The Crap We Missed – Monday 12.23.13

December 23rd, 2013 // 343 Comments

Alright guys, it’s the last The Crap We Missed before Christmas and while she isn’t wearing a Santa hat, or condemning gays to Hell, I’m pretty sure Kelly Brook naked practically embodies *clears throat* Jesus’ message on his b-day. “My dad sent me here as a gift to you all to absolve your original sin. Two thousand some odd years from now, when you’ve managed to almost completely negate everything I’ve ever said in the name of personal indulgence, I will send you down a British (I know, surprised the hell out of me that’s still a thing, too!) angel to restore your faith in natural beauty. Try not to nail her to a cro– And goddamnit, I can see you’re calling her fat already. Forget it. Loki, do your thing man, I’ve had it.”

Amen,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Psy Nipples Sweat Soaked Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    The answer to “Least Googled photo: 2013″

  2. Kelly Brook Topless Sideboob Buttcrack Naked Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    So, exactly how many Christmas lists is she on?

  3. Amy Willerton Yoga Male Trainer Touching Butt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Where’s the rest of his pack?”- Mel Gibson

  4. Simon Cowell Hairy Chest Man Boobs Lifevest Jetski
    Commented on this photo:

    This is like Eastbound and Down if Kenny Powers were a bigger douche.

  5. Tommy Lister Grabbing Womans Neck
    mt
    Commented on this photo:

    I met this guy around 2000, shortly after 5th element.
    I’m 6ft tall, and he was a really big dude. Nice guy.

    I met Stallone too, but he was chin high with boots/lifts.
    He rode a Harley, and looked like a midget on it… loll

  6. Ron Jeremy Talking To Fat Chick Rainbow Room
    mt
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy was a pig, in his prime. The girls used to hate
    working with him, he never showered. 30 years later,
    I don’t think he can close his mouth any more.

  7. Simon Cowell Hairy Chest Man Boobs Lifevest Jetski
    Commented on this photo:

    Cut it out you guys, you’re just jealous. Thing does zero to douche in nothing flat.

  8. Leonardo DiCaprio With Tobey Maguires Kids
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    *sniff* it never hurts me when my daddy punches me in the arm.

    yeah, well, your daddy’s a pussy.

  9. Adrien Brody Yelling At Children Action Center Post Sandy Holiday Party
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay, everyone stop what they’re doing and help Sasha find her contact lens.

  10. Hilary Duff Butt Leather Pants
    crb
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally. One of her with her face in it

  11. Simon Cowell Hairy Chest Man Boobs Lifevest Jetski
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    The opening credits to Douchewatch

  12. Earvin Johnson III Cheetah Slippers Scarf
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Slow dancin’, swayin’ to the music…

  13. Jaden Smith Touching Tree Trunk Eyes Closed
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Slow dancin’, swayin’ to the music…

  14. Earvin Johnson III Cheetah Slippers Scarf
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy crap, the site is possessed! You post on one picture and suddenly, it switches to the previous where your comment suddenly makes no sense!

    I need a young priest and an old priest….

  15. Amanda Seyfried Blowjob Face Justin Long
    Ironballs McGillicutty
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nah, Justin, his was like this big. But your’s is cute, too. Don’t even worry about it.”

  16. Earvin Johnson III Cheetah Slippers Scarf
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s so stylish. I love him, and want all his shoes and purses.

  17. Demi Lovato Double Chin Blue Hair Derpface Y100’ Jingle Ball
    blerg
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care what any of you say, I’d totally hit it. That shit would look like an open face roast beef sandwich when I was done too.

  18. Jaden Smith Touching Tree Trunk Eyes Closed
    Commented on this photo:

    Acting lessons in progress.

  19. Chick Corea Stevie Wonder 18th Annual House Full Of Toys Benefit Concert
    Father Dougal
    Commented on this photo:

    Just an FYI to all you boorish philistines who wouldn’t know good music if it teabagged your grandma, that there feller, Chick Corea, is one wickedly talented genius on the keyboards in his own right. Too much concentrated musical awesome for one picture to contain right there.

    …shame he looks like such a creepy motherfucker, mind you.

  20. Keith Urban Nicole Kidman Parents 50th Wedding Anniversary
    icu
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one is the chick?

  21. Jaden Smith Touching Tree Trunk Eyes Closed
    Father Dougal
    Commented on this photo:

    I applaud his brave attempt to remove that permanent stunned expression from his stupid face. No wonder he looks troubled, it’s the first time he has ever been photographed without it.

  22. Jack Nicholson With Son Raymond Nicholson At Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Steve Holt!

  23. Chick Corea Stevie Wonder 18th Annual House Full Of Toys Benefit Concert
    Odbarc
    Commented on this photo:

    He really Is blind… tee hee.

  24. Psy Nipples Sweat Soaked Shirt
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m too sexy for my shirt.”

  25. Gwen Stefani Pregnant Belly Sweatpants Son Kingston
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh for fuck’s sake. This is what happens when two hipster douches have a kid.

  26. Kurt Russell Western Wear Cowboy Hat
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    This is normal attire in Aspen. He probably bought that out of a Sundance catalog.

  27. Demi Lovato Double Chin Blue Hair Derpface Y100’ Jingle Ball
    dick thunder brain doctor
    Commented on this photo:

    when I heard she had a drinking problem, I did not know she was drinklng Crisco.

  28. Adrien Brody Yelling At Children Action Center Post Sandy Holiday Party
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    What adolescent black girl doesn’t dream of raising the roof with Adrien Brody?

  29. Jaden Smith Touching Tree Trunk Eyes Closed
    dick thunder brain doctor
    Commented on this photo:

    What is an an asshole and an ash with a hole for 1000 alex

  30. Tommy Lister Grabbing Womans Neck
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    Incidentally, has there been a Suge Knight biopic yet?

  31. Nick Nolte Red Face Overcoat Hat
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    I see Sam Spade’s retirement is going well.

  32. Kelly Brook Topless Sideboob Buttcrack Naked Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Alert the internet – we have areola. I repeat – we have areola.

  33. Creepy Old Guy Taking Picture Of Cheryl Burke Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    “See, kids – your Dad does get what this whole Instagram thing is all about!”

  34. Psy Nipples Sweat Soaked Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Eat your heart out, Miley.” – Margaret Cho, Christmas 2013

  35. Siegfried And Roy Boys And Girls Club Of Southern Nevada Christmas Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK, now kids, who wants to pet a TIGER?!?!”

  36. Jack Nicholson With Son Raymond Nicholson At Lakers Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m real proud of you, son. Your Christian Slater impression is getting better and better.”

  37. Pamela Anderson Saggy Ass
    Commented on this photo:

    If Rue McClanahan and Amber Rose had a lovechild…

  38. Sean Penn Taking A Walk Smoking Cigarette
    Commented on this photo:

    Harvey Milk…maid.

  39. Russell Simmons Doing Yoga On The Beach
    Commented on this photo:

    I know what you’re thinking after looking at this photo, but Phil Robertson is still wrong.

  40. Earvin Johnson III Cheetah Slippers Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    I know what you’re thinking after looking at this photo, but Phil Robertson is still wrong.

  41. Simon Cowell Hairy Chest Man Boobs Lifevest Jetski
    Rochefort
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe if he stopped buying things two sizes too small he might actually be able to properly fasten things like a life vest or a condom.

  42. Chick Corea Stevie Wonder 18th Annual House Full Of Toys Benefit Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    Those of us with normal vision take many things for granted, but there’s nothing quite as heart-warming as the gift that a seeing eye porn reader can give to the differently sighted.

  43. Leonardo DiCaprio With Tobey Maguires Kids
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, see, Leo, it really is fulfilling to be a parent and see the joy in their eyes, the love in their hearts, and….”

    “I broke up with Bar Rafaeli because I met someone hotter.”

    “Never mind.”

  44. Keith Urban Nicole Kidman Parents 50th Wedding Anniversary
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    The only wrinkle between them is on his shirt.

  45. Brooke Burke Charvet Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    It was only a short walk, but at least five little kids tried to stick their Santa letter in it.

  46. Sean Penn Taking A Walk Smoking Cigarette
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    I can understand a guy having a monobrow, but a monobreast?

  47. Siegfried And Roy Boys And Girls Club Of Southern Nevada Christmas Party
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    I would have bet money it was David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen but I was a couple years early.

  48. Russell Simmons Doing Yoga On The Beach
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Amazing. It looks like the hat does actually come off once in a while!

  49. Nick Nolte Red Face Overcoat Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Mike Hammered and the case of missing scotch’

  50. Siegfried And Roy Boys And Girls Club Of Southern Nevada Christmas Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “Okay kids into the tiger cage – girls go first”

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