Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed full of treasures like Russell Crowe eyeing up his Blackberry’s next target, Ray J propositioning Whitney Houston with a career-reviving golden shower, Tim Burton feeling the joy of fatherhood and Ashley Tisdale getting this porn plot all wrong. You order the extra sausage, not deliver it. And here I thought Disney was preparing these kids for the sex industry.
Objects in the rear view mirror are closer than they app- JESUS,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer- Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Good to see that all Jess has to do to look OK now is take a self-portrait in a dark bar showing only her face and tits. Career comeback, here she comes!
In the UK his kid would be the oldest SOBER chauffeur he is likely to find. Well played, Mr. Burton.
Look, like I told those other guys…I don’t even drink coffee, why would I have “half and half”.
I lost a glove this weekend too – Psyche!
Brown nail polish on his thumb?
One can only hope…
It’s on all of his fingernails. He regularly gets manicures.
Difficult brown?
The sunglasses are to protect her eyes from the glare off her own skin.
The fifth trimester is always the hardest…
Beer? Check. Sexy shoes? Check. Now where the fuck is my sammich?
She actually looks better here than she has in a while, face wise
Because she’s not trying to do anything with it. But maybe she can’t.
The darker it is the better Shauna looks.
Ha! Nice one, Doc.
Strong wind is not her friend.
Neither is the sun, a lit match, or any light source at all.
Neither is her complexion.
#7 is Coco!
The vial of Galadriel grants the nosferatu ability to walk in the daylight…
every time I see her name, I mentally pronounce it “Ivana Shagya”
I pronounce it “Iron Shiek”
You all think you’re looking at a woman with a nice butt. Mel B is actually a tranny whose balls are probably a little too large to tuck.
Wasn’t this the flat chested Spice? Let me think….there was Whore Spice, Pedo Spice, Plastic Spice, and Token Black Spice. Have I missed any??
she was the token black spice… you left out jock strap spice
Was the photographer screaming at the top of his lungs when he took this picture?
1 word: MOTORBOAT
Now this is a game where everybody wins.
Him – ‘Do I not entertain you?’
Her – ‘No’ (crosses arms, gets pissy, etc)
That doesnt look like lingerie to me
Easter Island called. They’re declaring war if we don’t give it back.
The end of “Death Becomes Her” suddenly springs to mind.
Realises there’s not much junk in her trunk…and so was able to stow her bags of shopping. What luck!
So, is there only one team? They huddle up, do a little slap-n-tickle, then start chugging champagne? I guess that does avoid having to explain to them that the ball is supposed to be shaped that way.
Also, #7…you win.
Her: “Hi, I’m here with the hotbox.”
Me: “Come right in. See what I did there?”
Awwwww, it’s a cute li’l BABY camel-toe.
Isn’t it time the California Raisins got back together?
+1. We’ve got to be the only two people on the planet to remember that dreadful ad campaign.
Make that 3. I’m witcha on this
If I didn’t know that Jessica Simpson had a 10 pound bowl of chili in her stomach (and she’s pregnant too!), I would say her smile and tits are the best.
Crack and car = rock and roll.
“Alright, I’ll make this very simple. Since you’re all attention whores, this is how this game is going to go down. The more you touch and play with this thing right here, the better shot you have of being on camera.
Just no fucking teeth is all I ask.”
WTF, WTF, WTF,WTF – Too much beige matchy, matchy – including her skin. The facial lesions and nips are a nice touch though – Go old lady, GO!
Is she handcuffed to the steering wheel? Time for Bruce “Yippie Kay Ay” Willis to leap into action.
meth tone
meth laugh lol
Frau Blücher, lookin’ good!
Better than the last pic – deeeyam!
Kind of an alpaca toe, if you will.
She’s as surprised as we are that she’s on the Today Show again.
He killed my wife. Why don’t you believe me?
Who said sexist? Not me!
If he was in high school, they’d make him go through a metal detector.
If he was in high school, he’d be getting the crap kicked out of him at least twice a day.
This is OK but they banned monkeys riding greyhounds?
If those are marks out of ’20′. It’s pretty accurate
ha ha different strokes–i think number 2 is hawt!
…and THAT’s why old women sit & talk about old men.
Giving Lyle Lovett a run for his cartoon-faced money.
I still love Artie.
WHO DOES #2 WORK FOR?!?
+1 for the Austin Powers reference
Dammit Grandma, stop wandering away!
Watch for his next book…”Too fat to stab myself to death.”
She use to have a great ass, now its in the same league with Pippa’s
I blame the pants.
Yeah, pretty sure that’s grade A ass hidden in there
This is the worst, meanest picture I’ve ever seen on this site.
you’re right