The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.19.12

March 19th, 2012 // 392 Comments

Welcome to the first The Crap We Missed post in over a week, in which it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t disclose upfront that you almost got Rita Rusic for your Final Five, but then I came across these. Glad I’m back? Anyway, despite some debugging delays as a result of our shiny new customer service center – Seriously, complain all you want, nobody’s listening. – I’m happy to still bring your speed round of shame including two of my Crap favorites, here and here, as well as Alessandra Ambrosio absolutely pwning Jessica Simpson‘s pregnancy.

Anybody else lie awake all last week wondering if there was frozen-faced sideboob not getting posted to the internet?

Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    Supadupa
    Commented on this photo:

    The Flash-er.

  2. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Faces of the Five Dollar Foot Long

  3. Rachel Zoe Tight Pants Butt Son Skyler Playground
    Annie
    Commented on this photo:

    “And he shall be gay,” said the voice in the wraith’s mind.

  4. Jeff Goldblum Fur Collar Jacket Knit Hat
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Think different. Dress idiot.

  5. Sinead O'Connor Jesus Sweatshirt Writing On Feet
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Not a lot of people know there was an eighth dwarf called FuckedUppy

  6. Holly Madison Butt Sports Bra Yoga Pants Stretching
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    Chainsaws are faster.

  7. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know when this sarong craze started, but I think this pinpoints the exact moment its decline begins.

  8. David Beckham
    Fish
    Commented on this photo:

    -> “Ahah guys, his finger is waaaay shorter than my wife’s.”

    -> “Uh, Mr. Beckham, that’s my whole fist.”

  9. Dakota Fanning
    Commented on this photo:

    So that White Walker was alive all along.

  10. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet the other super heroes feel kind of sorry for Windpower

  11. Crystal Harris Cleavage Tight Dress
    CranAppleSnapple
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that what Lindsay has been trying to copy?

  12. David Beckham
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you know you can hire someone to scratch your bits? You did?!? Why the bloody hell didn’t you tell me?”

  13. Shaquille O'Neal Crossed Eyes
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m gettin’ too old for thi-… Ah, never mind.”

  14. Alessandra Ambrosio Cleavage Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks a little swanky here. And by “swanky,” I mean Hilary.

  15. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, are you sure you didn’t switch the nickname over to the wrong spouse?

  16. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see someone’s handling the breakup well.

  17. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    meme
    Commented on this photo:

    But yo, he juggled them. You didn’t.

  18. Michael Bolton
    Commented on this photo:

    Michael Bolton, starring in “Karl Lagerfeld: the Middle Years.”

  19. Kate Middleton Shovel Dirt Pile
    meme
    Commented on this photo:

    Pippa’s shits are as big as her ass.

  20. Holly Madison Butt Sports Bra Yoga Pants Stretching
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wait. What do you mean ‘that’s not why they call it a beaver’?”

  21. Holly Madison Butt Sports Bra Yoga Pants Stretching
    meme
    Commented on this photo:

    underbite

  22. Elizabeth Berkley Pregnant Belly No Bra Yoga Pants
    Stupid
    Commented on this photo:

    Hopefully she’s pregnant, if not she has a horrible body now. No longer that Showgirl hot bod.

  23. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Pants DWTS
    meme
    Commented on this photo:

    this bitch needs to stop

  24. Sinead O'Connor Jesus Sweatshirt Writing On Feet
    LockNLoad
    Commented on this photo:

    Now there’s a look…

  25. Shaquille O'Neal Crossed Eyes
    Commented on this photo:

    “What you mean they just found out playin’ basketball makes you cross-eyed?”

  26. David Beckham
    me
    Commented on this photo:

    he said: keep going till you hit the spot……….WOUUU

  27. Sinead O'Connor Jesus Sweatshirt Writing On Feet
    Commented on this photo:

    “Is there a place I can plug in my electric enema machine?”

  28. Coco Cleavage Ice-T Drunk
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Another game of Bang the Tail of the Donkey.

  29. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Do_Freebird
    Commented on this photo:

    At least we know who wears the pants in the family. And thank God it’s Mrs. Dog.

  30. Rose McGowan Side Boob
    Commented on this photo:

    wow she looks a 1000 years younger. I would Jennifer Love Hewitt her.

  31. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Charlie
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s one rough looking Oompa Loompa.

  32. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    Commented on this photo:

    Super Shart….Saving the world, one cellphone at a time.

  33. Rose McGowan Side Boob
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Really, we shouldn’t have bought our androids from the same company that makes Russian Mars probes.

  34. Kate Middleton Shovel Dirt Pile
    Commented on this photo:

    I never seen anyone use a shovel to make a TREE HOUSE before.

  35. Jeff Goldblum Fur Collar Jacket Knit Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ignore them dear and have some more Skittles.”

  36. Dakota Fanning
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens when you tease her that she’s going to AA.

  37. Elizabeth Berkley Pregnant Belly No Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    legs are too fat for her to be pregnant.

  38. Rose McGowan Side Boob
    Xxoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “I hear a beat….How sweet.
    Just to register emotion, jealousy – devotion,
    And really feel the part.
    I could stay young and chipper and I’d lock it with a zipper, If I only had a heart.”

  39. Chelsea Handler Dress Oversized Boots
    Shasta
    Commented on this photo:

    There are so many things I just don’t understand- that pose, that dress, and why she is still allowed to keep living.

  40. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Please put on more clothes now.

  41. David Beckham
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Six feet of tapeworm for you, not them.

  42. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    Fish
    Commented on this photo:

    And the first super-hero wearing flip-flops award goes to…

  43. Alessandra Ambrosio Cleavage Pregnant Belly
    Fish
    Commented on this photo:

    Props to plastic surgery. Steven Tyler is looking younger each day.

  44. David Beckham
    Xxoo
    Commented on this photo:

    No, Dave… still 98.6 degrees. Just like the hundred other times you’ had me do this over the last couple of days.

  45. Shaquille O'Neal Crossed Eyes
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Coach: He’s our center, Shaquille Asshole.
    Dark Helmet: What? More assholes?

  46. Elizabeth Berkley Pregnant Belly No Bra Yoga Pants
    Fish
    Commented on this photo:

    Saved by the Big Mac.

  47. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Even he looks disgusted at the imminent revealing of the bikini bottom.

  48. David Beckham
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    TEAMWORK

  49. David Hasselhoff Hayley Roberts Laker Game
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Odo, can you shapeshift yourself into a decent forward for us?

  50. Rose McGowan Side Boob
    ss109
    Commented on this photo:

    Jwoww is actually dressing nice for a change

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