The Crap We Missed – Monday 2.24.14

February 24th, 2014 // 506 Comments

Welcome to a very full-size Monday’s The Crap We Missed thanks to a weekend stuffed with crazy. We’ve got Simon Cowell nursing his baby mama, the reemergence of Paula Deen and her undying penchant for making men behave like service animals, Jermaine Jackson‘s hair, brought to you by Sharpie™, and this picture of Seal in which I pose to you an important question.

Is it more irrational for a grown man to be wearing capris, or to be seriously contemplating the murder of his own child for getting fingerprints on that camera lens? Discuss,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Brett Ratner Peace Sign Chateau Marmont
    JW
    Commented on this photo:

    I want TWO orders of shrimp cocktail waiting for me in my trailer…

  2. Kim Kardashian Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    How isn’t she toppling over?

  3. Paula Deen Riding Robert Irvine Back Onstage Food Network South Beach Wine And Food Festival
    Meshuggah Tits
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is how you can ride your Negro around if your diabetes starts to fatigue you.”

  4. Alexander Skarsgard Grocery Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Magnums…Magnums…Here we go.

  5. Brett Ratner Peace Sign Chateau Marmont
    Meshuggah Tits
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re doing The Shocker® wrong, dude.

  6. Romain Zago Getting Blown By Joanna Krupa Bikini
    Meshuggah Tits
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dis how chicken eat.”

  7. Mel Gibson Crazy Eyes Full Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought he only drove Volkswagens…. and Panzers.

  8. Alexander Skarsgard Grocery Store
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    Stocking up on those complimentary pregnancy tests he hands out to all women within his immediate vicinity.

  9. Jon Voight Scruffy Beard Son James Haven
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the one Jolie used to fuck?

  10. Brett Ratner Peace Sign Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not the Shocker, that’s the Shrimper.

  11. Simon Cowell Shirtless Hairy Manboobs Lauren Silverman
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    I pretty sure this shot of “Simon Cowell’s Baby Mama Breastfeeding in Public” got some pap photographer fired after he sold it.

  12. Aubrey ODay Cleavage Bikini Instagram
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a neat trick the carpet is doing near her hips and waist. Must be a black hole back there.

  13. Seal Son Henry Sitting On Lap Holding Camera At Soccer Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “Say cheese Daddy!”

    “Chee…Wait…is that..IS THAT MY CAMERA? YOU LITTLE FUCKSTAIN I’M GOING TO KILL YOU.”

  14. Paula Deen Riding Robert Irvine Back Onstage Food Network South Beach Wine And Food Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “See? I ride white people as well!”

  15. Paparazzo Logan Fazio Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That was a wide angle lens before she took the bathing suit cover up off.

  16. Weston Cage Long Dyed Black Hair Pregnant Wife Danielle Cage Kasem Cares Foundations 1st Annual Fundraiser
    Commented on this photo:

    I never knew Rasputin married.

  17. Courtney Love Drunk High 18th Annual Satellite Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “What? I won four nights at Chateau Marmont?”

  18. Forest Whitaker Kissing Lupita Nyongo 45th NAACP Image Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddam, Grace Jones looks younger every day.

  19. Simon Cowell Shirtless Hairy Manboobs Lauren Silverman
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture is heartwarming… parents relaxing after giving a 2 week old baby a bag of Fritos for lunch.

  20. Romain Zago Getting Blown By Joanna Krupa Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “Joanna, there is no way I’m increasing the size of my role on that damn show.”

    “Dis how chicken eat. Peck.”

  21. Debby Ryan Legs Romper Heels Abercrombie And Fitch The Making Of A Star Spring Campaign Party
    kafak
    Commented on this photo:

    Eh.

  22. Christopher McDonald Perv Stache Los Angeles Italia Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    You know what else could draw a crowd? A golfer with an arm growing out of his ass.

  23. Raquel Welch Sticking Out Tongue Old Cleavage 16th Costume Designers Guild Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dis how chicken die”.

  24. Jermaine Jackson Flat Top With Lines Shaved Into Hair The Jacksons Presentation Planet Hollywood Resort And Casino
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    If Conrad Murray can get rid of this one, we’ll throw him a party.

  25. Alexander Skarsgard Grocery Store
    Commented on this photo:

    Shown here rendering prophylactics inert just by looking at them.

  26. Kim Kardashian Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Kim,

    here is some haiku for you.

    The dairy air
    from your derriere
    I cannot bear.

    Moo.

  27. Shekhar Rahate Maitland Ward Cleavage Nipple Spandex Dress Shekhar Rahate Oscar Awards Fitting Fashion Show
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the troll came out from under the bridge.

  28. Courtney Love Drunk High 18th Annual Satellite Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Excuse me while I puke on your microphone….”

  29. Kim Kardashian Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Carport.

  30. Mel Gibson Crazy Eyes Full Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s both ironic and just that as he ages, he looks more Jewish.

  31. Khloe Kardashian Hugged By Overexcited Fan
    Commented on this photo:

    “CATCHING BIGFOOT SELFIE!”

  32. Kim Kardashian Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah that’s not a fat injected ass at all. LOL

    Google pics of this lying whore in 2006 and then in 2007 and you can see the time period she started doing it.

  33. Romain Zago Getting Blown By Joanna Krupa Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh well fuck me, two dis how chickens already. dis how joke burn out black microphones saying it all with their eyes.

    See ya on Saturday!

  34. Kim Kardashian Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    she was asked to leave the restaurant after she did this on the patio:

    http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:CowPie-JeffVanuga.JPG

  35. Debby Ryan Legs Romper Heels Abercrombie And Fitch The Making Of A Star Spring Campaign Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Yet another starlet with the face of a 12 year-old.

  36. Seal Son Henry Sitting On Lap Holding Camera At Soccer Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “daddy, will I end up with that shit on my face?”

  37. Weston Cage Long Dyed Black Hair Pregnant Wife Danielle Cage Kasem Cares Foundations 1st Annual Fundraiser
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Women will literally sleep with anything.

  38. Shia LaBeouf Filthy Clothes Mia Goth Tank Top Grocery Shopping
    crb
    Commented on this photo:

    “I love the smell of a shopping-cart full of Massengill in the the morning… -Smells like me plagiarizing Francis Ford Coppola.”

  39. Al Pacino Lucila Sola Cleavage Los Angeles Italia Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Tony Stark, Lounge Lizard.

  40. Simon Cowell Shirtless Hairy Manboobs Lauren Silverman
    Commented on this photo:

    So is the baby being breastfed by Lauren while Simon breastfeeds Lauren?

  41. Khloe Kardashian Hugged By Overexcited Fan
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! Khloe pays her “fans” a $100 to pretend to be fighting for a photo of her?

  42. Shia LaBeouf Filthy Clothes Mia Goth Tank Top Grocery Shopping
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s seven paper bags. Should last me the rest of the week!”

  43. William Shatner Huge Belly Destination Star Trek Germany Convention
    Commented on this photo:

    Ich bin ein Shatner.

  44. Hugh Jackman Son Oscar Yellow Moonboots Razor Scooters
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I think that kid is adopted, but he somehow inherited his father’s… flair?

  45. William Shatner Huge Belly Destination Star Trek Germany Convention
    Shayne
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what you will about Captain Kirk getting fat in his old age, but that man right there is 83 next month. He could pass for a plump 55.

  46. Kanye West Full Lenght Fur Coat
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the same jacket Khloe was wearing last week with the message on it?

  47. William Shatner Huge Belly Destination Star Trek Germany Convention
    Commented on this photo:

    “Captain, there be whales here!”

    “Fuck you, Scotty.”

  48. Khloe Kardashian Hugged By Overexcited Fan
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess Lou Diamond Phillips will do anything for $100 now.

  49. Alexander Skarsgard Grocery Store
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hmm, why do four different brands of pregnancy tests have my picture on the cover?”

  50. Hilary Swank Butt Dress Wedgie Salvatore Ferragamo Fashion Show Fashion Week Milan
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice dress-wedgie.

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