The Crap We Missed – Monday 12.19.11

December 19th, 2011 // 677 Comments

“Ohmygod, is that Tom helping that window washer churn butter? He’s so helpful.”

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Superman looking way more manlier than I remember, Crystal Harris somehow not back on the pole yet and Shane Warne absolutely serving David Beckham. Like watching Mike Tyson punch Samuel L. Jackson’s character in Unbreakable – when he was a baby.

Alright, who traveled back in time and stepped on a butterfly?

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Getty, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, Scientology could have kept that tooth from turning brown.

  2. Mike Tyson
    Commented on this photo:

    Hypno-toad is your master Mike Tyson!

  3. Shane Warne Adjusts Cup
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know how you guys keep things straight down there. Genital wrangling…..what a hassle.

  4. Pete Wentz
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom always told me if you can’t say something nice with your eyes… don’t say nothing at all. …”

  5. Russell Simmons Shirtless Beach Workout
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    Bystander: “Russell, for the love of god, suck in that gut!”
    Russell: “I AM sucking it in!”

  6. Shane Warne Adjusts Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not sure what he’s doing, but according to the look on his face he’s doing it wrong.

  7. Jennifer Hudson Minidress
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I dunno about that outfit but she has lost a lot of weight.

  8. Brooke Shields
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    (breathing fast, not blinking)
    “You see, I had a kid and went fucking psycho…..so now I take anti-psychotics and I’m totally normal now!!”

  9. Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko Heart Hands
    Commented on this photo:

    As long as we don’t have to see them rub anything else together.

  10. Vanessa Hudgens Austin Butler Make Out
    Winnie The Who?
    Commented on this photo:

    No a fan of the “butt-gut”

  11. Demi Lovato Shredded Skirt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Well that’s the way I dress when I’m going to go through airport security.

  12. Demi Lovato Shredded Skirt
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re getting fat!

  13. Gary Oldman
    BonVivant
    Commented on this photo:

    No comments? We can take the time to comment on whores and hacks but not a magnificent actor and artist? Well to hell with you all then. Gary Oldman is amazing.

    • Venom

      It is because he is a magnificent actor and not a whore or a hack that he has few to no comments. We come here to destroy the assholes in case you did not notice.

      • farting old man's wife

        Tell it Venom!!

      • cc

        Exactly, what can you do? Looks okay, does some great movies, seems to not act like an asshole. I can even forgive the scarf given that it matches the grey and it’s probably cool enough in London to warrant one.

  14. Russell Simmons Shirtless Beach Workout
    Amy
    Commented on this photo:

    It appears to be a person wearing a suit. Look at the way it moves.

  15. Kat Dennings
    Commented on this photo:

    This Indy uses his striped scarf instead of a bullwhip.

  16. Serena Williams Superman Pajamas
    Commented on this photo:

    White men can’t jump and black woman can’t fly through the air like a speeding bullet.

  17. Stephanie Seymour Cameltoe Tight Pants
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she stuff a calzone down the front of those tights?

  18. Katie Holmes
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    “When Tommy talks to me it looks like this…”

  19. Melissa Satta Fishnets Legs Spread
    Commented on this photo:

    Seconds later she began firing ping-pong balls into the audience, indiscriminately killing one person and injuring three others

    • Get over it

      ping pong balls? try darts! I’ve seen it while holding balloons, they were popping every single one! skills…bitches get down like that. not in America though…what a shame.

  20. Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko Heart Hands
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    I must break you.

  21. Pete Wentz
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    off-camera: delicious Fed-Ex delivery man wearing shorts

  22. Mike Tyson
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    How big are your balls to photobomb Mike Fucking Tyson?

  23. Pete Wentz
    Commented on this photo:

    Losing his grip on heterosexuality.

  24. Melissa Satta Fishnets Legs Spread
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I like the boots. They look sturdy.
    I will ignore everything else here.

  25. Brooke Shields
    Amy
    Commented on this photo:

    So makeup and teeth whitening products don’t make 60 year olds look 30? Damn commercials.

  26. Serena Williams Superman Pajamas
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    flattering.

  27. Sharni Vinson Bikini
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Ali Lohan put on a few pounds, good for her.

  28. Sinead O'Connor Leather Outfit
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the next Batman villain?

  29. Shane Warne Adjusts Cup
    Amy
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s what happens to me when I see David Beckham too.

  30. Katie Holmes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thetan? Is that you?”

  31. Chloe Green Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Not Anorexic.

  32. Russell Simmons Shirtless Beach Workout
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Poor Oprah just cant keep the weight off.

  33. Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko Heart Hands
    Commented on this photo:

    Waiting for the third guy to see if it fits.

  34. Demi Lovato Shredded Skirt
    icu
    Commented on this photo:

    Culture Club doing a reunion tour?

  35. Katie Holmes
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damn. Did he grab a helium balloon AGAIN?!?”

  36. Melissa Joan Hart Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    “I said I would bake the mother fuckin’ gingerbread cookies. Who the fuck decided to… oh, they ARE the ones I made. Never mind then. Merry Christmas everyone, let’s sing some old timey carols.”

  37. Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko Heart Hands
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    If they’re looking for a double date, I’ve got a sister. They’re our type, too.

  38. Sharni Vinson Bikini
    HeyTinyDancer
    Commented on this photo:

    Ali Lohan: Challenge Accepted.

  39. Gary Oldman
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    If his hair continues down this path I figure in about 5 years he’ll be sporting the full-blown poofy Dracula-do 24/7.

  40. Mike Tyson
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ‘stash, Gable.

  41. Catherine McNeil Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Bit of a midsection mess there.

  42. Kat Dennings
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing to see here, apparently everything is just A-OK.

  43. Daniel Craig Scarf
    Commented on this photo:

    Bond, Scarf Bond.

  44. Vanessa Hudgens Austin Butler Make Out
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Show us your BUSH.

  45. Joe Jonas
    Evil Dick Tater
    Commented on this photo:

    In Latin America they refer to him as Yo Yonas… so he’s got THAT going for him, which is nice.

  46. Kat Dennings
    Commented on this photo:

    so hansen is cheating on all their wives now? polygamy and incest? impressive.

  47. Catherine McNeil Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Much better angle. Yes, she has nice tits. Too bad about the brain damage.

    • Snack pack

      It is shoots like this where I’m thankful I didn’t grow up to be a photographer. Could you imagine how long it took and how much coaching was required to finally make her look halfway interesting?

  48. Bradley Cooper
    Buddy the Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Not a fan of the nested Members-Only jackets or the Philly Lid.

  49. Shane Warne Adjusts Cup
    HeyTinyDancer
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, I didn’t know Warne is the new head of ‘The Second Mile’

  50. Pete Wentz
    Commented on this photo:

    He just found out which aisle the balls are on.

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