The Crap We Missed – Monday 3.28.11

March 28th, 2011 // 357 Comments

Toldcha Bieber Smurfed that.

Welcome to another exciting edition of The Crap We Missed. Thrill at the sight of Christina Aguilera being seconds away from telling Matthew Rutler to “mole her!” Marvel at Samantha Ronson’s new girlfriend who may or may not be Rashida Jones! And be astounded by the other-worldly crime-fighting skills of the Los Angeles Police Department!

All this.. and Paris Hilton contemplating eating food. GASP!

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start the Gallery

Photos: Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Selena Gomez
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    II like the getup, but I feel like you need more of an occasion for that kinda outfit. I mean, it’s Perez Hilton king of bad dye-jobs and failed dieting programs, not Lady Gaga.

  2. Lindsay Lohan
    Matty
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay visits Wesley Snipes in prison and learns she didn’t get that sweet Bl4de role she was gunning for. In theaters 2015.

  3. Selena Gomez
    Trina Bambina
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens when you date Justin Bieber. Goddamnit.

  4. Olivia Munn Comedy Awards
    Rough--There will be no fighting in the war room
    Commented on this photo:

    Id splat two saggy balls right on the eyelids…

  5. Jude Law
    Shlongface
    Commented on this photo:

    I was thinking more De Niro…

  6. Jude Law
    MrsEllis
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s still hotter than 90% of all males combined. And I’m not even into blonds or brits.

  7. Olivia Munn Comedy Awards
    Gerbil in my Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    Mighty tasty looking Munns.

  8. Charlie Sheen
    zomgbie
    Commented on this photo:

    hope you rot in hell for letting your kids dog die of malnutrition.
    and your tickets arent selling douche bag.
    guess you’ll have to sell more of those “winning” t-shirts.
    and your poetry tapes are lmao bad.
    -like shatner singing rocket man lmao bad.

  9. Christina Aguilera Matthew Rutler
    MrsEllis
    Commented on this photo:

    This should have been a post on its own. Just this pictures. No words necessary.

  10. Selena Gomez
    felix
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone threw a birthday party for that fuck? And people attended??? The guy in Tuscon shoulda waited.

  11. Selena Gomez
    Rough--There will be no fighting in the war room
    Commented on this photo:

    Who was her date Cuban Pete?

  12. Selena Gomez
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    It is a costume for the “Blue Ball” to celebrate Perez Hilton’s birthday….Selena still looks totally worth hitting it, even dress like something from a gay nightmare or should that be…..to attend a gay nightmare’s birthday bash!

  13. Keira Knightley
    E
    Commented on this photo:

    So that’s what Helena Bonham Carter looks like when she remembers to take her Abilify.

  14. Keira Knightley
    jo_mamma
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe she’s preparing for a role in a remake of Great Expectations.
    Miss Havisham? Is that you?

  15. Kendra Wilkinson
    felix
    Commented on this photo:

    Rode hard, put up wet, times infinity

  16. Selena Gomez
    Dutch
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin Bieber has a Smurf Fetish and Other News.

  17. Jude Law
    Commented on this photo:

    “That movie sucked. Cameron Diaz was unwatchable!”, exclaimed a a clearly disappointed Jude.

  18. Charlie Sheen
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah…”Winning = the new “Losing”, Charlie! Then there are two of L.A.’s Finest who are “Winning”, too. Wonder if Charlie, promised to buy them each a Bentley for posing with him.

  19. Olivia Munn Comedy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Month 2 of being over Ms. Munn and I’m starting to enjoy the new found freedom.

  20. Josh Duhamel
    Commented on this photo:

    Douche Fu

  21. Lindsay Lohan
    Storm
    Commented on this photo:

    Who does she think she is, Pocahontas? Forget dropping “Lohan” — she should adopt the Native American name “Snorts with Fury.”

  22. Olivia Munn Comedy Awards
    Tim
    Commented on this photo:

    Great cans.

  23. Selena Gomez
    Commented on this photo:

    Katie Holmes relaxing at home.

  24. Charlie Sheen
    Commented on this photo:

    Then he grabbed one of their gun and started spinning it on his finger. “Look at me, I’m a cowboy!”

    They all had a great laugh over that one.

  25. Jude Law
    Commented on this photo:

    “I swear I did not suck on that wanker’s dick,” said an emphatic Jude between drags on cigarette.

  26. Lindsay Lohan
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    She just received her Native American name: Trippi Long-Stocking.

  27. Lindsay Lohan
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Coincidentally, from a recent L.A. personals ad: “Swiss Miss seeks hot chocolate…”

  28. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Kris H.,”Here let me show you where to put your finger to make me cum really hard!”
    Kim, smiling for camera, “Right now? Wait! That isn’t the way Ray J asked me to do it in my last sex tape! ”
    Kris H.” Just Do It ! (whispered aside) That should satisfy my Nike contract !)

  29. Lindsay Lohan
    Commented on this photo:

    She trying to bolster her “street cred” by being photographed with the blackest man in America.

  30. Selena Gomez
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    That crazy Bai Ling, she’ll do anything for attention.

  31. Christina Aguilera Matthew Rutler
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    So that is what making out with a pig wearing lipstick looks like…..EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! And it smells bad, too!

  32. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not surprised it requires a 9-foot white guy to provide the size penis to which she has become accustomed.

  33. Keira Knightley
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    No one told me Natalie Portman miscarried.

  34. Josh Duhamel
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    If I were married to Fergie, thats the kind of outfit I’d make “her” wear for sex, too.

  35. Maeby

    Is this for that blue Perez Hilton party that happened?

  36. Kendra Wilkinson
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Always trying so hard to be ‘hot.’
    Once you start referring to yourself as ‘hot’ in every interview you no longer are honey …

  37. Kendra Wilkinson
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    Huh. No handles on her ankles. Whudda thunk it?

  38. Keira Knightley
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Her next starring role will be in “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn!” as the tree!

  39. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    I know from this angle it looks like a mismatch but if Kim lies face down her ass is as tall as he is.

  40. Fergie
    Colin
    Commented on this photo:

    Who invited Janet Jackson?

  41. Charlie Sheen
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    The first 72 hours of his public breakdown were fucking HILARIOUS.

    Every moment since then, not so much.

  42. Kendra Wilkinson
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice backdrop, but they won’t get me back there without a sign that says “pool sterilization complete.”

  43. Fergie
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Fergie, without “her” female impersonator” kit on!

  44. Fergie
    MondayNightSteve
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see those reports were false. Here’s Jack LaLanne looking alive and well.

  45. Lindsay Lohan
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Just die already.

  46. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    This way, she doesn’t have to get on her knees to be peed on.

  47. Jude Law
    Daemon8666
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s where they’ll find my body. It’s the only was I can top big bro – do it in London.”

  48. Samantha Ronson
    Ron Swanson
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does Ronson’s new “girlfriend” look like Rashida Jones?

  49. Christina Aguilera Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve made a terrible mistake.

  50. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries
    Turd Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Of course she found ‘love’ in a pro athlete with many zeros in his bank account.
    She will die alone, with a huge ass, cats everywhere in her place and boxes of makeup strewn about.

    • Josephus

      I think you’re confused. You said “a pro athlete with many zeroes in his bank account.” However, she’s dating Kris Humphries.

Leave A Comment