The Crap We Missed – Monday 12.19.11

December 19th, 2011 // 677 Comments

“Ohmygod, is that Tom helping that window washer churn butter? He’s so helpful.”

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Superman looking way more manlier than I remember, Crystal Harris somehow not back on the pole yet and Shane Warne absolutely serving David Beckham. Like watching Mike Tyson punch Samuel L. Jackson’s character in Unbreakable – when he was a baby.

Alright, who traveled back in time and stepped on a butterfly?

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Crystal Harris Christmas Sweater
    Gerttastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmm. Wasn’t this the gem that left Hef at the altar? Do I get a biscuit? Kick in the nuts?

  2. Serena Williams Superman Pajamas
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s the und-a-wear that’s fun-ta-wear!

  3. Sting Scarf
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    So what song is the Pakistani Lesbian Grandmother going to play for us?

  4. Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko Heart Hands
    Commented on this photo:

    “We know that Kim’s mouth will open this wide!”

  5. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    Not Pictured: The biggest black microphone EVER!

  6. Sting Scarf
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    So what song is the Pakistani Lesbian Grandmother going to play for us on her fiddle?

  7. Vanessa Hudgens Austin Butler Make Out
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she ditch the fat guy? No wait, that isn’t Amber Portwood (or IS it?).

  8. Pete Wentz
    Gerttastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Now wait, where did he get grocery money?

  9. Brooke Shields
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone drowned in that blue lagoon and the body washed ashore.

  10. Mike Tyson
    Commented on this photo:

    “What the fuck? You give Kim the black mic and I get the gray one?”

  11. Stephanie Seymour Cameltoe Tight Pants
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    I miss seeing her make out with her gay son.

  12. Sting Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    I hear he’s forming a new band called The Rocking Chair Doilies.

  13. Bradley Cooper
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait. The “World’s Sexiest Man” is wearing a jacket. Over ANOTHER jacket. Way to pick the smart ones, ladies.

  14. Demi Lovato Shredded Skirt
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    she looked less batshit crazy when she was doping and boozing.
    I bet she was a better lay back then, too.

  15. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a guy named Brooke Shields?

  16. Daniel Craig Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, after his comments about the Kuntrashians, he could wear leisure suits and I’d still say he’s a bad ass.

  17. Kat Dennings
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, now I feel a little better about Kat rebuffing my advances.

  18. Gary Oldman
    Gerttastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Why yes, I am saucy, thank you.

  19. Sharni Vinson Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    See, just bend your spine a little more and even anorexic chicks can have an ass.

  20. Sinead O'Connor Leather Outfit
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is she everywhere all of a sudden?

  21. Melissa Satta Fishnets Legs Spread
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit.
    We import crap like DWTS and American Idol and not shows like this?

  22. Russell Simmons Shirtless Beach Workout
    Commented on this photo:

    From occupy wall street to the beach, yeah this guy really made me want to support those idiots.

  23. Sinead O'Connor Leather Outfit
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    One Sting photo today was plenty.

  24. Katie Holmes
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Xenu? Are you calling me to the Promised Land? Even though I haven’t yet done my 5 years of hard labor on one of the Church’s Kidnap Clippers?”

  25. Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko Heart Hands
    Commented on this photo:

    So this is what Hayden Panettiere’s asshole looks like now.

  26. Sinead O'Connor Leather Outfit
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    She woke up today and was like “Im either gonna 1)get fucked in the ass and marry the guy or 2) I’m going to kill myself.”

    Heads.

    Damn.

  27. Kat Dennings
    Gerttastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Manpurse works with the . . .felt hat?

  28. Sinead O'Connor Leather Outfit
    Commented on this photo:

    I still say she looks like Jim Norton in the matrix.

  29. Pete Wentz
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s always a black lady in the background saying it all with her eyes..oh wait…….

  30. Pete Wentz
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Now, lemme lick that off of you. Please?

  31. Hilary Duff Covers Face
    Gerttastic
    Commented on this photo:

    Ready to ‘splode.

  32. Catherine McNeil Bikini
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Motivational sideways ribcage tat.
    FAIL.

  33. Katie Holmes
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s looking at the thetan that just left her body.

  34. Kat Dennings
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, that better be a camera case…cuz if not, combined with the hat and scarf, you’ve got an express pass to an E-ticket ass kicking.

  35. Melissa Joan Hart Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh boy, she’s just like all the rest of those richy riches; lets get the child a bounce house..oh boy. (sticks finger down throat)

  36. Sting Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    Sting looks more like “Stang” every day.

  37. Vanessa Hudgens Austin Butler Make Out
    Problem?
    Commented on this photo:

    staged photos make me want to kick stuff

  38. Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko Heart Hands
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    “Our last name begins with ‘Klit’. What did you expect us to to do, Herbert?”

  39. Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko Heart Hands
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yo, where the midget ho’s at?”

  40. Serena Williams Superman Pajamas
    Commented on this photo:

    Confirmed. It’s a dude.

  41. Sharni Vinson Bikini
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not anorexic, she just doesn’t eat enough.

  42. Yulla Voronin Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like another candidate for the final five

  43. Vanessa Hudgens Austin Butler Make Out
    Gerttastic
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pot bellies make a man look either oafish, or like a gorilla. But on a woman, a pot belly is very sexy. The rest of you is normal. Normal face, normal legs, normal hips, normal ass, but with a big, perfectly round pot belly. If I had one, I’d wear a tee-shirt two sizes too small to accentuate it.”

  44. Brooke Shields
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    Based on the bared canines and furry muzzle I must conclude that Brooke Shields has been bitten by a werewolf. Good for her, after all this time she finally did something interesting!

  45. Serena Williams Superman Pajamas
    Joe Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    “Fear me mortals, for my vagina can crush coal and make a diamond!”

  46. Demi Lovato Shredded Skirt
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    She should consider trimming her pubic hair.

  47. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve got the sinking feeling we’re no more than 18 months from an “empowering” nude appearance in Playboy that will show us all how 50 year old women “can still be sexy”.

  48. Jennifer Hudson Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t care how much weight you lost, there are some things you don’t wear in public

  49. Demi Lovato Shredded Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    And this is Celebuzz’s woman of the year!

  50. Kat Dennings
    Commented on this photo:

    Harry & William are such idiots and you can see they would love to be tapping Pippa.

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