The Crap We Missed – Monday 12.17.12

December 17th, 2012 // 610 Comments

Welcome to another thick and chunky serving of The Crap We Missed, brought to you by another bountiful weekend full of celebrity droppings. To start things off, we’ve got Christina Aguilera, who cleverly avoided getting tossed into those first two links up there by wearing a tailor-made butt cover. We’ve also got Victoria Silvstedt forgetting to take the cap off to give just the smallest doubt that she’s not really trying to blow a soda bottle, Elijah Wood‘s impression of Darwin The IKEA monkey choking to death on a taco, Hannibal Lecter without the intelligence, charm, wit, class, talent and general likability, and finally, Paz de la Huerta faces her greatest fear — THE SHOWER!!

Two Dinklage days in a row. It’s beginning to feel a lot like Christmas,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Victoria Silvstedt Cleavage Top Model Belgium Awards
    cbrave24
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ladies, this is how you work it. I’ve been at this for quite a long time now, trust me.”

  2. Lady Gaga Leather And Chains Mask
    Commented on this photo:

    oh fer crissakes girl, give it a fuckin rest.

    • Alexis

      I think the freshness factor is definitely on the wane here. You really know you ‘ve lost your edge when you have to work quite this hard to be construed as “edgy.”

  3. Maria Shriver Face Wrinkles Leopard Print Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    she makes HRH Liz look like an angel!

  4. Russell Brand Fuzzy Boots Trident Afghan
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    This is pretty surreal…is that inflatable snowman holding the door for him? (I gotta stop smoking crack).

  5. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage Tight Dress Looking Rough
    Commented on this photo:

    AND with greasy hair. nasty.

  6. Marilyn Manson Oxygen Mask On Ear
    Commented on this photo:

    G.R.O.S.S.

  7. John Mayer Cowboy Hat Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh look, it’s retarded Woody.

  8. Prince Charles Dylan Thomas Birthplace
    Commented on this photo:

    “Apparently he was a rather small fellow now, wasn’t he.”

  9. Prince Charles Dylan Thomas Birthplace
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    “I see. So, the filthy bugga would wank off into the quilts, eh? How dreadful. What is that on your hands, my dear? Oh my, I do hope that is hand lotion.”

  10. John Mayer Cowboy Hat Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    On this episode of “Pussy Slayer”…

  11. Britney Spears Holding Puppy Sons Sean Jaden Starbucks
    Commented on this photo:

    “What the heck was in those brownies?!?”

  12. Britney Spears Holding Puppy Sons Sean Jaden Starbucks
    Commented on this photo:

    “We had Show-n-Tell at school today, Momma, so we took in a bunch of those pictures of you naked with your head shaved…”

  13. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage Spandex Dress
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Josh Lucas in the background? I figured he could do better, you know, dating a human being.

  14. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage Spandex Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Fivehead convention?

  15. Donald Sutherland Miami Dolphins Game
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    “When you have Robert DeNiro’s balls hanging this close to your face, while he quotes Shakespeare…THEN…and only THEN…can you call yourself an actor”.

  16. 50 Cent Drunk DSTRKT Night Club
    Commented on this photo:

    5o Cent waitin’ for change.

  17. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage Tight Dress Looking Rough
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    Her lady parts must be unimaginably moist and hot…like a tropical rain forest. My penis wouldn’t last 5 secs in there.

  18. Paz De La Huerta Eating In The Rain
    Rosalie
    Commented on this photo:

    She really is something, isn’t she.

  19. Havana Brown Cleavage VH1 Divas
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she poseable, like an action figure? That’d be cool.

  20. Khloe Kardashian Butt Tight Red Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, great.. now they can see this shit from space..

  21. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage VH1 Divas
    Commented on this photo:

    Not Attractive.

  22. Madonna Cleavage Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez, the lengths some singers will go to when they can no longer hit the high notes on their own.

  23. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage VH1 Divas
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s ready to dish out some of that Native Love.

  24. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage Spandex Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    I have to admit I am at somewhat of a loss here as to what the problem is with this woman. She has more money than God and is, from my vantage point, very attractive (breast implants notwithstanding). But posters to this site always say rude things and put her down. What did I miss?

    • The fact that she has all that money and still couldn’t be bothered to get a better pair of implants. Seriously, if you’re rich and brought up to have class, you shouldn’t be presenting yourself as indistinguishable from all those pumped-up English reality-show bimbos.

  25. Maryna Linchuk Bikini Victorias Secret Shoot
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s been taking happy lessons from January Jones.

  26. Lady Gaga Leather And Chains Mask
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, and Senator, just one more thing—love your meat suit!”

  27. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Leather Pants Posing With Dolphin Seigfried And Roy Secret Garden
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m suprised they’re not trying to milk it (thou they might’ve done so off camera).

  28. Adam Lambert VH1 Divas
    Taibshe
    Commented on this photo:

    Still more masculine looking than Bieber.

  29. Donald Sutherland Miami Dolphins Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nah, Karen Allen didn’t have much meat on her bones, not in those days, anyway. But Julie Christie…now that was an ass you could grab hold of.”

  30. Havana Brown Cleavage VH1 Divas
    Commented on this photo:

    She is what I meant when I said I wanted to vacation in Havana.

  31. Lady Gaga Leather And Chains Mask
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    She took precautions for her rendezvous with Chris Brown.

  32. Tom Brady Knit Hat Son Benjamin Stroller Pit Bull
    Commented on this photo:

    If this were 1977, these would all be Conehead jokes.

  33. Donald Sutherland Miami Dolphins Game
    Cassi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Let the 75th Annual Hunger Games begin!”

  34. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage Tight Dress Looking Rough
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder if when she unzips that dress that it makes that “phlumf” sound like it does when you break open a can of crescent rolls?

  35. Prince Charles Dylan Thomas Birthplace
    Commented on this photo:

    “And this was Dylan Thomas’s coverlet? Raised a bit of a nancy boy, wasn’t he?”

  36. Havana Brown Cleavage VH1 Divas
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Guaranteed to make Bill Clinton lose his shit.

  37. Victoria Silvstedt Cleavage Top Model Belgium Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    …and with the cap still on the bottle, Victoria put it into her mouth and a few seconds later tilted it upwards and started to drink. Incredibly, the cola was slowly disappearing from the bottle! She chugged and she chugged and then, when it looked like there was nothing left, Victoria took the bottle out of her mouth—now completely empty, but with the cap screwed back on! Or had the cap remained screwed on the whole time? Amazing!

  38. 50 Cent Drunk DSTRKT Night Club
    Commented on this photo:

    In England, he’s known as “4 Shillings, Tuppence.”

  39. Lady Gaga Leather And Chains Mask
    oldfool
    Commented on this photo:

    I still don’t feel safe.

  40. Kelly Osbourne Cleavage VH1 Divas
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, I think it was just last week that I was thinking she might be a decent one-night stand. Hmmm…I better reconcile my medication list.

  41. Charlize Theron Buzz Haircut
    Number 2
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally, a white girl who can pull off this haircut. Though she should shave it to boot, she’s gone this far. Call me.

  42. Maryna Linchuk Bikini Victorias Secret Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice, Indeed.

  43. Maryna Linchuk Bikini Victorias Secret Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes I get the feeling that Life is a black tie party and I’m a pair of cutoffs.

  44. Kendall Jenner Kylie Jenner Leather Pants Posing With Dolphin Seigfried And Roy Secret Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom, we don’t know what you mean by ‘Wrong side, that’s just a fin. On the bottom.’”

  45. Lady Gaga Leather And Chains Mask
    Commented on this photo:

    The only thing she could do to shock me these days is wear jeans and a t-shirt. If she threw on a pair of sneakers, I’d probably fall over.

  46. Paz De La Huerta Eating In The Rain
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s like Eeyore in the sense that she looks sad, she’s in the rain, and wishes someone would stick a needle in her.

  47. Tom Brady Knit Hat Son Benjamin Stroller Pit Bull
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’d watch it, kid. This one came from Vick.”

  48. Marilyn Manson Oxygen Mask On Ear
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s just something off about this photo. I can’t quite put my finger on it….Wait, his gloves are unzipped. That must be it.

  49. 50 Cent Drunk DSTRKT Night Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Needs more diamonds.

  50. John Mayer Cowboy Hat Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Katy is clanking 20 paces behind in a Buzz Lightyear costume staying, you know, incognito.

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