The Crap We Missed – Monday 4.21.14

April 21st, 2014 // 384 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’ll be straight with you guys, and just tell you half of this thing is more Coachella. Because if there’s one thing rich cockholes need its TWO full weekends of acting high in VIP areas and finding inventive new ways to display your ass wares to the masses. Away from fake music festivals, we’ve got Sarah Jessica Parker taking Selena Gomez under her hoof wing, and Denise Richards looking about ten pounds away from Karen Carpentering herself, which honestly would still leave her more qualified to parent than Charlie Sheen.

What? I listen to that Christmas album every year, I’m allowed to make that joke,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Tommy Lee Cracked Out Coachella
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that his dick hanging out of his pants? If so, looks like he keeps it dirty for trolling Kardashians.

  2. Coco Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be tough for Ice-T to have a sex life where mud slides are a legitimate concern.

  3. Shay Mitchell Cleavage Butt Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Must be a lot of owls at Coachella going Who? Who?

  4. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Jeans Heels
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok photo boy, its going to take several ass picks to make up for this one.

  5. Kim Kardashian Huge Fat Ass
    ben dover
    Commented on this photo:

    there be whales

  6. Kim Kardashian Huge Fat Ass
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    That was an entire parking space before photoshop was used.

  7. Kelly Bensimon Bikini
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Whereas Buffalo Bill fattened them up, Bruce starved them.

  8. Victoria Justice Cleavage Sister Madison Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    This sex tape needs to happen.

  9. Rihanna Cleavage Pot Leaf Nipple Pasties Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Two words… vagina armpit.

  10. Lauren Stoner Butt Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d give her something to smoke. On 4/20 or any other day.

  11. Kim Kardashian Huge Fat Ass
    Commented on this photo:

    “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.”

  12. Bruce Jenner Ponytail Pulled Through Hat Womens Flare Leg Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    How has he not started dating Samantha Ronsen ?

  13. Selena Gomez Butt Tight Jeans Petting Horse
    Commented on this photo:

    They cast *her* in the Catherine the Great biopic?

  14. Antonio Banderas Holy Week Procession Seville Spain
    Commented on this photo:

    The Holy Week procession of what?

  15. Kelly Bensimon Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez, is there anything Steven Tyler WON’T wear ?

  16. Carrie Minter Cleavage Blow Job Face
    Commented on this photo:

    You will never best Carol Burnett, madam.

  17. Rory Culkin Crazy Eyes Long Hair Gabrial Premiere Tribeca Film Festival
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Apparently Bruce Jenner is not the only one of his kind.

  18. Mel B Butt Picking Wedgie
    littletongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Self-wedgie! Yeah! Happy day!

  19. Phoebe Price Cleavage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes—that’s how many I see!

  20. Mel B Butt Picking Wedgie
    Commented on this photo:

    The B stands for bashful.

  21. Daniel Radcliffe Sarah Greene The Cripple of Inishmaan Opening Night After Party
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Sarah: “Daniel, I am going to take you back to your hotel room, strip you naked, and lick you from head to toe before taking your engorged penis in 2 of the 3 orifices of your choice.”

    Daniel: “Dis how asexual look.”

  22. Jaden Smith Floppy Hat Kylie Jenner Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, Jaden. Like, rhinestone studded butt packs are totally the new thing. And this one isn’t like any other one you can get because it is made with genuine, authentic Ghanian rhinestones and hand sewn by 80 year old women in the Republic of Congo. This is one of only 12 in the world. And it’s totally true because the guy who sold it to Uncle Kanye totally gave him a certificate of authenticity. Kind of surprised a guy like you didn’t know about this, Jaden. Maybe we shouldn’t hang out for a while.”

  23. Kim Kardashian Huge Fat Ass
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why isn’t it opening? I have the key right here. Is it broken?”

  24. Paris Hilton Leather Underwear See Through Cover Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    NO! BAD! BAD INTERNET! We are not letting her become a thing again. Get out in the backyard!

  25. Mel B Butt Picking Wedgie
    Commented on this photo:

    Emma Stone saw this and passed out.

  26. Kelly Bensimon Bikini
    littletongue
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is that, between her boobs?

  27. Kiefer Sutherland Leaning On Fan
    Commented on this photo:

    “Still drunk!”

  28. Larry King Driving Wife Shawn King Birdshit On Windshield
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, he’s sucking the life force out of her.

  29. Kate Walsh Legs Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    the milfiest non-mommy in Hollywood.

  30. Jaden Smith Floppy Hat Kylie Jenner Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    ksmack
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn girl–you right! It is eye-opening to see how accessorizing too much can kill a look. Glad all I wore was this coordinated black leather pants with floppy hat today. But tomorrow…can i borrow that eagle feather fringe collar with beaded tassel bib? Thanks girl.

  31. Bella Thorne Buttcheeks Daisy Dukes Tristan Klier Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    I have kids. I am stuck watching this stuff enough to know that Bella Thorne isn’t even the 14th best looking chick on this channel. The Disney PR machine must have deep pockets for all the publicity this girl gets.

  32. Phoebe Price Cleavage Coachella
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a decent strategy, cover up the head and let the cleavage do the talking.

  33. Coco Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    The fact that this woman gets attention helps explain why only 21% of this country believes in the big bang theory (not the stupid TV show).

  34. Coco Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I think the fabric pattern was probably just simple vertical stripes before she pulled it on.

  35. Jordin Sparks Bikini Jason Derulo Hosting TAO Beach Grand Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    The fact that it’s 4:15 pm PST and not a single person has commented on this photo pretty much sums up the current state of Jordin Sparks’ career.

  36. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    heywood Jablomie
    Commented on this photo:

    Chain & Cement blocks please.

  37. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Jeans Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s Maria Menounos for Bumpits! If you’re one of the first 100 callers, we’ll double your order! Just pay separate shipping and handling.

  38. Daniel Radcliffe Sarah Greene The Cripple of Inishmaan Opening Night After Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “It will be $500 for a half and half” ”

    “Umm, okay”

  39. Rihanna Cleavage Pot Leaf Nipple Pasties Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m tired of her tits.

    There. I’ve said it.

    Now the healing can begin.

  40. Mel B Butt Picking Wedgie
    MoreMariaNow!!
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahhh finally got that piece of corn out of my teeth. lol

  41. Rihanna Cleavage Pot Leaf Nipple Pasties Instagram
    alexxx3488
    Commented on this photo:

    Dis be how a duck look, yo.

  42. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots
    Yabbo
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s probably his Mercedes.

  43. Mel B Butt Picking Wedgie
    Commented on this photo:

    a fake rock is so the 90′s..

  44. Rihanna Cleavage Pot Leaf Nipple Pasties Instagram
    Max
    Commented on this photo:

    Why am I craving maple syrup?

  45. Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    That works.

  46. Lauren Stoner Butt Thong Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d gnaw on them buns

  47. Coco Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh what the Jesus-Christ-He-Is-Resurrected-fucking-shit is that?

  48. Rory Culkin Crazy Eyes Long Hair Gabrial Premiere Tribeca Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow Tiny Tim looks great!

  49. Gwen Stefani Bra Open Denim Jumpsuit
    Jentilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Woah when did she have her baby?

  50. Rory Culkin Crazy Eyes Long Hair Gabrial Premiere Tribeca Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Introducing the star of Anne Rice’s next best seller: The Vampire Lester.

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