The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.26.12

March 26th, 2012 // 545 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, lovingly strewn together by a surprisingly-here Photo Boy who still came to work thanks to his strong Italian work ethic that just makes a man want to shove his stugots in some moulignon. And for the record, I have no idea what I just said back there, but I’m sure it was a nice, friendly, non-offensive Guinea colloquialism for loving pizza pie-ah!

Your spicy meatball,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Joanna Krupa Cleavage
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I just peed in my underpants before I could get to her butt.

  2. Kelly Brook Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like a real life version of a Funhouse mirror.

  3. Tom Jones Leather Jacket Scarf
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I remember him back before he became Fred Sanford.

    • CajunJoe

      The hairline is way too far forward, but he’s getting there. Probably his next album will have hits like, “You big dummy”, “I’m comin’ ‘lizabeth” and a bonus track of “Ester, you so ugly.”

  4. Jessica Hart Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sunburnt and alarmingly thin. Time to leave the beach and get a sandwich.

    • Just_As_it_IS

      Sandwich? Nah, don’t expect everyone to look kardashian-ish.
      This chick’s body is perfect for me.

  5. Joe Francis Mario Lopez Elaine Lancaster
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Lopez’s smile tells me he’s fondly remembering some first-class rogerings from Miss Elaine.

  6. Jonah Hill
    Commented on this photo:

    First he’s fat. Then he’s thin. Then he’s fat. Now all of his body parts are just going “Fuck you” and individually doing whatever the hell they want.

  7. Joanna Krupa Cleavage
    LJ
    Commented on this photo:

    And for all the Interns, please note that this is what happens when you inject botox into only one side of the face.

  8. Gerard Butler Laker Game
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Pau? Why are you in civvies?

  9. Venus Williams
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Speaking of people who have rogered Mario Lopez . . .

  10. Gerard Butler Tony Tiger Coke
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s hope the sexy Scotchman can keep it clean.

  11. Tom Jones Leather Jacket Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    After years of catching panties, he’s stuck like that.

  12. Venus Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello my honey, hello my baby, hello my ragtime gal…

  13. Danny DeVito
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    He really slid into creepy old dude very nicely. It was a seamless transition.

  14. Queen Latifah Tony Bennett
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Tony: “San Francisco, send my heart back. I’m going black tonight!”

    Everyone else: “Uh, Tony, we need to talk.”

  15. Gerard Butler Tony Tiger Coke
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    This is snorta?

  16. Queen Latifah Tony Bennett
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at how tightly he’s holding the microphne.
    He’s terrified.

  17. Michael Fassbender Smoking Cigarette
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I assume his hands must be huge, so is he smoking a big ol’ Cuban Presidente there?

  18. Kesha
    LJ
    Commented on this photo:

    For all of you Interns, this is what happens when you take too many valium before you head to the red carpet.

  19. Queen Latifah Tony Bennett
    Commented on this photo:

    “I will break you.”

  20. Ian Somerhalder
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m going to….BLOW this dog.”

  21. Donald Sutherland
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    guy in the back, “he’s forgotten his hat. The red hat”

  22. Kevin Sorbo Eagle
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    The words all make sense, but I can’t figure out how “Kevin Sorbo at Ali’s fight night” has a God damned thing to do with Jerry Lewis and a wooden eagle.

  23. Helena Bonham Carter Crazy Clothes
    LJ
    Commented on this photo:

    You date Tim Burton and you begin to dress like he thinks.

    • Tim Burton may be many things, but pink and ruffly? Not in my experience – not unless those are Victorian undies that’ve been used to swab up a crime scene.

  24. Lauren Stoner Bikini
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    And look, he gave me an extra $60 because I allowed him to kiss me.

  25. Rihanna No Bra Blonde Hair Open Shirt
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Rihanna, you forgot something. No, not your bra, you forgot how to avoid be an annoying twat.

  26. Lauren Stoner Bikini
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    I was going to say something about her ass, but a friggin’ ad for “Punk’d” covered it.

  27. Lauren Stoner Bikini
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    which one of them is laur…. yeah, i don’t give a shit.

  28. Selena Gomez Bikini Ashley Benson Twitter Spring Breakers
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, you girls are just such rebels! Hardcore to the motherfuckin’ T!

  29. Michael Fassbender Smoking Cigarette
    Commented on this photo:

    “Charlize Theron publicly wants my dick. How’s YOUR week going?”

  30. Tim Tebow
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    No Tim, tempting though it may be, you’ve already got a promise ring in that color

  31. Tim Tebow
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry folks, Mr. Tebow will not be signing any autographs in Aramaic today.

  32. Selena Gomez Bikini Ashley Benson Twitter Spring Breakers
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Pro tip: you’re not going to get picked up for alley blowjobs if you lean against a police car.

  33. Jonah Hill
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah bro. I’m definitely on for another Superbad. In fact, I’ve been gaining weight on purpose just for the sequel. nah, nah, nah, those are all bullshit rumors….”burst my stomach band”, whatevs!”

  34. Tom Jones Leather Jacket Scarf
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    It actually is sort of unusual that he’s still alive.

  35. Venus Williams
    fuckface
    Commented on this photo:

    she is doing the butterfly. Someone just inserted a tennis raquett digitally. I am so happy I can spell racquet.

  36. Gerard Butler Tony Tiger Coke
    Commented on this photo:

    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/26/l_5799601204f35c56b1091932bd1013c9-340_263.jpg[/img]

  37. Brandi Glanville Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere, LeAnn Rimes is trying on pink dresses and claiming she’s always loved animals.

  38. Joe Francis Mario Lopez Elaine Lancaster
    Arizona Ken
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: the vat of antiseptic everyone else in the room is jumping into.

  39. Venus Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    The pattern on those shorts really masks her penis

  40. Joanna Krupa Cleavage
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, caught her in mid stroke, nice.

  41. Famke Janssen
    Commented on this photo:

    When did she turn into the lady that pushes the shopping cart around town?

  42. Kelly Brook Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Ms. Brook…simply amazing.

  43. Ian Somerhalder
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s not smug. He’s just drawn that way.

  44. Bethenny Frankel Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    The Joker’s head on Madonna’s body . . . good Halloween costume.

  45. Joanna Krupa Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like an inflatable, which was compressed too long in the corner

  46. Famke Janssen
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    So, yeah, I’m in this one a lot, it’s not very good, but damn, you hand the guy a bowl of shellfish and he’ll give you all the screen time and semen you can handle.

  47. Dolph Lundgren
    Commented on this photo:

    So, he yellowed with age?

  48. Joe Francis Mario Lopez Elaine Lancaster
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re all laughing but the Queen has the biggest penis.

  49. Joe Francis Mario Lopez Elaine Lancaster
    Commented on this photo:

    Mario and Joe promoting their new business venture…Chicks with Dicks Gone Wild

  50. Joanna Krupa Cleavage
    bigjc001
    Commented on this photo:

    Either a bad photoshop of her face, or she’s a walking Picasso.

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