The Crap We Missed – Monday 4.21.14

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’ll be straight with you guys, and just tell you half of this thing is more Coachella. Because if there’s one thing rich cockholes need its TWO full weekends of acting high in VIP areas and finding inventive new ways to display your ass wares to the masses. Away from fake music festivals, we’ve got Sarah Jessica Parker taking Selena Gomez under her hoof wing, and Denise Richards looking about ten pounds away from Karen Carpentering herself, which honestly would still leave her more qualified to parent than Charlie Sheen.

What? I listen to that Christmas album every year, I’m allowed to make that joke,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN