commented on this photo:

    “All right, get it back as far as you can without gagging…relax your throat…r-e-l-a-x…okay, now, I’ll slowly slide it out—no! No teeth! This is what went wrong the last time!”

  4. Nicki Minaj Butt Underwear See Through Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, two Deena Cortese shots in one update is too much.

  5. Big Sean Sagging Pants Crotch Grab
    metoo
    Commented on this photo:

    He put the WANG in Wango Tango…

  6. Big Sean Sagging Pants Crotch Grab
    neo_v
    Commented on this photo:

    only in America is this guy getting paid to do this….

  7. Simon Cowell Chest Hair Man Boobs Open Shirt
    BlackAndWhite.Minstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    The inexplicable smugness of a man who turns dogs in to stars. Prepare to be dry humped, America!

  8. James Franco Rebel Mural
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s REPEL, stupid!

  9. Big Sean Sagging Pants Crotch Grab
    Commented on this photo:

    If he gets arrested I bet he pulls them up fast before they toss him in the cell.

  10. Val Kilmer
    Commented on this photo:

    How much was she?

  11. Eva Longoria Butt Ass Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Mexican Mariah Carey looks great!

  12. Kiersten Warren Nipples Cleavage Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to spend a little more time in the sun.

  13. Brooke Shields
    elliotspitzer
    Commented on this photo:

    Oi vey. Never thought there would come a day when the words “Brooke Shields” and “tranny” would be in the same thought bubble.

  14. Snooki Baby Bump Legs Short Shorts
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    She has that pregnant glow about her. Plus, all sixteen of her nipples are engorged.

  15. Goldie Hawn Nipples No Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Calista Flockhart finally put on some weight.

  16. James Franco Rebel Mural
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s so rebellious, he wrote the ‘L’ in cursive while the rest is in print! “GOD, he’s an artistic genius!” he imagines people are saying right now.

  17. Christina Hendricks Cleavage
    Boing
    Commented on this photo:

    meh.

  18. Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    See there are drawbacks to those huge sunglasses.

  19. Goldie Hawn Nipples No Bra Yoga Pants
    metoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Barty Crouch Jr.

  20. Katherine Heigl Midriff Sports Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    The would be the few and far between times when I say NO to yoga pants.

  21. Eva Longoria Butt Ass Jeans
    Boing
    Commented on this photo:

    so frumpy.

  22. Jay-Z
    Commented on this photo:

    Mac Daddy?? he’s looking more like a McDaddy.

  23. Brooke Shields
    metoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry”…

  24. Jennifer Love Hewitt Cellulite Legs
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    This is how she rests her body between bandage dress encasings/removals.
    Someone should tell her not to go out into the sunshine during these breaks.

  25. Christina Hendricks Cleavage
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    One up boob, one down boob.

  26. James Franco Rebel Mural
    Commented on this photo:

    James Franco is seen here in front of a giant “Robel” to promote his new role as the Hamburglar.

  27. Jeremy Renner Penny Marshall
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, one movie he’s a jacked superhero, and the next, he’s pulling off an effeminate Frenchman just as well. What’s that? This isn’t a movie?

  28. Cristiano Ronaldo Feeds Irina Shayk Chocolate
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    The ever present douchebag and hotchick, captured at the very moment when rage and envy collide.

  29. Eva Longoria Butt Ass Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like tines a BBQ fork.

  30. James Franco Rebel Mural
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess rebel and douche are interchangeable now.

  31. Eva Longoria Butt Ass Jeans
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    I believe this is actually the porn start, Eva Dong-Whoria.
    Honest mistake though.

  32. Simon Cowell Chest Hair Man Boobs Open Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    After seeing Christina Hendricks showed up, Simon opened up his shirt to let the puppies play.

  33. Simon Cowell Chest Hair Man Boobs Open Shirt
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope this doesn’t happen to Christina Hendricks’ cleavage when she goes through menopause.

  34. Eva Longoria Butt Ass Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Her next role is a street walker?

  35. Christina Hendricks Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmm. Ginger.

  36. Christina Hendricks Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Gingery

  37. Kiersten Warren Nipples Cleavage Tight Dress
    metoo
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear those are my grandma’s legs – she’s 85.

  38. Serena Williams Trophy Madrid Open
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Gleefully reminded of her workouts with her shake-weights at home.

  39. James Franco Rebel Mural
    Commented on this photo:

    It should say “dumbbell” Not pictured dumb and the missing l.

  40. James Franco Rebel Mural
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t decide who looks more homeless, him or John Meyer.

  41. Holly Henderson Cleavage
    Boing
    Commented on this photo:

    who?

  42. Simon Cowell Chest Hair Man Boobs Open Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do his shirts even bother with buttons?

  43. Serena Williams Trophy Madrid Open
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ha, ha, ha, ha this new dildo tickles for hours.”

  44. Serena Williams Trophy Madrid Open
    Commented on this photo:

    “You call these anatomically correct, John McEnroe?”

  45. Jay-Z
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thanks, dawg and dawgettes. And now, a musical tribute to Judy Garland . . .”

  46. Jeremy Renner Penny Marshall
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Attractive people.

  47. Serena Williams Trophy Madrid Open
    Commented on this photo:

    That reminds me. I need to schedule a colonoscopy.

  48. Jeremy Renner Penny Marshall
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see Laverne’s still hanging out with Lenny and Squiggy.
    Time has not been kind, though…

  49. Jeremy Renner Penny Marshall
    Commented on this photo:

    “I think she just peed in your cup dude.”

  50. Jeremy Renner Penny Marshall
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank God she’s wearing shorts. And her arm is covering the up-shorts shot.

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