The Crap We Missed – Monday 4.14.14

April 14th, 2014 // 439 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which you’ll find is free of anything Coachella-related, because if I have to look at one more picture of a rich asshole wearing a bowler hat and glow jewelry, I might actually kill myself. Instead I focused this gallery on our true passions like Jerry Lewis looking like goddamn Bernie and/or Lindsay Lohan‘s London benefactor showing a possible suitor exactly what his money will buy him.

“Nevermind her corpse hand, ol’ chap, for fifty euros she’ll blow you so hard you won’t even care when she steals your car.” – Actual quote

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Pope Francis Kissing Child Being Held Up By Security Detail Palm Sunday Mass
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sorry, a little too old for me.”

  2. Taylor Swift Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    I read her stupid list of demands she wants from her next boyfriend. It was hilariously naive. The kind of shit only someone that young could come up with.

    Watch her abandon that list and hook up with the next guy that shows interest in her. Those albums don’t write themselves, you know.

  3. Kathleen Turner Thick Body The Olivier Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I like my women thick, but c’mon.

  4. Billy Ray Cyrus Middle Finger 7-11
    Commented on this photo:

    Billy Ray – how many hits did you have?

  5. Kathleen Turner Thick Body The Olivier Awards
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she inhaled another woman.

  6. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong Giant Balloon
    Commented on this photo:

    I agree with the balloon

  7. Katherine Heigl Bitching At Her Mother
    Commented on this photo:

    When you write those captions, you need to point out, Katherine Heigl (left) with her mother (right), in New York City.

  8. Steven Van Zandt Eating
    Commented on this photo:

    What are his temples swollen like that? Look at both sides of his head. What are those bumps? I ask because it happened to me a few weeks ago after I got a haircut. I didn’t hurt, I noticed it when I looked in the mirror.

    McBeef, help me out here.

  9. Sarah Jessica Parker Nipples No Bra Son James Torn Jeans
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonder what she has in her saddlebag.

  10. Jennifer Lopez Huge Butt Tight Dress 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    GLAAD I wasn’t there.

  11. Kim Kardashian Cleavage
    Water
    Commented on this photo:

    Moooooo

  12. Courtney Love John Varvatos 11th Annual Stuart House Benefit
    Commented on this photo:

    Is John a member of a marching band?

  13. Jerry Lewis Barely Able To Stand Hand And Footprint Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, unfunny, LAAAAAAAAAAADY!”

  14. Shaquille ONeal Peeking Over Yann Herrmann Shoulder Menswear Collection Launch Macys
    Don Draper's Dad
    Commented on this photo:

    Dane Cook?

  15. Sandra Vidal Cleavage 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    You can’t have a nipple slip if you don’t have nipples.

  16. Natalie Dormer Butt Yoga Pants Virgin London Marathon
    Commented on this photo:

    Some squats are required. Always do your legwork when you hit the gym, ladies.

  17. Guy Fieri Drooling Over Womans Burger Pebble Beach Food And Wine Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s a protip from your friendly neighborhood Uncle Phil: If a chef is wearing a chef jacket made of denim and leather, they are posers and should be mocked at every opportunity.

  18. Katherine Heigl Bitching At Her Mother
    littletongue
    Commented on this photo:

    “Quit touching yourself in public, mom, it’s not sanitary.“

  19. Kathleen Turner Thick Body The Olivier Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Time is a motherfucker.

  20. Sarah Jessica Parker Nipples No Bra Son James Torn Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    SJP with her son, James. Or as she refers to him, “My little pony.”

  21. Mickey Rourke Crotch Bulge Spandex Bike Shorts Skinny Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Mickey Dork

  22. Mickey Rourke Crotch Bulge Spandex Bike Shorts Skinny Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes even Doctor Octopus just wants to run to the store.

  23. Billy Ray Cyrus Middle Finger 7-11
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t give an Achy Breaky Fuck about this guy. I want Miley.

  24. Steven Van Zandt Eating
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a dog on your lap, or are you just happy to see me?

  25. Steven Van Zandt Eating
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s eating a puppy?!

  26. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong Giant Balloon
    Commented on this photo:

    Airhead jokes in 5,4,3…

  27. Ashley Benson Bikini Coachella Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Friend is hotter. Got an Emmy Rossum vibe going on.

  28. Kathleen Turner Thick Body The Olivier Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I’ll break out my copy of “Romancing the Stone” and see if I can still masturbate to her.

  29. Kendra Wilkinson Nipples Huge Pregnant Belly
    Inky Black
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, that middle tit is MASSIVE!

  30. Sarah Jessica Parker Nipples No Bra Son James Torn Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come on James we got to get to the feed store there having a two for one on hay bales.”

  31. Billy Ray Cyrus Middle Finger 7-11
    Commented on this photo:

    NO Billy Ray FUCK YOU!

  32. Katherine Heigl Bitching At Her Mother
    Commented on this photo:

    Is her mom the only one that can stand her? Bc that is the only person you ever see her with. Not her kids, not her husband. Her mom.

  33. Katherine Heigl Bitching At Her Mother
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let’s see how many auditions you cost me today?”

  34. Shaquille ONeal Peeking Over Yann Herrmann Shoulder Menswear Collection Launch Macys
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hmmmmmm…I don’t remember authorizing production on a shoe that small…”

  35. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    She knows…

  36. Kenny G Balding Receeding Hairline
    Commented on this photo:

    Gawd i wanna straight iron the shit outta that.

  37. Katherine Heigl Bitching At Her Mother
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know Katherine Heigl’s mom was Carol Burnette.

  38. Kim Kardashian Cleavage
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Pigs in Paris

  39. Khloe Kardashian Huge Giant Ass Tight Jeans Kourntey Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    I could break concrete blocks on that Sasquatch ass.

  40. Joanna Krupa Bikini Side Boob Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    It burns her that Emily Ratakowski gets so much attention and that she is at the tail end of her hotty career.

  41. Kenny G Balding Receeding Hairline
    Commented on this photo:

    I like his music from the 90s. It’s soothing.

  42. Meghan McCain Cleavage 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Does GOP now stand for giant old pussy??!!

  43. Sarah Jessica Parker Nipples No Bra Son James Torn Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Bronie. Ha!

  44. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong Giant Balloon
    Chaz
    Commented on this photo:

    Not more than 2 seconds ago, that was a sympathy balloon.

  45. Jennifer Lopez Huge Butt Tight Dress 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Unfortunately, despite the designer’s promises, the spider veins DID show through the sheer material when photographed with a flash.

  46. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Perfection!

  47. Sarah Jessica Parker Nipples No Bra Son James Torn Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom, why canter I get a new pair of pants?”

    “Whoa! What did you just say?”

  48. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini Thong Giant Balloon
    Chaz
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey balloon, I told you to always bring your sunglasses to the beach.

  49. Ryan Sweeting Kaley Cuoco Squatting On Sidewalk
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ah. The old “your shoelaces are untied” trick. You just earned 4 hours in the basement.”

  50. Kendra Wilkinson Nipples Huge Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Kendra wears her Herpes shirt as a warning to others…

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