The Crap We Missed – Monday 4.21.14

April 21st, 2014 // 384 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’ll be straight with you guys, and just tell you half of this thing is more Coachella. Because if there’s one thing rich cockholes need its TWO full weekends of acting high in VIP areas and finding inventive new ways to display your ass wares to the masses. Away from fake music festivals, we’ve got Sarah Jessica Parker taking Selena Gomez under her hoof wing, and Denise Richards looking about ten pounds away from Karen Carpentering herself, which honestly would still leave her more qualified to parent than Charlie Sheen.

What? I listen to that Christmas album every year, I’m allowed to make that joke,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Selena Gomez Butt Tight Jeans Petting Horse
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hmmm, when Justin said he was hung like a horse, he must have meant a seahorse.”

  2. Victoria Justice Cleavage Sister Madison Coachella
    Tom
    Commented on this photo:

    Would do.

  3. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, if those pant’s could talk…well they’d probably just sob nonstop and occasionally mutter “burn me”.

  4. Daniel Radcliffe Sarah Greene The Cripple of Inishmaan Opening Night After Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “Daniel, is that a cock in your throat?”

    “Yes! Damn it!’

  5. Selena Gomez Butt Tight Jeans Petting Horse
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Her CL posting must have read: Black haired beauty looking for black beauty’s BBC…put in subject line ‘suck it beibs’.

  6. Denise Richards Skinny Cleavage Down Blouse
    Commented on this photo:

    The judge should really give her all of Charlie’s money, God knows she deserves it.

  7. Carrie Minter Cleavage Blow Job Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Right this way, ma’am.

  8. Rory Culkin Crazy Eyes Long Hair Gabrial Premiere Tribeca Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    When did Paula Poundstone lose the tie?

  9. Kendall Jenner Butt Spandex Pants Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    yesssssss

  10. Mel B Butt Picking Wedgie
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Christ, how far back does she have to tuck it?

  11. Carrie Minter Cleavage Blow Job Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Slightly overinflated.

  12. Selena Gomez Butt Tight Jeans Petting Horse
    kravdan
    Commented on this photo:

    Selena Gomez on set with Sarah Jessica Parker for Sex in the City 3.

  13. Antonio Banderas Holy Week Procession Seville Spain
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr. Bean?

  14. Tommy Lee Cracked Out Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeez, Tommy, what Hep are you up to now?

  15. Larry King Driving Wife Shawn King Birdshit On Windshield
    kravdan
    Commented on this photo:

    Larry made a boom boom!
    Just keep smiling he has to die soon…

  16. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots
    Shia
    Commented on this photo:

    “I said not in the face!”

  17. Vanessa Hudgens Midriff Ripped Abs Legs Daisy Dukes Glowsticks Coachella
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t know about you guys but I’m going to cut her some slack. Pretty sure this will be her high point for the year.

  18. Jaden Smith Floppy Hat Kylie Jenner Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mmm, mmm! I gots to get me some of that! Yes, that is one sweet fanny pack. Its a purse that a dude can wear too!”

  19. Kelly Bensimon Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, Bruce really gets around. Cali in the morning, Florida in the afternoon…

  20. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Instagram
    M'Thayne
    Commented on this photo:

    She photoshopped out the trail of bubbles.

  21. Rory Culkin Crazy Eyes Long Hair Gabrial Premiere Tribeca Film Festival
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    lolz

  22. Paris Hilton Leather Underwear See Through Cover Coachella
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    Just when you think Coachella can’t get any sleeeezier…

  23. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Labia Lingerie Instagram
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Slowly but surely, the slide towards porn is happening. Just be patient, penis, just be patient.

  24. Rory Culkin Crazy Eyes Long Hair Gabrial Premiere Tribeca Film Festival
    Carson Kressley
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know “paralyzed from the neck down” was a fashion look.

  25. Gwen Stefani Bra Open Denim Jumpsuit
    Qmak
    Commented on this photo:

    “Cable guy!!!”

  26. Jaden Smith Floppy Hat Kylie Jenner Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    The Lame Prince of Coachella

  27. Jaden Smith Floppy Hat Kylie Jenner Legs Daisy Dukes Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    “Douche Bag and the Enema” coming to a Theater near You!

  28. Kate Walsh Legs Daisy Dukes
    Weather Channel
    Commented on this photo:

    Thunder is rare in Beverly Hills.

  29. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    One wonders how many personal assistants it took combing the streets and homeless shelters before they found one with pants and shirt in Shia’s size.

  30. Alice Cooper Super Duper Alice Cooper Premiere Tribeca Film Festival
    Karen
    Commented on this photo:

    During his show he bit the head off a Viagra bottle (damn child-proof caps…).

  31. Mel B Butt Picking Wedgie
    Commented on this photo:

    That duct tape must really pulling on those pube hairs.

  32. Heidi Klum Bra See Through Shirt
    Mr. Sensitive
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s just not the same without the bare age-ravaged stomach.

  33. Larry King Driving Wife Shawn King Birdshit On Windshield
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damn newfangled horseless carriage! What does these letters PRNDL spell? That’s not even a real word!”

  34. Coco Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    The wife of Ice-T: Nas-T.

  35. Daniel Radcliffe Sarah Greene The Cripple of Inishmaan Opening Night After Party
    S. Greene
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did he just say ‘Do you have any idea how much that stings’?”

  36. Paris Hilton Leather Underwear See Through Cover Coachella
    Dr. Oz
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s calling it an outfit but most of it grew directly out of the core of the infection.

  37. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Will he just go eat a toilet sandwich, and get botulism .

  38. Kendall Jenner Butt Spandex Pants Coachella
    DaKBro
    Commented on this photo:

    Keeping up the family tradition…she’s back dating the black football player from ASU.

  39. Kelly Bensimon Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    You can barely see the Adam’s apple now.

  40. Kim Kardashian Huge Fat Ass
    A. Wintour
    Commented on this photo:

    It just screams “Vogue.”

  41. Kiefer Sutherland Leaning On Fan
    byron821
    Commented on this photo:

    “CHLOEY TAKE THE SHOT NOWWWWW”!!!!

  42. Rihanna Cleavage Pot Leaf Nipple Pasties Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    So is she wearing a maple leaf on her boobs because she is dating Drake or is that supposed to be a marijuana leaf because she is a pothead? Either way I guess it is just another day in the life of Rihanna screaming for attention.

  43. Victoria Justice Cleavage Sister Madison Coachella
    byron821
    Commented on this photo:

    Would definitely do them justice.

  44. Bruce Jenner Ponytail Pulled Through Hat Womens Flare Leg Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t realize it was flooding in Malibu.

  45. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Good news for Shia is that he is already prepared to be a homeless hobo….

  46. Shia LaBeouf Dirty Clothes Skinny Pants Tucked Into Combat Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if he just puts that outfit on each time he heads out the door. Then he gets back home, throws on a pair of Dockers and a nice shirt and just laughs and laughs at his cleverness.

  47. Larry King Driving Wife Shawn King Birdshit On Windshield
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought it must be Tippi Hedren.

  48. Rory Culkin Crazy Eyes Long Hair Gabrial Premiere Tribeca Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s like a living, breathing Diane Arbus photo.

  49. Alice Cooper Super Duper Alice Cooper Premiere Tribeca Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    It just suck to be 84 years old and having to sit around at the hair salon waiting for the dye to set.

  50. Dita Von Teese Cleavage Coachella
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the best Wynona Ryder never looked.

Leave A Comment