The Crap We Missed – Monday 12.12.11

December 12th, 2011 // 685 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Carrie and the girls back to work on Sex and the City 3 and looking sassier than ever, Christina Aguilera smuggling burritos in those goddamn tights she won’t take off and your newest Internet Meme: Sad Ben Affleck. Not even a dartboard can bring him joy.

Come back at 5 PM EST if you like freckled breasts swinging freely on a beach,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kelly Clarkson Fat
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    How could you not be horny looking at this pic?

  2. Sharon Osbourne
    M
    Commented on this photo:

    Not in picture: Ozzy in an adult diaper.

  3. Shakira Butt Tight Jeans
    eilily
    Commented on this photo:

    DJ Tanner?

  4. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s waiting for those little electrical sparks to jump between his fingers because he’s such a powerful entertainer he can do that.

  5. Demi Lovato Scarf Tights
    M
    Commented on this photo:

    Mexicans. Not just for poor people anymore . . .

  6. Christina Aguilera Tight Pants Matthew Rutler
    slippinx12
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t even talk to her until she’s had her morning gravy frappuccino

  7. Evan Rachel Wood See Through Dress
    M
    Commented on this photo:

    Smiling like she just bit on a lemon.

  8. 50 Cent Piers Morgan
    Commented on this photo:

    This is actually a clip from their new reality show, “Ebony and Ivory.” Fun Fact: Kris Kardashian tried to trademark that name for her future reality show about Khloe and Lamar’s twins, but once they explained to her that science doesn’t really work that way, she relented.

  9. 50 Cent Piers Morgan
    userofalltrades
    Commented on this photo:

    Reminiscing about the time they both banged Chelsea Handler at the same time. (It looked like their intertwined hands)

  10. Sinead O'Connor Jesus Sweatshirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Those Mexicans sure are possessive of their bald women.

  11. Demi Lovato Scarf Tights
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    That outfit is screaming relapse. Or head injury.

  12. David Hasselhoff
    userofalltrades
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey England, I’m mocking you.

  13. Leilani Dowding Bikini
    sprub
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not posing, she’s pausing to let the methane disperse… notice the contented look

  14. David Hasselhoff
    Commented on this photo:

    “Methinks my JNCOS are filling up with stool!”

  15. Evan Rachel Wood See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck you, chick from Twilight. I’m almost transparent.

  16. Evan Rachel Wood See Through Dress
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Being tainted by Marilyn Manson never washes off, no matter how hard she tries.

  17. Sinead O'Connor Jesus Sweatshirt
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Apart from the fact she’s getting married about twice a year and has made herself the semi official spokeswoman for buggery where do people get the idea she’s mad?

  18. Robert Downey Jr. Blue Tipped Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    You cynics! It’s obvious he just destroyed a whole Smurf village.

  19. Cindy Lauper Plastic Surgery Face
    Commented on this photo:

    I see your true colors.

  20. Shakira Butt Tight Jeans
    Drew
    Commented on this photo:

    Still gorgeous, even mid-derp.

  21. Channing Tatum Magic Mike
    Smiley McFartface
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh my God! A BEE! Kill itttt!!!!!”

  22. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    What does it mean when you’re the trashiest person at a UFC event? How does the universe deal with you?

    • Jill

      Quite unfortuenately, the universe seems to respond by supplying him with an endless supply of Ed Hardy shirts, so the rest of us can know true suffering. To quote Fish,, it’s all very mystical.

  23. Jenny McCarthy Cleavage Side Boob
    Drew
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t wait until the army of jealous fatties come in defending that horrible looking tit.

    • Jezebel

      Hey, I’m chunky but my tits look way better than that. Probably because of my up-to-date routine vaccine schedule.

  24. Christina Aguilera Tight Pants Matthew Rutler
    userofalltrades
    Commented on this photo:

    It just goes to show that slurping seamen on mass is more slimming than wine.

  25. Demi Lovato Scarf Tights
    slippinx12
    Commented on this photo:

    Luis Guzman is going to hit that

  26. Christina Aguilera Tight Pants Matthew Rutler
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    As your doctor I’m obliged to ask – have you considered heroin?

  27. David Hasselhoff
    Commented on this photo:

    David just loves to show of his skill at firing off rubber bands at the paparazzi

  28. Shakira Butt Tight Jeans
    BAHAH
    Commented on this photo:

    Booty, booty, booty, rockin’ everywhere!

  29. Robert Downey Jr. Blue Tipped Shoes
    Commented on this photo:

    When in Rome, do as if the Romans would if they lived on the moon.

  30. Channing Tatum Magic Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    He has no idea that he is acting out his fantasy of kneeing Bradley Cooper in the face.

  31. Courtney Love Cleavage
    BAHAH
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck am I looking at right now.

    • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

      Oddly, the same thought was going through her mind when this photo was taken. That, and “Who am I, where am I, and does anyone expect me to speack coherent English? Damn, I’m wasted!”

  32. Sinead O'Connor Jesus Sweatshirt
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like ET with lymphoma.

  33. Cindy Lauper Plastic Surgery Face
    Drew
    Commented on this photo:

    Does eating count as something fun girls like to do?

  34. Cindy Lauper Plastic Surgery Face
    Commented on this photo:

    I used think Taylor Momsen was hot, now not so much.

  35. Khloe Kardashian Head Wrap
    Commented on this photo:

    Lamar had better brand this one before the cattle rustlers make off with her.

  36. Shakira Butt Tight Jeans
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    R.I.P. to another formerly hot woman.

  37. Ali Larter Chest Bones
    BAHAH
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s pretty, but…Sometimes I think she has a mouse/chipmunk face?

  38. Gwen Stefani
    userofalltrades
    Commented on this photo:

    “I guess that wasn’t just a fart…”

  39. Christina Aguilera Tight Pants Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    Starting on the WB in January – Fatty and the Hipster.

  40. Demi Lovato Scarf Tights
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s just that…she has girth in all the wrong places :(

  41. Leilani Dowding Bikini
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hideous swimsuit. Take it off.

  42. Shakira Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s good to see how the Jessica Simpson diet is working out for Shakira…poorly.

  43. Paula Patton Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to see the other half, please.

  44. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that Maria is taking him to the cleaners, he has to attach a chain to his wallet to protect what money he has left.

  45. Kelly Clarkson Fat
    Commented on this photo:

    Good thing she wore that warm hat – i hear it gets chilly down there.

  46. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    Get avay from me if you vant to live!

  47. Christina Aguilera Tight Pants Matthew Rutler
    BAHAH
    Commented on this photo:

    Christina, leggings don’t look good on you, jeggings don’t look good on you, jeans don’t look good on you, dresses don’t look good on you, sweats don’t look good on you…

    Just stay indoors for now on.

  48. Gwen Stefani
    Commented on this photo:

    So she got up this morning and decided to look like Ivana Trump?

  49. Ben Affleck
    Commented on this photo:

    Absolutely not his real hair.

  50. Stacy Keibler Butt Tight Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Must kill the Clooney.

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