Welcome to your usual super-sized Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is once again stuffed to the gills with a weekend’s worth of celebridiculous. I’m just going to jump right in here and start rattling them off: Khal Drogo dressed like a carnie knife-thrower, Kurt Russell strutting his beautiful prize around town, the continuing adventures of Russell Simmons and all of Russia’s prostitu– You know what? I can’t even wait anymore, here’s Kim Kardashian‘s gigantic herpes outbreak. *grabs handful of rocks, waits for first person to go ‘Dude, that’s just a pimple.’*
Don’t you dare try to take this from me, I’VE WAITED SO LONG!!
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
We’re supposed to believe that someone who’s trying to figure out how to use a pen wrote a book?
This picture really needs no caption.
“STOP calling, Suri! You’re Daddy’s problem for the next 6 days. Mommy has old boyfriends to look up!”
… but so does Daddy.
Ha!
Without the nips, I barely recognize her.
I think her shorts are on backwards…
Is there a pull-chain to splash herself with water?
Wheres the chain!!!
XENU! I have told you I am not coming back!
I honestly don’t understand what’s happening from the knees down.
I, on the other hand, am having a problem understanding what is happening from the head down.
From the toes on up, is my issue.
I am just having an issue
tissue anyone?
So nice to see British street urchins helping each other out.
That dog knows when it’s about to get fed…
Those high beams need some adjustment.
I first read that as “thigh beams”.
Then I realized the mistake is actually yours.
Sadly, this is pretty far from the least dignified photo shoot he’s done, even this year.
17 year old Adam Sandler is gonna have a *SUPER* spank tonight.
And of course, he’s peeing while riding it.
The he-beast has tits? I’m so confused now.
Arnold is playing Moe in the Three Stooges sequel.
Goldie: “Yep, my plan is working honey. Nobody is looking at my face!”
Kurt: “Couldn’t you have had a little class and just grown a full beard, like I did?”
I’m pretty sure that yellow thing is the three eyed fish from Springfield
Actually, I thought it was Guy Fieri.
Santa’s sleigh full of booze.
Hopefully there is a burger in there somewhere…thin frakker!
that’s awesome. i just did a little in my pants.
Forget the dollhouse, little girl. Santa is bringing you Valtrex this year.
Valtrex!!! Is that like a super-hero doll!!! Yes please!
It’s nice to see one of Santa’s elves supporting the Jingle Ball.
The Rokurokubi is real!
No wonder kanye likes her doggy style!
He’s a serial ogler.
No shit. Every pic of this old codger has him inspecting his latest rental like Jessica Simpson eying a plate of Chilis cheese fries.
She looks pretty calm for someone being photographed half naked in a rape shack.
Folks linin’ up outside just to get down
Everybody’s movin’, everybody’s groovin’ baby
Funky little shack! Funky little shack!
I’m going to be kind and say it was the waxing. She is Armenian, after all.
“Yo,yo, yo, ah used to eat this shit as a kid, meng”
“haha, no, seriously, these are actual turds”
heroin…its what’s for dinner.
“But when she got there, Raarf! The cupboard was bare, RAARF!…”
Oh please, help me! I’ve been stuck on this thing for weeks now!! WHY WON’T ANYONE HELP ME?!?!?!
This fat bastard just shat himself.
At least it’s not Courtney Stodden.
Puerto Rico… university…lol.
wtf?
Please tell me this is a movie set. He’s my hero
You like banging homely, latino maids too?
“Come with me, if you want to go to SuperCuts.”
I bet Kanye blamed that on Amia Miley too.
What the fuck do you mean, your inbox is full?!?!? PICK UP, Joshua!!!!
oh no….
not you too, Shawn
“OK Guy, let’s BROWN it a little…now add some BLACK EYED peas….Now BEAT an egg and toss it in. Mmmm…this would go great with a glass of PUNCH.”
The first time in history anyone from Cirque du Soleil has been ashamed.
Free Willy 5 : The Depardieu
Holy shit this is the first time I have ever seen Guy in something that has sleeves.
Unfortunately, not even the Incredible Hulk was able to drag the Black Widow out of the Shawarma restaurant.
He escaped from New York. He escaped from L.A. But not even he can get away from this woman.
Ewwwwwww *insert gross vagina joke here*
I’m going to go out on a limb and assume someone from Nikon Coolpix advertising agency is in the market for a new job today.
I can see the ad agency’s pitch now ‘…this is the part where the emaciated hasbeen with a failing liver drags some ho onto the salt flats to dig for clams…all Christmas themed of course…’
He looks like the fourth Stooge.
“My question is for the both of you…Who would you say has more hair?”
There’s my girl :-)