The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.19.12

March 19th, 2012 // 392 Comments

Welcome to the first The Crap We Missed post in over a week, in which it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t disclose upfront that you almost got Rita Rusic for your Final Five, but then I came across these. Glad I’m back? Anyway, despite some debugging delays as a result of our shiny new customer service center – Seriously, complain all you want, nobody’s listening. – I’m happy to still bring your speed round of shame including two of my Crap favorites, here and here, as well as Alessandra Ambrosio absolutely pwning Jessica Simpson‘s pregnancy.

Anybody else lie awake all last week wondering if there was frozen-faced sideboob not getting posted to the internet?

Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. I’m here,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Coco Cleavage Ice-T Drunk
    Commented on this photo:

    You really have to respect a man who can pull off a mesh-polo-shirt.

  2. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Lita
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do we even care about them?

  3. Rose McGowan Side Boob
    Lita
    Commented on this photo:

    Those sex dolls sure are becoming more life-like.

  4. smadgie

    What the hell has become of us as people?!

  5. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    Lita
    Commented on this photo:

    Russell Brand: Caped crusader.

  6. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    Commented on this photo:

    Darth Douchebag

  7. Rose McGowan Side Boob
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like she stepped straight out of a storybook … Alice Through the Windshield

    • Shasta

      I want to click “like”, but it’s not doing anything. So you have another little thumbs up in spirit.

  8. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Yicky
    Commented on this photo:

    Jessica Simpson is looking better but Debra Messing looks like shit

  9. Coco Cleavage Ice-T Drunk
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    This is my wife. There are many like her, but this one is mine.

  10. Rose McGowan Side Boob
    Stoo Pee
    Commented on this photo:

    Crazy cat lady level Vienna Filmball

  11. David Hasselhoff Hayley Roberts Laker Game
    Bumbumbum
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a cheeseburger canon off camera.

  12. Dakota Fanning
    Stoo Pee
    Commented on this photo:

    Stop drinking Lindsay

  13. David Hasselhoff Hayley Roberts Laker Game
    BigL
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Parker Stevenson next to the Hoff?

  14. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    The white version of Ice-T and Coco.

  15. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    His gut is not as big as one of her boobs.

  16. Michael Bolton
    Commented on this photo:

    Target: black microphone
    Objective: wail loudly into it

  17. Rachel Zoe Tight Pants Butt Son Skyler Playground
    Commented on this photo:

    Putting the sand in sandals i see

  18. Elizabeth Berkley Pregnant Belly No Bra Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Elizabeth Berkley narrowly loses her bid to become the Cracker Barrel spokesperson. Here, we see her congratulating the winner.

  19. Dakota Fanning
    Commented on this photo:

    More like Dakota Camping, amirite?

  20. David Beckham
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny enough, now he sounds like James Earl Jones

  21. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    The Hulkster and Brooke are finally off the juice.

  22. Rachel Zoe Tight Pants Butt Son Skyler Playground
    Commented on this photo:

    Introducing WhoreMomTwig. She’s one-third mom, one-third whore, and one-third twig.

  23. Jeff Goldblum Fur Collar Jacket Knit Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    You can fit a lot of liver treats in one of those pockets.

  24. Holly Madison Butt Sports Bra Yoga Pants Stretching
    Commented on this photo:

    Pippa?!?

  25. Sinead O'Connor Jesus Sweatshirt Writing On Feet
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like she wrote the instructions on how to walk home from there on her feet.

  26. David Hasselhoff Hayley Roberts Laker Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “Tear down that wall, Kobe!”

  27. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Pants DWTS
    Commented on this photo:

    Insert obligatory “junk in the trunk” comment here

  28. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    Commented on this photo:

    This is not the Flashback reboot I was hoping for.

  29. Kate Middleton Shovel Dirt Pile
    Commented on this photo:

    I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger…

  30. Sinead O'Connor Jesus Sweatshirt Writing On Feet
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does her sweatshirt have a huge hole cutout in the front of it?

  31. Miss Bahamas Anastagia Pierre Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m hoping this hottie’s nickname is “Nasty”. ‘Cause I’d like to do the Nasty…. yeeeeaaaaahhhh

  32. Tara Reid
    Commented on this photo:

    Beware of Greeks marrying bad tits.

  33. Russell Brand Cape Leg Warmers
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    Now this shit here, this fuckery that he is dressed in, this is what he should be charged with a felony.

  34. Kate Middleton Shovel Dirt Pile
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    And behind her the two Privy Counsellors whose job it is to tell an ass from a hole in the ground

  35. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Pants DWTS
    Commented on this photo:

    For a moment I thought it said ‘Dancing Down the Stairs’ and assumed she was also collaborating with Chris Brown.

  36. Jeff Goldblum Fur Collar Jacket Knit Hat
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    There has to be enough money left over from The Fly to get her hair done.

  37. Carmen Electra Cleavage Butt Spandex Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    And she only wears half as much makeup as Dave Navarro.

  38. Crystal Harris Cleavage Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    You had it at Crazy Horse.

  39. Miss Bahamas Anastagia Pierre Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d Pierre in her butt.

  40. Maria Menounos Butt Yoga Pants DWTS
    El Jefe
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice.

  41. Miss Bahamas Anastagia Pierre Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like the female version of Andre 3000. But a version I would have sex with.

  42. Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman Fat Gut Beth Chapman Bikini Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she was on top once, and gave him two black eyes. Never again.

  43. Jeff Goldblum Fur Collar Jacket Knit Hat
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Yay! America’s finally discovered Dustin the Turkey

  44. Tara Reid
    tkb
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF exactly did she do to her tits? And why isn’t she aware, at her age, that a bra will fix all that mess?

  45. David Beckham
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey! I guess they have a cream out for that now!”

  46. Rachel Zoe Tight Pants Butt Son Skyler Playground
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    She could do with a little swing herself

  47. Alessandra Ambrosio Cleavage Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sorry, princess, but your snack is in another castle!

  48. Chelsea Handler Dress Oversized Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Her existence is a violation of human rights.

  49. Mama Pinkus

    I know sometimes Coco comes off as a circus act but she seems to be genuinely sweet and she has the unwavering love of Ice – she’s a fortunate gal

  50. Michael Bolton
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    PC Load Letter”? What the fuck does that mean?

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