Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you just before Americans face the difficult decision between the Socialist Muslim gay-loving apocalypse or Gordon Gekko’s wet dream about the time he and Reagan robbed a homeless guy then used the money to tag team a prostitute on his dad’s jet. Democracy, yeah! While you ponder that important choice, enjoy Ryan Gosling‘s new look, as designed by Joe Simpson‘s swag coach, Richard Grieco blowing a kiss in front of a giant Rorschach vagina, invisible Salma Hayek stabbing Melanie Griffith with a knife, the undeniable conclusion that Kristina Shannon ate her sister, and finally, everybody shut up! Katy Perry‘s breasts are trying to tell us something.
This post sponsored by Smug™ — Now in delicious coconut flavor!
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
“Salty…hmmm…must be a booger”
“Mr. Baldwin, we have your ex-wife on the phone!”
“I AM THE DESSERT KING! I CAN EAT ANYTHING!”
Ho ho. The last time I saw a mouth like that it had a hook in it.
What a wuss, she can’t even hold the damn thing.
I bet a Tommy tank from her is akin to being jacked off by a six day old lettuce.
That’s an amazing collection of words you just assembled there. Or I just don’t watch enough porn to know what the fuck you’re talking about.
It seemed more amusing in my head.
Now it seems a bit shit :)
#YahooSeriousFestival
Thanks for the new catchphrase, I’ll be using that.
“I look like Jon Hamm in these glasses…sluuuuurp.”
I bet his pants don’t make him look like Jon Hamm.
creepy!
Looks like she bet on Sarah Jessica Parker.
Russel Brand. Eat your heart out.
Someone owns stock in Maybelline.
We need more shots of those grass skirts gals.
TRULY CREEPY!!
Laura Tingle.
I see the Devil’s face in the drape above her head. Coincidence?
“Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?” – Ron Burgundy
Yep, you’re right, that is one dirty pirate hooker.
“Hm? Sorry I was picturing Whore Island. ”
– Sterling Archer
“That’s not a real place…is it?”
Fish must have purchased the LivingSocial deal for a lifetime supply of Rita Rusic pictures for $3.99.
“Lifetime supply for $3.99″
That seems like a lot for one picture.
she borrowed diane keaton’s big floppy hat. she’s gone retro on us, kids.
Bill Clinton is lurking in the area, isn’t he?
Let me guess…ummm…Jennifer Lopez? No? Oh wait…I know…MOOOOOOO!
That hat is about to take flight.
God bless Simmons. That crazy old dude just keeps pulling ass, doesn’t he?
It’s good but give him a couple of years and the guy who did that’ll be able to do one on top of a cappucino
Antonio Banderas seen giving two ghosts a hand job.
oh fuck. not again.
Mark had trouble containing himself knowing that he could win that soccer game himself. against both teams. That’s how awesome he (thinks) he is.
“Can you believe I’ve gotta answer questions from Fox News? Damn it!!”
Even Richard Simmons would be embarrassed to be seen like this.
Did NOT have to see this.
I’d harpoon that ass.
I’d go pile-driver, no doubt.
Can I go first ? Thanks
they needed somebody for non-comic relief.
“Storing for the winter, whats it to you?”
burritos. lots and lots of burritos.
She’s with Eddie? Check her for a cock.
Brilliant :)
I’m concerned about her diet. That is not a shiny coat.
Just needs more carrots.
“Mom is scary, year ’round…not just on Halloween”.
Keep smoking, Chloe. It’s *bound* to improve your appearance eventually….
I had heard it was going to be a dramatic makeover, but Macaulay Culkin may have gone a little far with it.
Wow! Who is she?
From Wikipedia:
Jennifer Joanne Metcalfe (born 4 September 1983) is an English actress. She joined the cast of soap opera Hollyoaks in June 2006, playing Mercedes McQueen.
So, yep, one of those gorgeous sirens on the telly in the UK!
Thanx Mate!
Is that a coconut? Make sure to eat the jelly.
Wow… I knew that he was short..But hiding out on someone’s lawn. Watch out for the gardener.
I like the dude with the blonde flattop to the left who is totally checking out Katy’s ass. He’s also probably thinking his is much better…
“OMIGOD!!! So that’s what lady parts look like??? Yuckee!”
“Welcome to my belly fat, baby!!! You gonna diiiiiieeeeee!!!!”
BRRRrrrrmmmmmm brrrrrrrmmmmmm, beep beep!
This guy.
I was hoping for a weiner shot….oh well.
That mustache is 12 days old and it already tastes like 60 different women.
I’d go balls deep
You’d never return.
Will somebody please tell me why Jon Voight is wearing a dress?
If that’s Jon Voight, I’m voting for Romney. Because Jon Voight would have sex with me just for my vote.
She should team up with Daryl Hannah, together they would make an excellent eco warrior duo.
Together, they could stop whales being chopped down and trees being harpooned or something.