The Crap We Missed – Monday 4.14.14

April 14th, 2014 // 439 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which you’ll find is free of anything Coachella-related, because if I have to look at one more picture of a rich asshole wearing a bowler hat and glow jewelry, I might actually kill myself. Instead I focused this gallery on our true passions like Jerry Lewis looking like goddamn Bernie and/or Lindsay Lohan‘s London benefactor showing a possible suitor exactly what his money will buy him.

“Nevermind her corpse hand, ol’ chap, for fifty euros she’ll blow you so hard you won’t even care when she steals your car.” – Actual quote

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Joanna Krupa Bikini Side Boob Instagram
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoever paid for those implants must certainly feel as if they’ve gotten their money’s worth out of ‘em.

    • Gin&Tonic

      They’re f’ing fantastic aint they? The only way you can tell they’re fake is that real tits would be in her armpit in this pose, otherwise they look perfectly bouncy-squishy.

  2. Guy Fieri Drooling Over Womans Burger Pebble Beach Food And Wine Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Slamma JAMMA that’s a big clamma!!

  3. Jerry Lewis Barely Able To Stand Hand And Footprint Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    About time!

  4. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, her pimp is bold.

  5. Joanna Krupa Bikini Side Boob Instagram
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Dis how chicken have gynecological exam.

  6. Mickey Rourke Crotch Bulge Spandex Bike Shorts Skinny Legs
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    It hurts my eyes but it also hardens me, toughens me up, makes me less likely to react badly when confronted with real life disgusting things.

  7. Mickey Rourke Crotch Bulge Spandex Bike Shorts Skinny Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Did he leave David Furnish in the car?

  8. Mischa Barton Nipples No Bra Fat Gut See Through Shirt LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    That guy behind is wearing the “no, no, I was most definitely not checking out her ass just then” blank stare of innocence.

  9. Taylor Swift Legs Minidress
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The most fabulous shoes are rendered unappealing if the wearer looks as if she’ll tumble over at any second, and knows it too.

  10. Joanna Krupa Bikini Side Boob Instagram
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m tired of the “dis how chicken” gimmick. It’s so predictable. This lady is a smokeshow. Hands down.

  11. Jamie Foxx Sticking Out Tongue At Cell Phone
    Commented on this photo:

    So *someone* actually bought that app that teaches you Oral Sex.

  12. Sarah Jessica Parker Nipples No Bra Son James Torn Jeans
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Congratulations to James for bucking traditional gender roles–it’s not just young girls who love ponies.

  13. Khloe Kardashian Huge Giant Ass Tight Jeans Kourntey Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear God, I *hope* that’s just perspective.

  14. Joanna Krupa Bikini Side Boob Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fucking gorgeous. There’s no denying that.

  15. Natalie Dormer Butt Yoga Pants Virgin London Marathon
    Commented on this photo:

    Great Scott!

  16. Jerry Lewis Barely Able To Stand Hand And Footprint Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Not surprised he has a woman helping him… According to him they’re not much good at anything else.

  17. Khloe Kardashian Huge Giant Ass Tight Jeans Kourntey Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody took “fake ass family” literally.

  18. Kathleen Turner Thick Body The Olivier Awards
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see Mickey Rourke’s transition is going smoothly.

  19. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’ll be 50 pounds for the ride, Ms. Lohan”
    “You mean I actually have to pay you?”
    “Yes”
    “HILARIOUS!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA”
    “I don’t think it is, and neither does the police”
    “Will a tug and a bj do?”

  20. Guy Fieri Drooling Over Womans Burger Pebble Beach Food And Wine Event
    Commented on this photo:

    To the guy in the background: DO IT! Put this douche out of our misery!! Slam him with something heavy! DO IT!!!

  21. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Spectacular, magnificent, glorious… That is all

  22. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    “As you can see, her teeth are removable for better blowjobs and her tits are still in surprisingly good shape for a junkie. I would suggest you use a condom, good sir. She didn’t get the name “firecrotch” because she’s a redhead.”

  23. Pope Francis Kissing Child Being Held Up By Security Detail Palm Sunday Mass
    Commented on this photo:

    45 seconds later

    “OK you can stop now”

  24. Khloe Kardashian Huge Giant Ass Tight Jeans Kourntey Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    I shall conquer this steed…
    I shall find its weakness and train it to heed my will.
    And then… I shall ride it into battle against the lord of the black gate that is her mother

  25. Khloe Kardashian Huge Giant Ass Tight Jeans Kourntey Kardashian
    Commented on this photo:

    Can you imagine what Hasselhoff would do to those buns?

  26. Ryan Sweeting Kaley Cuoco Squatting On Sidewalk
    Commented on this photo:

    “Uhhh where the hell do you think you’re running off to??”

  27. Guy Fieri Drooling Over Womans Burger Pebble Beach Food And Wine Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “I thought if I just kept stuffing my face he’d leave me alone, but the fucker can’t take a hint.”

  28. Ryan Sweeting Kaley Cuoco Squatting On Sidewalk
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey! You know I can’t go unless you watch!”

  29. Mischa Barton Nipples No Bra Fat Gut See Through Shirt LAX
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    This is not a good look.

  30. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m always glad to see Maria and her ass. Fucking sexy.

  31. Mischa Barton Nipples No Bra Fat Gut See Through Shirt LAX
    Drundel
    Commented on this photo:

    Huge nipples or pasties?

  32. Jerry Lewis Barely Able To Stand Hand And Footprint Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    “SCHMELLMAN!!!!!”

  33. Natasha Henstridge Fat Weight Gain Cleavage 25th Annual GLAAD Media Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoa, when did those happen?

  34. Mickey Rourke Crotch Bulge Spandex Bike Shorts Skinny Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t call it a Hammbone.

  35. Guy Fieri Drooling Over Womans Burger Pebble Beach Food And Wine Event
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m shocked Oakley is still in business what with all the publicity this guy gives them.

  36. Natalie Dormer Butt Yoga Pants Virgin London Marathon
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    This is not what I expected. Very disappointing.

  37. Lindsay Lohan
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    Quick, cancel the bitch’s passport and have the CIA plant evidence that she plans to kill Prince Charles and snog with the queen!

  38. Mischa Barton Nipples No Bra Fat Gut See Through Shirt LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Congratulations!

  39. Mischa Barton Nipples No Bra Fat Gut See Through Shirt LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Her size fluctuates more than a Puffer Fish.

  40. Mickey Rourke Crotch Bulge Spandex Bike Shorts Skinny Legs
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    He should have left his face alone and had a knee lift instead.

  41. Mischa Barton Nipples No Bra Fat Gut See Through Shirt LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    That hat is giving me a young Joan Baez or Joni Mitchell vibe.

  42. Ashley Benson Bikini Coachella Instagram
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the other one?

  43. Steven Van Zandt Eating
    Commented on this photo:

    I think the bandana is tied a little too tight.

  44. Billy Ray Cyrus Middle Finger 7-11
    Commented on this photo:

    This is how you diddle your daughter.

  45. Kathleen Turner Thick Body The Olivier Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Roseanne?

  46. Prince William Awkward Cricket Swing
    Commented on this photo:

    Prince William for TEAC.

  47. Katherine Heigl Bitching At Her Mother
    Commented on this photo:

    “buk-buk-buk bu-KAWK!”
    “buk buk buk-buk…”

    Sorry, I known that’s horrible.
    I usually save that for pics of “The View”

  48. Pope Francis Kissing Child Being Held Up By Security Detail Palm Sunday Mass
    Commented on this photo:

    They don’t have the bulletproof bubble popemobile anymore? Must have sold it pay another round of multi-million dollar settlements.

    *googles remington model 700*

  49. Khloe Kardashian Huge Giant Ass Tight Jeans Kourntey Kardashian
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow… that Tommy Copper really works…. to well it would seem.

  50. Natalie Dormer Butt Yoga Pants Virgin London Marathon
    jep
    Commented on this photo:

    Who?

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