“Ohmygod, is that Tom helping that window washer churn butter? He’s so helpful.”
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Superman looking way more manlier than I remember, Crystal Harris somehow not back on the pole yet and Shane Warne absolutely serving David Beckham. Like watching Mike Tyson punch Samuel L. Jackson’s character in Unbreakable – when he was a baby.
Alright, who traveled back in time and stepped on a butterfly?
- The Superficial
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Hmm. Wasn’t this the gem that left Hef at the altar? Do I get a biscuit? Kick in the nuts?
I HAD forgotten who she was. Thanks. Now if only the media would forget that these people exist we would be golden.
Only if we could work on forgetting the Kardashians first.
She jilts Hef and trashes him in the press, but Playboy’s still inviting her to stuff? Um…okay.
Hef must have Alzheimer’s .
It’s the und-a-wear that’s fun-ta-wear!
So what song is the Pakistani Lesbian Grandmother going to play for us?
“We know that Kim’s mouth will open this wide!”
Not Pictured: The biggest black microphone EVER!
So what song is the Pakistani Lesbian Grandmother going to play for us on her fiddle?
Did she ditch the fat guy? No wait, that isn’t Amber Portwood (or IS it?).
Now wait, where did he get grocery money?
Someone drowned in that blue lagoon and the body washed ashore.
“What the fuck? You give Kim the black mic and I get the gray one?”
But he’s already Black Mike!
I miss seeing her make out with her gay son.
This IS her gay son
I hear he’s forming a new band called The Rocking Chair Doilies.
Wait. The “World’s Sexiest Man” is wearing a jacket. Over ANOTHER jacket. Way to pick the smart ones, ladies.
she looked less batshit crazy when she was doping and boozing.
I bet she was a better lay back then, too.
There’s a guy named Brooke Shields?
Yes but he prefers to be called Anita Bidet.
Hey, after his comments about the Kuntrashians, he could wear leisure suits and I’d still say he’s a bad ass.
Well, now I feel a little better about Kat rebuffing my advances.
Why yes, I am saucy, thank you.
See, just bend your spine a little more and even anorexic chicks can have an ass.
Why is she everywhere all of a sudden?
Shit.
We import crap like DWTS and American Idol and not shows like this?
From occupy wall street to the beach, yeah this guy really made me want to support those idiots.
One Sting photo today was plenty.
“Xenu? Are you calling me to the Promised Land? Even though I haven’t yet done my 5 years of hard labor on one of the Church’s Kidnap Clippers?”
So this is what Hayden Panettiere’s asshole looks like now.
Fuck you you took my line dammit, now what am I going to post. lol
You both took mine then.
She woke up today and was like “Im either gonna 1)get fucked in the ass and marry the guy or 2) I’m going to kill myself.”
Heads.
Damn.
Manpurse works with the . . .felt hat?
I still say she looks like Jim Norton in the matrix.
There’s always a black lady in the background saying it all with her eyes..oh wait…….
Now, lemme lick that off of you. Please?
Ready to ‘splode.
Motivational sideways ribcage tat.
FAIL.
She’s looking at the thetan that just left her body.
Dude, that better be a camera case…cuz if not, combined with the hat and scarf, you’ve got an express pass to an E-ticket ass kicking.
Oh boy, she’s just like all the rest of those richy riches; lets get the child a bounce house..oh boy. (sticks finger down throat)
Sting looks more like “Stang” every day.
staged photos make me want to kick stuff
“Our last name begins with ‘Klit’. What did you expect us to to do, Herbert?”
“Yo, where the midget ho’s at?”
Confirmed. It’s a dude.
She’s not anorexic, she just doesn’t eat enough.
Looks like another candidate for the final five
She was on the Final Five just two weeks ago. Did not get such good reviews back then.
“Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I’d wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.”
LIKE
nice
Cancer
Fabienne had a point it seems… Nice one.
Based on the bared canines and furry muzzle I must conclude that Brooke Shields has been bitten by a werewolf. Good for her, after all this time she finally did something interesting!
“Fear me mortals, for my vagina can crush coal and make a diamond!”
She should consider trimming her pubic hair.
Ha!
I’ve got the sinking feeling we’re no more than 18 months from an “empowering” nude appearance in Playboy that will show us all how 50 year old women “can still be sexy”.
Thanks for the heads-up. I’m going out to the pharmacy to stock up on antiemetics and pairs of eyepatches.
I don’t care how much weight you lost, there are some things you don’t wear in public
And this is Celebuzz’s woman of the year!
Clearly Celebuzz and Nobel share the same exacting standards.
Harry & William are such idiots and you can see they would love to be tapping Pippa.