The Crap We Missed – Monday 12.2.13

December 2nd, 2013 // 423 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you after I took four days doing absolutely nothing while Fish waged war with a slow girl from Alaska or something. Shit was long. As for today’s socially acceptable bullying (NOBODY KNOWS YOUR REAL NAME IN THE COMMENT SECTION MUAHAHA!), here are your sacrificial lambs. There’s Taylor Swift doing that thing where she’s occasionally hot and almost makes you forget she’s just absolutely awful. Then we’ve got Donny Deutsch showing off his new ink that he got using his time machine that only travels back to a frat house in 1998, and Naomi Campbell enjoying the simple, humanitarian pleasure that one gets from philanthropy. Well, that and the elaborate ceremony she attended in her honor where a head of state kissed her ass.

But it was probably that first thing that put this shit-eating grin on her face, yeah it was that for sure,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Aubrey O'Day Butt Bikini Dog Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought the Lady of the Lake gave Arthur a sword, not a lap dog.

  2. Goldie Hawn Cleavage Tank Top Yoga Pants Busted Lips
    Commented on this photo:

    Sad Goldie is sad.

  3. Kirstie Alley Tight Dress GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    Purple People Eater.

  4. Steven Tyler In Car With Young Girl
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey, did you make sure they sprayed the undercarriage, too? HABBADDA SHABBADDA BAPPADDA WOOO!”

  5. Prince William Motorcycle Live Show NEC
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Queen Elizabeth and I are proud to present a new tradition, the Royal Smurfs on Wheels….

    Take it away Pretentious Smurf.

  6. Jason Schwartzman Watching Daugher Marlowe On Pony
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “When can I have a turn?”

  7. Ashley Benson Panties Orange Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Lemon party?

  8. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Thick.

  9. Dita Von Teese Nipples No Bra Phantom Der Oper Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Camouflaged old.

  10. Erik Estrada Red Jacket Badge On Hip 82nd Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade
    Commented on this photo:

    Undercover bean dip.

  11. Joanna Krupa Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes please.

  12. Erik Estrada Red Jacket Badge On Hip 82nd Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade
    Commented on this photo:

    They can make colostomy bags look like anything these days.

  13. Bradley Cooper Amy Adams Cleavage American Hustle Presentation
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought he died this weekend? No?

  14. Charlie Sheen New Pornstar Girlfriend Brett Rossi Makeout
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Yet another classic example of how far hard work, and strong morals can get you ahead in this world.

  15. Sharon Osbourne Louis Walsh Laughing
    Commented on this photo:

    Sharon’s telling him about the man whose wife cut his dick off, threw it in the garbage disposal and turned it on. Sharon’s always found it hilarious.

  16. Aubrey O'Day Butt Bikini Dog Instagram
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Where the fuck is PETA when you need them?

  17. Donny Deutsch Fat Gut Man Boobs Tribal Bicep Tatoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, I just got it. The guy at the tattoo parlor said it would make me look tough and sexy. Soooo…… Can I bang you wife, now?”

  18. Maria Shriver Yoga Pants
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    A well fed raptor will show a fullness of it’s cheeks and a healthy
    glow to its skin.

  19. Donny Deutsch Fat Gut Man Boobs Tribal Bicep Tatoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Holiday weekend in Miami: $4300
    Tribal tattoo from ’98: $150.
    Finally being able to comfortably hold hands with boyfriend in public: priceless!

  20. Rob Ford Red Face 47th Cavalcade oOf Lights Toronto
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wave to the sniper, Rob…..”

  21. Taylor Swift Cleavage Winter Whites Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m far from a fashion critic, but haven’t we seen this dress on Taylor Swift? A hundred times?

  22. Coco Butt Tight Jeans Stuffing Turkey With Sister Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it possible to retroactively lose your appetite?

  23. Goldie Hawn Cleavage Tank Top Yoga Pants Busted Lips
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok.. seriously… how the fuck do you get Turkey neck, and Frozen Face at the same time?

    Isn’t that a violation of Plastic Surgery Bylaws or something?

  24. Martin Scorsese Cheek Kiss Sharon Stone Side Boob 13th Marrakesh International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s a real life Muppet.

  25. Vince Offer ShamWow Guy With Young Girlfriend LAX
    Commented on this photo:

    remember when he beat some hooker that bit his tongue? Or he bit a hooker’s tongue and then she beat him? I don’t remember exactly how it happened, but it was hilarious.

    • She told him no kissing, he jammed his gross lizard tongue in her mouth anyway, she bit it, he beat her …

      … and apparently went on to find a girl who is okay with her boyfriend being a woman-beating, hooker-fucking, melty-faced, simian nightmare.

      We live in a very strange world.

  26. Dita Von Teese Nipples No Bra Phantom Der Oper Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d put some colour in her. Get it? Because I’m black and she’s ghostly white. So when I have sex with her… fuck it. I’ll let myself out.

  27. Steven Tyler In Car With Young Girl
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “Told you to take the last right, ignorant twat.”

  28. Ashley Benson Panties Orange Instagram
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Duck face is gone.
    Lemon Face has arrived.

  29. Gavin Rossdale Gwen Stefani Pregnant Boobs American Hustle Presentation
    Commented on this photo:

    Eddie Munster and Cousin Marylin.

  30. Alicia Keys Huge Butt Tight Dress ARIA Awards Star Casino
    Commented on this photo:

    Her body shape has always been weird.

  31. Patricia Clarkson Nipples Cleavage No Bra 13th Marrakesh International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    And suddenly I’m hungry for pancakes.

  32. Bradley Cooper Amy Adams Cleavage American Hustle Presentation
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks quite adorable here.

    Bradley needs to grow his hair longer…short hair makes his snout look big.

  33. Rihanna Checking Out Laker Girl
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m warning you, bitch, look at me just one more time and I’m gonna get all Sharkeria on your bitch ass.”

  34. Kristen Bell Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks board.

  35. Martin Fischedick
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s way better than being named Mike Hunt.

  36. Kirstie Alley Tight Dress GMA
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress deserves an award for heroically holding her plum shaped body in some measure of check.

  37. Goldie Hawn Cleavage Tank Top Yoga Pants Busted Lips
    Commented on this photo:

    And suddenly I’m NOT hungry for pancakes.

  38. Cara Santana Butt Bikini Jesse Metcalfe
    Commented on this photo:

    “I got mine!”

  39. Ashley Benson Panties Orange Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    When life gives you lemons…SELFIE!

  40. Sharon Osbourne Louis Walsh Laughing
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Somehow Louis just didn’t believe that Sharon had her vagina tightened…..

    (Go look it up. It still gives me nightmares.)

  41. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Pants
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear her ass is the only thing that ever gets photographed.

  42. Billy Ray Cyrus 82nd Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade
    Commented on this photo:

    Are those stupid sunglasses surgically attached to his face?

  43. Patricia Clarkson Nipples Cleavage No Bra 13th Marrakesh International Film Festival
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    I would.

  44. Charlie Sheen New Pornstar Girlfriend Brett Rossi Makeout
    cory
    Commented on this photo:

    Winner winner Sheen dinner.

  45. Erik Estrada Red Jacket Badge On Hip 82nd Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Erik, the belt buckle goes in the front you dipshit.

  46. Erik Estrada Red Jacket Badge On Hip 82nd Annual Hollywood Christmas Parade
    Commented on this photo:

    Normally I would make fun, but I’ve met this guy a couple of times in the last few years at charity events and he couldn’t be nicer or more accommodating to the hundreds of people that ask to get their photo taken with “Ponch.”

  47. Jason Schwartzman Watching Daugher Marlowe On Pony
    cory
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s SJP doing a farmer’s market?

  48. Charlie Sheen New Pornstar Girlfriend Brett Rossi Makeout
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, Charlie, but if everyone can buy her for $84, it just ain’t worth your time.

    http://www.penthousestore.com/couples-and-toys/penthouse-toys/penthouse-reg-pet-brett-rossi-pussy-ass/49050/

  49. Alicia Keys Huge Butt Tight Dress ARIA Awards Star Casino
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m suddenly in the mood for a banana split.

  50. Goldie Hawn Cleavage Tank Top Yoga Pants Busted Lips
    Commented on this photo:

    No, no. no, no!

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