The Crap We Missed – Monday 12.9.13

December 9th, 2013 // 408 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which is set predominantly in Miami, because cold weather is for poor people. So while everyone from Texas to Pennsylvania got shellacked in the dick with ice this weekend, famous celebrities went to the beach for their bizarre mating rituals and to light money on fire. Please join me in slamming on them via our real mom, the Internet, for she never makes us feel guilty about how much more time we may or may not be spending at the in-laws this Christmas even though nobody set a time yet and probably won’t until the day before. Family holiday time, yay!! Anyway, here’s Patrick Dempsey making Chris Martin look like a Hell’s Angel, Hoda Kotb in a bikini because I’ve been dead inside for a long, long time, and Jonathan Rhys Meyers at Lady Gaga‘s secret show, so at least we all know who donated the cocaine sculptures.

Ok guys, no “low-hanging fruit” Farrah Abraham sex tape jokes on this one. You can do better than that,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Lady Gaga Bra Panties Jean Jacket
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m starting to think she’s TRYING to look peculiar.

  2. Mischa Barton Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    A true method actress…already practicing her part as a toothless old grandma.

  3. Joaquin Phoenix Girlfriend Allie Teilz Nipples No Bra LAX
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s dating Samantha Ronson without the track marks? That’s quite a score.

  4. Audrina Patridge Wonky Eyes Cleavage Hyde Bellagio Vegas
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to just use one of those CSI cum finder lights on her.

  5. Gerard Butler Horsing Around With Dudes
    Commented on this photo:

    I hear banjos.

  6. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Polkadot Sundress Selfie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I would ask “Is she finally going to go to jail this time?” but I know better than that. She’ll just blow her way out of jail again.

  7. Neon Hitch Nipple Slip KIIS FM Jingle Ball
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    She’d have to be named Courtney Love for me to be any less interested in nipple.

  8. Amy Adams See Through Blouse American Hustle Premiere New York
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst. Lois. Ever. *pulls down pants and proceeds to wan-BEEP this is a family site!*

  9. Jennifer Nicole Lee Cleavage Ill Fitting Shirt Rico Love Annual Birthday Celebration Art Basel Miami
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone else wears something black and you can see through it. You think you’re better than everyone else Jenn?!

  10. Lady Gaga Bra Panties Jean Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    Such a weirdo. Still would.

  11. Hayden Panettiere Wladimir Klitschko Heart Hand Symbol Ein Herz Für Kinder Charity Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    So nice of Klitschko to bring his young daughter alon-WHAAAA?

  12. Lina Nilson Bikini Lenny Kravitz Roberto Cavalli
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank you Roberto for introducing me to your girlfriend/the woman I’ll be banging in 20 minutes (15 if you go the fuck away right now).

  13. Neon Hitch Nipple Slip KIIS FM Jingle Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    “My name? I noticed it after I swallowed all that chrome…..”

  14. Lady Gaga Bra Panties Jean Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    Is London really so far behind the times that she’s still interesting over there?

  15. Mischa Barton Butt Tight Jeans
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    At what point does one cease to be famous? I have to feel like it was as soon as she reached the intersection.

  16. Carla Gugino Cleavage American Hustle Premiere New York
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait she was in Man of Steel too? As a VOICE???? *Starts forming a posse to attack Zack Snyder with torches and pitchforks, abandons idea when can’t get anyone to join posse*.

  17. Bret Michaels Jumping Split Bret Michaels Band 26th Annual Toys In The Sun Run
    Commented on this photo:

    All I want for Christmas is my hair back.

  18. Ozzy Osbourne Looking Confused Lether Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    How’s that blood pressure, Lobster Man?

  19. Patrick Dempsey No Socks Loafers Riding Vespa
    Ladypants
    Commented on this photo:

    Your move, Disick!

  20. Hayden Panettiere Wladimir Klitschko Heart Hand Symbol Ein Herz Für Kinder Charity Gala
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Herz Fur Kinder? I always pictured her as shaven.

  21. Steven Tyler Goatee Holding Two Small Dogs
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone likes a Dirty Sanchez.

  22. Paparazzo Logan Fazio Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    The paparazzi are taking picks of other paparazzi now? This is some inception shit.

  23. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Polkadot Sundress Selfie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay should take care to copyright this image. I hear the guys at Rockstar are getting inspired.

  24. Adam Lambert Kathy Griffin TrevorLIVE Los Angeles Benefit
    ultra
    Commented on this photo:

    so, which jonas brother is this one?

  25. Simon Cowell Drunk Open Shirt Man Boob Chest Hair Cigarettes Girlfriend Lauren Silverman
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this is the first time I’ve seen undermoob on someone that was under 500lbs.

  26. Lindsay Lohan Cleavage Polkadot Sundress Selfie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    How do you ‘shop a phone pic?

  27. Carla Gugino Cleavage American Hustle Premiere New York
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the opposite of my Mischa Barton question… when is Carla Gugino going to stop being hot? (I’m going to guess no time soon or the day before I get to bang her.)

  28. Steven Tyler Goatee Holding Two Small Dogs
    ultra
    Commented on this photo:

    i like the tranny anti-stretch mark goatee.

  29. Lady Gaga Bra Panties Jean Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice look, I guess I missed the Fraternity Pig Call….

  30. Olivia Wilde Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    The Importance of Paying for Parking, by O. Wilde

  31. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans Buying Carrots Whole Foods Son Luca
    Commented on this photo:

    Six hundred bucks for a bunch of carrots? Even the child disapproves..

  32. Britney Spears Zombie Face Sweatsuit
    Ladypants
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll let you have extra whipped cream on that gingerbread latte if you call me Wilmer Valderrama in front of the paparazzi.”

  33. Carla Gugino Cleavage American Hustle Premiere New York
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Truly a natural beauty!

  34. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans Buying Carrots Whole Foods Son Luca
    Commented on this photo:

    Just thought of her new sex toy line, “Stuffed by Duff”

  35. Gerard Butler Horsing Around With Dudes
    Commented on this photo:

    Gerard Butler and the Butlee’s

  36. Simon Cowell Drunk Open Shirt Man Boob Chest Hair Cigarettes Girlfriend Lauren Silverman
    Commented on this photo:

    That baby is going to have anemia if it latches on to Simon, and a mouth full of chest hair.

  37. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans Buying Carrots Whole Foods Son Luca
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The Mexican in back is wondering if it’s worth violating parole.

    I say violate away… all over the cauliflower.

  38. Bar Refaeli Butt Tight Pants Lady Gaga Secret Gig Annabells
    Commented on this photo:

    That night a young blond woman wowed the crowd. And also someone called Lady Gaga was there.

  39. Mischa Barton Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s some serious cankle when you can’t even get the boots zipped up.

  40. Patrick Dempsey No Socks Loafers Riding Vespa
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve had hot, sweaty sex with other men that was less gay than this.

  41. Paparazzo Logan Fazio Butt Bikini
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    How do we get Jennifer Nicole Lee to take pics of her and not the other way around?

  42. Paparazzo Logan Fazio Butt Bikini
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s been too long since Logan has graced these pages. Her turd cutter is unparalleled.

  43. Hoda Kotb Bikini
    Greg
    Commented on this photo:

    Hodor?

  44. Patrick Dempsey No Socks Loafers Riding Vespa
    sc4play
    Commented on this photo:

    1983 called and it wants its sweater back, bro!

  45. Bar Refaeli Butt Tight Pants Lady Gaga Secret Gig Annabells
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice

  46. Bar Refaeli Butt Tight Pants Lady Gaga Secret Gig Annabells
    Really ?
    Commented on this photo:

    Strangely warm in the shires last night. This explains everything.

  47. Audrina Patridge Wonky Eyes Cleavage Hyde Bellagio Vegas
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet her boyfriend is always really self-conscious about his hair.

  48. Jeremy Renner American Hustle Premiere New York
    Commented on this photo:

    ” I swear I grabbed tranny boob.. you gotta belive me!

  49. Joaquin Phoenix Girlfriend Allie Teilz Nipples No Bra LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    Is his man boobs bigger than hers?

  50. Hoda Kotb Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I…I…think I’d be more comfortable if she had camel toe

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