The Crap We Missed – Monday 4.14.14

April 14th, 2014 // 439 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which you’ll find is free of anything Coachella-related, because if I have to look at one more picture of a rich asshole wearing a bowler hat and glow jewelry, I might actually kill myself. Instead I focused this gallery on our true passions like Jerry Lewis looking like goddamn Bernie and/or Lindsay Lohan‘s London benefactor showing a possible suitor exactly what his money will buy him.

“Nevermind her corpse hand, ol’ chap, for fifty euros she’ll blow you so hard you won’t even care when she steals your car.” – Actual quote

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Rita Ora Cleavage Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    Sexy lady.

  2. Jerry Lewis Barely Able To Stand Hand And Footprint Ceremony
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Notice the handprints were done prior to the hand in the hair.

  3. Natasha Henstridge Fat Weight Gain Cleavage 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    How about a reboot of the “Species” franchise? She didn’t have those the first time around.

  4. Mischa Barton Nipples No Bra Fat Gut See Through Shirt LAX
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice gut.

  5. Natalie Dormer Butt Yoga Pants Virgin London Marathon
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    TIL there is a different between thin and toned.

  6. Katie Holmes Nipples No Underwear Clingy Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Where did her tits go? I blame Suri.

  7. Billy Ray Cyrus Middle Finger 7-11
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    He should thank god every second of every day that someone wants to take his picture…rather than screaming at him to make the fries. Here’s a hint Billy Ray – the fry guy has more tangible skills.

    • You think this dumb redneck is capable of any sort of reasoning beyond a 3rd grade level? No. Pretty hard when, like the entire southern US, your IQ is effectively zero.

  8. Kenny G Balding Receeding Hairline
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s hard to dislike this guy…especially given the stream of shit that was directed at him for years for really no good reason.

    Drive on KG. Live large on those sweet sweet easy listening residuals.

  9. Mischa Barton Nipples No Bra Fat Gut See Through Shirt LAX
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a puffy or a pasty? – Me

    Pastry? WHERE? – Her

  10. Coco Huge Ass Tight Jeans High Kick Friend Licking Heel Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes! Give Coco room to stretch.

  11. Ryan Sweeting Kaley Cuoco Squatting On Sidewalk
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet he gets a lot of space. Like every time she blinks her eyes. That moment is all his.

  12. Courtney Love John Varvatos 11th Annual Stuart House Benefit
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    I would not touch her wearing a bio hazard level 4 safety suit.

  13. Jennifer Lopez Huge Butt Tight Dress 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey everybody…remember my ass? Remember that one time I wore that green dress? Let’s get back there…and forget what a raging entitled bitch I am. Like now motherfuckers or you are all fucking fired!

  14. Kathleen Turner Thick Body The Olivier Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was a still from The Man With Two Brains for a minute.

  15. Natasha Henstridge Fat Weight Gain Cleavage 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she put on some pounds, but whatever. She always struck me as a cool chick, so that buys you at least 20 extra.

  16. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong Giant Balloon
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t tell me that Jack in the Box is taking advertising cues from that 187 water junk.

  17. Kim Kardashian Cleavage
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Words have not yet been invented to convey my disgust for this waste of flesh. They may need to craft an entirely new alphabet from which such words could be constructed. Perhaps a whore-based version of Sanskrit with all substance and depth removed.

  18. Katie Holmes Nipples No Underwear Clingy Dress
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    No snark from me. She has been subjected to enough punishment from Xenu and his drones. Stay free Katie.

  19. Joanna Krupa Bikini Side Boob Instagram
    Ca$twgfd
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she the one with the stinky pussy?

  20. Sarah Jessica Parker Nipples No Bra Son James Torn Jeans
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Out with your son with no bra. Very classy.

  21. Reese Witherspoon Butt Legs Short Jogging Shorts
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus this chick works out a lot. I find that dedication hard to ridicule. Good for her.

  22. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong Giant Balloon
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at me! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!

  23. Guy Fieri Drooling Over Womans Burger Pebble Beach Food And Wine Event
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    This moron is wealthy beyond your imagination. Think about that.

    You will never go broke catering to American’s stupidity, laziness, and/or gluttony.

  24. Meghan McCain Cleavage 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Hugh. G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s packing a few dozen extra pounds, but she’s still hotter than Kim or Khloe.

  25. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    I am pretty sure that she walks backwards in most public settings.

  26. Jerry Lewis Barely Able To Stand Hand And Footprint Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone should have warned Jerry, Sinatra has a real long memory.

  27. Mickey Rourke Crotch Bulge Spandex Bike Shorts Skinny Legs
    capn obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, that’s a good look.

  28. Kim Kardashian Cleavage
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Two seconds after the picture was taken, she turned suddenly and the car alarm went off.

  29. Guy Fieri Drooling Over Womans Burger Pebble Beach Food And Wine Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “The special sauce is just semen.”

  30. Jerry Lewis Barely Able To Stand Hand And Footprint Ceremony
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    After this, they returned him to the wax museum next door

  31. Sarah Jessica Parker Nipples No Bra Son James Torn Jeans
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Mom, is it cold out?

  32. Guy Fieri Drooling Over Womans Burger Pebble Beach Food And Wine Event
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can you taste the ‘Donkey sauce?’”

  33. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong Giant Balloon
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    I like Claudia’s smile better.

  34. Jamie Foxx Sticking Out Tongue At Cell Phone
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, I have that same sweater

  35. Kathleen Turner Thick Body The Olivier Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t miss the new film from Lawrence Kasdan, “Body Fat” the follow up to his acclaimed neo-noir thriller “Body Heat”

  36. Kathleen Turner Thick Body The Olivier Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t miss the new film from Lawrence Kasdan, “Body Fat” the follow up to his acclaimed neo-noir thriller “Body Heat.”

  37. Courtney Love John Varvatos 11th Annual Stuart House Benefit
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought that was Goldie Hawn.

    (Shiver)

  38. Guy Fieri Drooling Over Womans Burger Pebble Beach Food And Wine Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Malicious delicious, right? Wait till you wash it down with some my Donkey Punch! POW!”

  39. Taylor Swift Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Sucks when crazy has great legs.

  40. Natalie Dormer Butt Yoga Pants Virgin London Marathon
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Well of course she’s smiling and running a marathon, her newest husband was just [redacted] by way of [redacted] and everyone thinks it was done by [redacted].

    • Clearly, [redacted] didn’t [redacted] [redacted]. The [redacted] he gave [redacted] likely had the [redacted] already in it before [redacted] even [redacted] the [redacted]. I think it was [redacted] as [redacted] had the most to gain from [redacted] [redacted].

  41. Pope Francis Kissing Child Being Held Up By Security Detail Palm Sunday Mass
    Commented on this photo:

    “Smells like…Victory”

  42. Sarah Jessica Parker Nipples No Bra Son James Torn Jeans
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    What a cute little colt.

  43. Sarah Jessica Parker Nipples No Bra Son James Torn Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    it’s obviously a bit chilly out there, careful girl or you will end up a little ho(a)rse…

  44. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Hugh Evers
    Commented on this photo:

    She should raffle that thing for charity.

  45. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong Giant Balloon
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! She has a famous boyfriend too!

  46. Mickey Rourke Crotch Bulge Spandex Bike Shorts Skinny Legs
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    …what can we do to get mickey rourke, nick nolte, helena bonham carter, and lori petty all in the same place at the same time, because THAT is a photo i’d cherish forever.

  47. Joanna Krupa Bikini Side Boob Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d hit the stink.

  48. Steven Van Zandt Eating
    Johnny Barbells
    Commented on this photo:

    …so, restaurants are serving brains now?

  49. Natalie Dormer Butt Yoga Pants Virgin London Marathon
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a real ass, Chewbacca!

  50. Guy Fieri Drooling Over Womans Burger Pebble Beach Food And Wine Event
    cajunhawk
    Commented on this photo:

    I own a Hummer…

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