The Crap We Missed – Monday 2.3.14

February 3rd, 2014 // 528 Comments

Don’t even act like you don’t know who that is.

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’ll just shoot it to you guys straight. It’s snowing like a motherfucker here and that puts me in a mood most foul, so instead of trying to make this post seem more interesting than a goddamn flaming-hammer-of-justice wielding ambulance chaser I’ll just go ahead and lower that bar. There’s Dexter spitting in the general direction of the paparazzi – SCANDAL!, David Hasselhoff driving what must be one of those french fry grease powered cars, and Woody Allen who’s apparently allowed to bring his own treats into sporting events.

What? Oh, I crossed the line? My apologies, he’s real stand-up dude, I shouldn’t have,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. John McCain Yellow Teeth Laughing Dinner For The Munich Security Conference At Munich Residenz
    Fancy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Can someone get him some of those Crest White Strips?

  2. Shia LaBeouf Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Combat Boots Blue Socks
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Off to your house-painting job, I presume?

  3. Woody Allen Holding Daughters Shoulders Knicks Game
    Fancy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Because everything looks better through Pink Eye Lenses

  4. Ireland Baldwin Butt Yoga Pants Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the new Coco Instagram filter all the rappers are talking about?

  5. Ashton Kutcher Mila Kunis Pregnant Fat Face Weight Gain
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess the USS Douchebag just returned to port.

  6. Queen Elizabeth Peeking From Behind Tree Church Service
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, that Sting gets ALL the pussy.

  7. Ashton Kutcher Mila Kunis Pregnant Fat Face Weight Gain
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I give it another 6 months.

  8. Cate Blanchett 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Never one to back down from a challenge, Cate re-enacted Woody’s “Crush all the mean accuser’s heads” game…

  9. David Hasselhoff Screaming Race Car 2014 Acceleration Press Conference Katwijk The Netherlands
    Commented on this photo:

    When the hunger overcomes you, you’ll practically do anything for a burger…

  10. Naomi Watts Liev Schreiber Climbing Rope
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Mommy’s already taught her that if you’re beautiful enough, you can just make the man do all the climbing FOR you.

  11. Shia LaBeouf Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Combat Boots Blue Socks
    Commented on this photo:

    Great, now he’s straight-up jacking homeless people’s look…

  12. Rod Stewart Holding Nose Penny Lancaster Backseat
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s about time for you to update for a newer model, Rod.

  13. Tom Arnold Skinny Weight Loss DIRECTV 8th Annual Celebrity Beach Bowl
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell?!

  14. Taylor Swift Fan Being Thrown Out Of Concert
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    …And any hope of convincing his family that he’s not gay just got thrown out with him.

  15. Tracy Morgan Fat Belly Lifting Shirt Up Loss DIRECTV 8th Annual Celebrity Beach Bowl
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Tracy Morgan just got himself PREGNANT!

  16. Ireland Baldwin Butt Yoga Pants Instagram
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    She always delivers.

  17. Taylor Swift Fan Being Thrown Out Of Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    He just wanted a song about him… Mission accomplished.

  18. Micaela Schaefer Naked Body Paint Huge Stuffed Bear Berlinale
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m guessing that’s an everyday street sight in Berlin?

  19. Jennifer Tilly Cleavage Holding Alex Trebeks Hand 2014 Writers Guild Awards Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Trebek, you ol’ dog you…. Motorboat away!

  20. Heather Locklear No Makeup
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    How many times has her agent told NOT to go out in daylight without feeding on a virgin first?!?

  21. Ireland Baldwin Butt Yoga Pants Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought it was Coco. I should’ve known it was Ireland because of her hair, but from this angle I damn sure wasn’t looking at her head first.

  22. Cate Blanchett 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is how we Aussies roll a fatty.”

  23. Ireland Baldwin Butt Yoga Pants Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    i stare forlornly at the mirror, heavily saddled with the reality that I do not have another “Dis how chicken ____” joke in me. I search the weeded over back alleys of myself, but it’s like trying to pour a shot out of an empty liquor bottle.
    My thoughts turn to fantasy: In another world, I win the lottery and can afford Joanna Krupa as my wife. We have sex every night in the missionary position, and I force her to say “Dis how chicken fuck”. She doesn’t understand my proclivity for the phrase. “Americans” she thinks to herself, yet she loves the phrase, because it always brings me home.

    Then a singular reverie that pulls my consciousness back to earth: What if there is another Krupa joke? What if there’s one more in there? Hope dawns. Perhaps, Much like the proverbial chicken egg itself, I could pull it out of my ass.

  24. Heather Locklear No Makeup
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch ain’t got no spank.

  25. Pink Backup Dancer Feeling Her Crotch
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a scene from Sad Max.

  26. Ashton Kutcher Mila Kunis Pregnant Fat Face Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damnit, I’m in Jacksonville…”

    “Damnit, Ashton Kutcher is in ME!”

  27. Cate Blanchett 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Said Cate “No matter how emotionally or how fucked up it is that Woody married his step-daughter, I’m doing his fucking movies.”

  28. Tom Arnold Skinny Weight Loss DIRECTV 8th Annual Celebrity Beach Bowl
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    See, Phillip, heroin DOES have some benefits after all!

  29. John McCain Yellow Teeth Laughing Dinner For The Munich Security Conference At Munich Residenz
    Commented on this photo:

    RINO with bad teeth.

  30. Cate Blanchett 29th Santa Barbara International Film Festival
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me try that again:

    Said Cate “No matter how emotionally scarred Dylan is or how fucked up it is that Woody married his step-daughter, I’m doing his fucking movies.”

  31. David Hasselhoff Screaming Race Car 2014 Acceleration Press Conference Katwijk The Netherlands
    Commented on this photo:

    He feels the need. The need for speed…and hamburgers.

  32. John McCain Yellow Teeth Laughing Dinner For The Munich Security Conference At Munich Residenz
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    He forgot his armband.

  33. Queen Elizabeth Peeking From Behind Tree Church Service
    Commented on this photo:

    “You see it WAS Lord Farkelsham, in the Library, with the Candlestick!”

  34. Michael C Hall Spitting At Paparazzi
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    You got something there in your chin

  35. Shia LaBeouf Skinny Jeans Tucked Into Combat Boots Blue Socks
    Commented on this photo:

    Lady in the back. I’ll give you $50 to kick him in the ass right now.

  36. Pink Backup Dancer Feeling Her Crotch
    Commented on this photo:

    Guy on the right:

    “Yep…that’s a dick alright”

  37. Ireland Baldwin Butt Yoga Pants Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow. Alec and Kim must be proud.

  38. Stephen Baldwin Rutger Hauer Michael Madsen Sights Of Death Pre Berlinale Party NUR BAR
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    The three heroin addicts who lived this week.

  39. Ashton Kutcher Mila Kunis Pregnant Fat Face Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    I can smell him from here.

  40. Kim Kardashian Fat Stuffed Into Tight Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    MOOOO! Goddamnit, MOOOOO!

  41. Kim Kardashian Fat Stuffed Into Tight Clothes
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    gossamer

  42. Heather Locklear No Makeup
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    Still awesome from the neck down. That’s why God invented doggy style.

  43. John McCain Yellow Teeth Laughing Dinner For The Munich Security Conference At Munich Residenz
    Commented on this photo:

    Teeth so yellow that when he smiles, Dorothy makes it to OZ.

  44. Alyssa Milano Cleavage Maxim Big Game Weekend Super Bowl Party
    Commented on this photo:

    If a piece of film is what passes for a bra in Germany then I’m in.

  45. Ashton Kutcher Mila Kunis Pregnant Fat Face Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the in look now? Dressing like your a member of Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. Is that what it takes to get Mila Kunis?

  46. Woody Allen Holding Daughters Shoulders Knicks Game
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    So nice of him to take all those kids to the game for free.

  47. Chris Christie Holding Helmet Super Bowl XLVIII Handoff Ceremony
    Hugh G. Rection
    Commented on this photo:

    What a stupid fat fuck. He was the only one with a chance to keep Hilary out of the White House, but he blew it for some petty bullshit.

  48. Alyssa Milano Cleavage Maxim Big Game Weekend Super Bowl Party
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Note to self: Don’t borrow clothing from Helena Bonham Carter again.

  49. Queen Elizabeth Peeking From Behind Tree Church Service
    Commented on this photo:

    WORLDSTAR!

  50. Jon Gosselin Sticking Tongue Out Maxim Big Game Weekend Super Bowl Party
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    “I really should of used my tongue, instead of my dick.”

Leave A Comment