Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed full of treasures like Russell Crowe eyeing up his Blackberry’s next target, Ray J propositioning Whitney Houston with a career-reviving golden shower, Tim Burton feeling the joy of fatherhood and Ashley Tisdale getting this porn plot all wrong. You order the extra sausage, not deliver it. And here I thought Disney was preparing these kids for the sex industry.
Objects in the rear view mirror are closer than they app- JESUS,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer- Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Sweet zombie jesus! I’ve seen Alien, I know what’s coming next.
Nothing makes Whitney smile quite like a night of crack and golden showers!
That’s a look more associated with an open fly
I thought he was dead? I’m not joking, I thought he committed suicide like 2 years ago.
He tried
He’s apparently still trying. With carbs.
Give him time….he’ll eventually get it right.
Out of frame: her personal assistant who follows her everywhere with a brass pole.
I never seen someone look so solemn while riding a sled down a hill, but knowing Tim Burton he is creating some sort of wicked nightmare along the way.
Maybe he’s just annoyed that he can’t sled with his kid without some assface taking a picture.
hmm…what could the “B” possibly stand for.
it stands for “bloody nice behind” – because we’re classy here at the superficial (fuck you, pippa – that’s an ass worth taking photos of).
Her full Christian name is Mel Bear Pig.
Butterface
And where have you been Mr. and what have you been doing?
It’s Pippa!
is that sign showing how the mafia deals with dogs who talk to the feds?
Are you there yet? Are you? Are you? Are you there yet?
sex tape in 3..2..1…
I feel bad saying anything mean about her. She can’t help that her face looks like a silly-putty impression of a gorilla.
Wish I had a nickel for every time that kid is going to hear “Why is your dad so weird?” from other kids.
When the kid responds, “You must not have seen my Mom yet”, you know he’s in trouble.
Lately, she always seems to be posing against a brisk breeze, a strong draft, or gale-force winds. Hmmmm…
Looks like Hollywood finally told her to get out.
Ohhhh. Curssica. This explains the Patriots’ loss.
I assume he lost the other glove challenging some punk ass to a duel.
Actually he was in an accident which fucked up his hand.
Was that the car accident with the mistress that got him divorced?
Probably, I think he was drunk, stoned or something along those lines also.
He lost a duel to Darth Vader.
Not seen: Johnny Depp wearing eyeliner, a weird wig and holding a vintage film camera.
He really should go back on the heroin.
The things a guy has to do to keep cred in the Honky Tonkin’ ‘hood…
Is that her skin between her sweater and pants or is she wearing like a skinsuit. WTF am I looking at?
I don’t know but it’s looks fucked up
I’m scared.
Oh, come on. Who wears those shoes to go to BevMo?
In L.A.? Everybody. In some neighborhoods, even the dudes.
It’s such a pain in the ass to own a cardboard powered Prius.
Someone should tell Superman about Brainac being arrested.
Hehe
If I had to work with Paula Abdul, I’d be smoking a lot too.
Pizza Pizza
Marshawn Lynch got a nice boob job, I see.
Crazy eyes? I’m not crazy! YOU HEAR ME BITCH, I’M NOT CRAZY!!
Must be hipster chic to look like a ladybug
Well, if you believe old wives’ tales, she’s going to have a girl.
(Oh, she’s announced it’s a boy. Oh, well.)
And Iiiiiiiiii willll alwaysss love crackkkk.
That’s one ugly dog
And there is a sign there clearly indicating that all dogs must be on a leash.
That settles it. I have in in the 2012 Death Pool.
He’d already been in ten fistfights just that morning.
Nice thumb ring… and tits
Those pumpkin carving templates are getting scary.
You never go full Nolte
How do I use these “keys” thing again?
Relax Debra, the sign says “no smoking”, go ahead and fart.
It cost a fortune, but Bruce had her air bag made out of Kevlar.
Sharp and clever! Well done!
And not only are they hot, but the one of the right is a better QB than Tom Brady.
I’d rather eat the pizza
+1,000,000
“…you’re…one, ugly mother…fuc-”
“RAWRRRRRRRRR!!!”
solid
“It’s cool baby, my dick makes chicks FAMOUS!”
“CRACK!
“uh yeah, we can smoke up too”
“CRACK!”
“uh, that’s all you’ve said all night”
“CRACK!”
“damn…50 year old pussy ain’t worth this”
If he had white hair he’d be Archie Bunker.
I didn’t know j-Lo was up the (Hilary) Duff
Jellybeans and wine…oh THAT’S how she stays in…that…shape.
Nonsense, she’s hot. I’m talking *Sally Fields* hot!
She put the ‘B’ in hubba, hubba!
Simon hates it when he burps up whoever it was he just ate.