The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.19.12

March 19th, 2012 // 392 Comments

Welcome to the first The Crap We Missed post in over a week, in which it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t disclose upfront that you almost got Rita Rusic for your Final Five, but then I came across these. Glad I’m back? Anyway, despite some debugging delays as a result of our shiny new customer service center – Seriously, complain all you want, nobody’s listening. – I’m happy to still bring your speed round of shame including two of my Crap favorites, here and here, as well as Alessandra Ambrosio absolutely pwning Jessica Simpson‘s pregnancy.

Anybody else lie awake all last week wondering if there was frozen-faced sideboob not getting posted to the internet?

Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jeff Goldblum Fur Collar Jacket Knit Hat
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    She does realize she’s dating Jeff Goldblum, right?

  2. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “And this is where we store our ni— oops, better not say that word again!”

  3. Chelsea Handler Dress Oversized Boots
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to think her stylist was drunk, I really would.

  4. Sinead O'Connor Jesus Sweatshirt Writing On Feet
    sigmundfrood
    Commented on this photo:

    After tearing up a picture of the Pope on SNL, does she really think that a Jesus shirt will save her soul? I don’t think so. Eternal damnation baby. That’s what I’m talkin’ bout.

  5. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    merciful percival
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d pee in her but

  6. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Lee
    Commented on this photo:

    shes had a tummy tuck you can tell cause her belly button goes up and down a sure tell tale sign of a tummy tuck

  7. Jeff Goldblum Fur Collar Jacket Knit Hat
    God is Black
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I like that Jacket ! ” Seriously you can fit 2 MREs in each pocket.

  8. Jeff Goldblum Fur Collar Jacket Knit Hat
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice lid Lou.

  9. Tara Reid
    Steelerchick
    Commented on this photo:

    Not bad for a 50 year old.

  10. Coco Cleavage Ice-T Drunk
    Ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs her own timpani drum

  11. Tara Reid
    FussyHussy
    Commented on this photo:

    Tara Reid is just waiting for her chance to play Madga in the Something about Mary Reboot.

  12. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    NEOV
    Commented on this photo:

    George Louis Costanza: You know what this has to do with? The man in the cape. I bet you he is mixed up in this. I don’t trust men in capes.
    Jerry Seinfeld: You can’t cast aspersions on someone just because they’re wearing a cape. Superman wore a cape. And I’ll be damned if I’m gonna stand here and let you say anything bad about him.
    George Louis Costanza: All right, Superman’s the exception.

  13. Kate Middleton Shovel Dirt Pile
    NEOV
    Commented on this photo:

    wrong camera angle…

  14. Carmen Electra Cleavage Butt Spandex Dress
    NEOV
    Commented on this photo:

    it takes years to recover from the Rodman

  15. David Beckham
    brit
    Commented on this photo:

    yes they are gold plated. How do you think I got my nickname?

  16. Elizabeth Berkley Pregnant Belly No Bra Yoga Pants
    brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Laid by the Bell

  17. Dakota Fanning
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s a fine actress, but her little sister Elle is much prettier….

  18. Dakota Fanning
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Over-the-hill at 18 and already replaced. Rough.

  19. Coco Cleavage Ice-T Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s their ‘fucking in front the video camera’ faces

  20. Coco Cleavage Ice-T Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    notice how she has one eye on the camera at all times

  21. David Hasselhoff Hayley Roberts Laker Game
    Double-J
    Commented on this photo:

    I learned overacting from watching you, Dad!

  22. Jeff Goldblum Fur Collar Jacket Knit Hat
    Double-J
    Commented on this photo:

    “WHY won’t you give me your extra fur?”
    “We’re not going to talk about this anymore.”

  23. Alessandra Ambrosio Cleavage Pregnant Belly
    Double-J
    Commented on this photo:

    “I will NOT have another retarded child. I will NOT have another retarded child…”

  24. Shaquille O'Neal Crossed Eyes
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    St Patrick’s day. He must be one of the Black Irish.

  25. Coco Cleavage Ice-T Drunk
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    To sedate the African-American male one must press the buttocks firmly into his crotch region.

  26. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    What a Homely Limey

  27. Kate Middleton Shovel Dirt Pile
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s right Katie Babe. We’re the new fiscally responsible royals. We do our own chores. Now go an be a good princess and dig up the garden would ya.

  28. Tara Reid
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s that old saying about ridden hard and put away wet?

  29. Elizabeth Berkley Pregnant Belly No Bra Yoga Pants
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! The poor rich dude who thought that he was getting a trophy wife!

  30. Chelsea Handler Dress Oversized Boots
    bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Why not Mukluk’s? They’d do just as well.

  31. David Beckham
    Timmyfigs
    Commented on this photo:

    Moon River! Geez doc. Did you use the whole hand?

  32. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    g-moonie
    Commented on this photo:

    Do the tsunami alerts go off every time they have sex?

  33. Rachel Zoe Tight Pants Butt Son Skyler Playground
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Congratulations son. Your first stinky finger.

  34. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Always alone..Hmmmmm, I wonder why?

  35. Jeff Goldblum Fur Collar Jacket Knit Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    Sequel to Being John Malkovich?

  36. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    Commented on this photo:

    So mush effort to look like you don’t care about fashion.

  37. Chelsea Handler Dress Oversized Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    They Photoshopped her shopping cart out.

  38. Crystal Harris Cleavage Tight Dress
    bethy
    Commented on this photo:

    “And then Leann Rimes was like ……”

  39. Coco Cleavage Ice-T Drunk
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t now if this makes me like or hate SVU

  40. Michael Bolton
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    In a stroke of genius Michael Bolton goes for the Stevie Wonder thing as his career was failing.

  41. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    ikaiyoo
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought NBC canceled “The Cape” 2 seasons ago?

  42. David Hasselhoff Hayley Roberts Laker Game
    Deina
    Commented on this photo:

    Kinda late with this, but… is that Parker Stevenson to his left?

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