The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.28.11

March 28th, 2011 // 357 Comments

Toldcha Bieber Smurfed that.

Welcome to another exciting edition of The Crap We Missed. Thrill at the sight of Christina Aguilera being seconds away from telling Matthew Rutler to “mole her!” Marvel at Samantha Ronson’s new girlfriend who may or may not be Rashida Jones! And be astounded by the other-worldly crime-fighting skills of the Los Angeles Police Department!

All this.. and Paris Hilton contemplating eating food. GASP!

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start the Gallery

Photos: Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Selena Gomez
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    “Justin and I like to match. Tonight, I’m matching his balls.”

  2. Olivia Munn Comedy Awards
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    Munndane.

  3. Keira Knightley
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah, there she is, the poor man’s Natalie Portman

  4. Charlie Sheen
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    I love photographic oxy-morons

  5. Jude Law
    Kim
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear to God. If you pull it out, and it’s hard, I’ll suck it.

  6. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Look for the blue ring round Biebers dingo!

  7. KC

    The problem is that both Bieber and she are too small to be smurfs.

  8. Fan

    This is how it should be done. Gaga should learn from this.

  9. Paris Hilton
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Paris: “Tokidoki Youth Relief? I thought this was the Herpes Fun Run!”

  10. Olivia Munn Comedy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I would be much more likely to watch her new series if it had more of her and less of everything other single thing about it.

  11. Christina Aguilera Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s thinking “I don’t care how drunk they are, I never should have arrested them togther….”

  12. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    Proving that she’s never done either one, she is eating a Fatburger just before going for a run.

  13. Taylor Momsen
    Commented on this photo:

    How embarrasing…from this angle she looks a little trampy.

  14. Michelle Hunziker
    c-h
    Commented on this photo:

    cum with me if you want to live!

  15. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Jes
    Commented on this photo:

    HOW THE HELL TALL IS HE???? He looks like Andre the Giant next to her! How does that even work??

  16. Josh Duhamel
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s Josh shortly after returning Fergie to her kennel, once he realized that the “Youth in Asia” benefit wasn’t exactly what he thought it was…

  17. Keira Knightley
    Gateau
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she Photoshop her head onto her own body?

  18. Kendra Wilkinson
    Just fucking say it already
    Commented on this photo:

    They missed out on adding one more logo on that billboard she calls a forehead.

  19. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Just fucking say it already
    Commented on this photo:

    This bitch will do anything to make her ass look small.

  20. Samantha Ronson
    Just fucking say it already
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, smell my knuckles.”

  21. Lindsay Lohan
    Deesus
    Commented on this photo:

    Guess that black shaman bit worked. Ima buy that bitch a dreamcatcher. Bitches love dreamcatchers

  22. Paris Hilton
    Deesus
    Commented on this photo:

    googles ‘how to run’ on phone

  23. Charlie Sheen
    KayKay
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now which one of you are going to strip search me? Hint…I have something in my ASS!”

  24. Selena Gomez
    Caroline
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey! It’s the stewardess that had sex with Chris Tucker in the 5th Element!

  25. Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    After the squeezing, Violet Beauregarde was voted “Hottest Blueberry in London”. Mr Wonka had no comment, but is currently pending 4 charges of child endangerment, and one count of sexual assault on a minor.

  26. Jude Law
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is how we do ‘The Shocker’ on this side of the pond…yes, cigarette and all”

  27. Olivia Munn Comedy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Her left breast says “take me, I’m yours!”…but her right one, and her face, say “I’m bored, and I’m tired of ugly people looking at me”.

    Since perky boobs vote counts for 2.5, “take me” wins!

  28. Josh Duhamel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Psst…dude, you look like a douche. And this is coming from a guy dressed in a spandex body suit”

    I’m sure he’s not just showing up to get his photo taken…all serious runners wear a t-shirt over their jacket and running shoes with no socks.

  29. Kendra Wilkinson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wet Republic”…I feel like I should make a joke about her vagina and men old enough to remember the Roman Republic. Or maybe something about being a prostitute.

    I just can’t muster up the interest to make fun of her any more, she’s just over.

  30. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    “Seriously though guys…I need a job. Does the department drug test?”

  31. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    Is “friend” politically correct speech for “pimp” now? From the looks of her left eye, something he told her needed to be told twice.

  32. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    She HAS to date guys that tall, normal humans can’t step over her ass in the event of a fire…she’s VERY devoted to safety.

  33. Taylor Momsen
    chels
    Commented on this photo:

    guys, you are clearly missing the point of this picture. she is performing a reverse exorcism on her drummer. you can see the devil in his eyes.

  34. Christina Aguilera Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    The drivers face is destined to be the next “put this face everywhere” internet meme.

  35. Keira Knightley
    Commented on this photo:

    “this is my ‘contractually obligated to appear’ ensemble…do you like it?”

  36. Fergie
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy in the background has the consummate “I’m taking an ass photo with my cell phone” look.

  37. Michelle Hunziker
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if one letter short of having “Nazi” in her name is what keeps her skinny.

  38. Samantha Ronson
    Commented on this photo:

    This new relationship is very confusing…I can’t tell which one is the ugly one now.

  39. Chris Jericho
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the hell is Chris Jericho? Ah nevermind…his vest matches the lining of his shirt, that’s enough for me. Just die already.

  40. Paris Hilton
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not eating it, she’s clearly attempting to email it to Nicole Richie. God bless you Paris, never stop fighting for your friends life.

  41. Taylor Momsen
    Commented on this photo:

    …so get the new TrampTracker 2000 today, it’s wireless, discreet, and mounts where even the most flexible skank can’t reach it.

  42. Christina Aguilera Matthew Rutler
    KayKay
    Commented on this photo:

    “In my home country I was a brain surgeon…..FML”

  43. Taylor Momsen
    KayKay
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sex Trash” on her back…..so does that mean she is a used condom?

  44. Taylor Momsen
    KayKay
    Commented on this photo:

    Or is she advertising again? Please cum here ———>

  45. MLVC

    i think she dressed in blue to honor the Biebs testicles….she is smoking hot…i’d bang her and biebs…why not??

  46. Christina Aguilera Matthew Rutler
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    If I adjust the rearview mirror I won’t see them BUT, if I do, I risk momentarily seeing more. The hell with it, I’ll just sit here and suffer.

Leave A Comment