The Crap We Missed – Monday 2.6.12

February 6th, 2012 // 546 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed full of treasures like Russell Crowe eyeing up his Blackberry’s next target, Ray J propositioning Whitney Houston with a career-reviving golden shower, Tim Burton feeling the joy of fatherhood and Ashley Tisdale getting this porn plot all wrong. You order the extra sausage, not deliver it. And here I thought Disney was preparing these kids for the sex industry.

Objects in the rear view mirror are closer than they app- JESUS,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer- Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Twitter Super Bowl
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see that all Jess has to do to look OK now is take a self-portrait in a dark bar showing only her face and tits. Career comeback, here she comes!

  2. Tim Burton Sledding Son Billy
    Dink Lincoln
    Commented on this photo:

    In the UK his kid would be the oldest SOBER chauffeur he is likely to find. Well played, Mr. Burton.

  3. Shauna Sand Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Look, like I told those other guys…I don’t even drink coffee, why would I have “half and half”.

  4. Morgan Freeman Glove Scarf
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    I lost a glove this weekend too – Psyche!

  5. Seal Turtleneck Camera Super Bowl
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Brown nail polish on his thumb?

  6. Kirsten Dunst Sundress Pale Skin
    Commented on this photo:

    The sunglasses are to protect her eyes from the glare off her own skin.

  7. Hilary Duff Pregnant Belly
    Dink Lincoln
    Commented on this photo:

    The fifth trimester is always the hardest…

  8. Charlize Theron Carrying Beer
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Beer? Check. Sexy shoes? Check. Now where the fuck is my sammich?

  9. Shauna Sand Tight Dress
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    She actually looks better here than she has in a while, face wise

  10. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    Strong wind is not her friend.

  11. Lingerie Football League
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    #7 is Coco!

  12. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    The vial of Galadriel grants the nosferatu ability to walk in the daylight…

  13. Irina Shayk
    Commented on this photo:

    every time I see her name, I mentally pronounce it “Ivana Shagya”

  14. Mel B Butt Yoga Pants
    Dink Lincoln
    Commented on this photo:

    You all think you’re looking at a woman with a nice butt. Mel B is actually a tranny whose balls are probably a little too large to tuck.

  15. Lingerie Football League
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Was the photographer screaming at the top of his lungs when he took this picture?

  16. Mel B Butt Yoga Pants
    bonerspunk
    Commented on this photo:

    Wasn’t this the flat chested Spice? Let me think….there was Whore Spice, Pedo Spice, Plastic Spice, and Token Black Spice. Have I missed any??

  17. Name (Visible)

    1 word: MOTORBOAT

  18. Lingerie Football League
    Commented on this photo:

    Now this is a game where everybody wins.

  19. Russell Crowe Danielle Spencer Butt Yoga Pants
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    Him – ‘Do I not entertain you?’
    Her – ‘No’ (crosses arms, gets pissy, etc)

  20. Lingerie Football League
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    That doesnt look like lingerie to me

  21. Rumer Willis Huge Jaw
    Dink Lincoln
    Commented on this photo:

    Easter Island called. They’re declaring war if we don’t give it back.

  22. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    The end of “Death Becomes Her” suddenly springs to mind.

  23. Jessica Alba Butt Leather Pants
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    Realises there’s not much junk in her trunk…and so was able to stow her bags of shopping. What luck!

  24. Lingerie Football League
    Commented on this photo:

    So, is there only one team? They huddle up, do a little slap-n-tickle, then start chugging champagne? I guess that does avoid having to explain to them that the ball is supposed to be shaped that way.

    Also, #7…you win.

  25. Ashley Tisdale Short Shorts Pizza
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Her: “Hi, I’m here with the hotbox.”

    Me: “Come right in. See what I did there?”

  26. Mena Suvari Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Dink Lincoln
    Commented on this photo:

    Awwwww, it’s a cute li’l BABY camel-toe.

  27. Seal Turtleneck Camera Super Bowl
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t it time the California Raisins got back together?

  28. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Twitter Super Bowl
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    If I didn’t know that Jessica Simpson had a 10 pound bowl of chili in her stomach (and she’s pregnant too!), I would say her smile and tits are the best.

  29. Whitney Houston Ray J
    Dink Lincoln
    Commented on this photo:

    Crack and car = rock and roll.

  30. Lingerie Football League
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “Alright, I’ll make this very simple. Since you’re all attention whores, this is how this game is going to go down. The more you touch and play with this thing right here, the better shot you have of being on camera.

    Just no fucking teeth is all I ask.”

  31. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    WTF, WTF, WTF,WTF – Too much beige matchy, matchy – including her skin. The facial lesions and nips are a nice touch though – Go old lady, GO!

  32. Rumer Willis Huge Jaw
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she handcuffed to the steering wheel? Time for Bruce “Yippie Kay Ay” Willis to leap into action.

  33. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra
    bob
    Commented on this photo:

    meth tone

  34. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra
    Dink Lincoln
    Commented on this photo:

    Frau Blücher, lookin’ good!

  35. Irina Shayk
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    Better than the last pic – deeeyam!

  36. Mena Suvari Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Kind of an alpaca toe, if you will.

  37. Debra Messing The Today Show
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s as surprised as we are that she’s on the Today Show again.

  38. Morgan Freeman Glove Scarf
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    He killed my wife. Why don’t you believe me?

  39. Lingerie Football League
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    Who said sexist? Not me!

  40. Michael Pitt Hoodie Red Sunglasses
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    If he was in high school, they’d make him go through a metal detector.

  41. Lingerie Football League
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    This is OK but they banned monkeys riding greyhounds?

  42. Lingerie Football League
    arnieblackblack
    Commented on this photo:

    If those are marks out of ’20′. It’s pretty accurate

  43. Randy Travis Mugshot Public Intoxication
    Commented on this photo:

    …and THAT’s why old women sit & talk about old men.

  44. Randy Travis Mugshot Public Intoxication
    Manthou Artdust
    Commented on this photo:

    Giving Lyle Lovett a run for his cartoon-faced money.

  45. Artie Lange
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I still love Artie.

  46. Lingerie Football League
    TimmyB
    Commented on this photo:

    WHO DOES #2 WORK FOR?!?

  47. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Dammit Grandma, stop wandering away!

  48. Artie Lange
    MarkM
    Commented on this photo:

    Watch for his next book…”Too fat to stab myself to death.”

  49. Jessica Alba Butt Leather Pants
    GeorgeWBush
    Commented on this photo:

    She use to have a great ass, now its in the same league with Pippa’s

  50. Rumer Willis Huge Jaw
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the worst, meanest picture I’ve ever seen on this site.

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