The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.5.12

November 5th, 2012 // 795 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you just before Americans face the difficult decision between the Socialist Muslim gay-loving apocalypse or Gordon Gekko’s wet dream about the time he and Reagan robbed a homeless guy then used the money to tag team a prostitute on his dad’s jet. Democracy, yeah! While you ponder that important choice, enjoy Ryan Gosling‘s new look, as designed by Joe Simpson‘s swag coach, Richard Grieco blowing a kiss in front of a giant Rorschach vagina, invisible Salma Hayek stabbing Melanie Griffith with a knife, the undeniable conclusion that Kristina Shannon ate her sister, and finally, everybody shut up! Katy Perry‘s breasts are trying to tell us something.

This post sponsored by Smug™ — Now in delicious coconut flavor!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Chloe Sevigny Cleavage Legs Tight Leather Minidress
    Dina Crackwhore
    Commented on this photo:

    “I see your schwartz is as big as mine”

  2. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Leather Dress
    bobthebob
    Commented on this photo:

    huh….for a second there I thought this was some new fangled IMAX screen.

  3. Imogen Thomas Cleavage Pregnant Belly My Face My Body Awards
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    You know, I wasn’t sure if she’s pregnant or not, but then I saw that she is holding her hand down around her giant belly, giving the celebrity photo signal for “pregnant.”

  4. Jon Hamm Don Draper Mad Men Set
    cabora
    Commented on this photo:

    I can only hope his good conduct throughout last season is over! Well behaved Don Draper is boring.

  5. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Derby Day Horse Races
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    1 girl, 1 cup.

  6. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Derby Day Horse Races
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    SuperCallousFrozenLipsExpressionQuiteAtrocious

  7. Joe Perry Thin Moustache Scarf
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    “Out of my way! I’m almost late for my 10:00 appearance out front at Treasure Island in Las Vegas!”

  8. Prince Charles Camilla Duchess Of Cornwall Topless Dancer
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Tally ho, chaps! Looks like an Imperial threesome in the making!

  9. Prince Charles Camilla Duchess Of Cornwall Topless Dancer
    Commented on this photo:

    I had the same look on my face the first time I saw a titty.

  10. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Derby Day Horse Races
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s fucking terrifying.

  11. Lara Bingle Cleavage Nipples Derby Day Horse Races
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody forgot their shirt!

  12. Richard Grieco Red Sunglasses Works On Canvas Art Debut
    Commented on this photo:

    And by “hosting”, they mean he’s parking cars.

  13. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    If only she’d been having Funyuns–a new steamy euphemism could have been added to the lexicon.

  14. Katy Perry Rubber Dress Obama Rally
    InkyBlack
    Commented on this photo:

    That bloke makes a shit mic stand.

  15. Jon Hamm Don Draper Mad Men Set
    TooCoo
    Commented on this photo:

    “It gets dehydrated in dark pants so I’ve trained it to drink from a dish”

  16. Rhea Durham Butt Tight Jeans Mark Wahlberg Son Soccer Game
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Labia pinch – nice!

  17. Jonah Hill Carrying Bags Headphones
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a whole lot of Twinkies in that duffel bag.

  18. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Derby Day Horse Races
    Commented on this photo:

    Miss Kidman won by a full furlong.

  19. Rhea Durham Butt Tight Jeans Mark Wahlberg Son Soccer Game
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mark, please dont go starting any shit with the paparazzi again. Remember how bad they kicked your ass the last time.”

  20. Russell Brand Spike TVs Eddie Murphy: One Night Only
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s no Katy Perry, but that Katzenberg guy is so sexy!

  21. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    Jow Blow
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn…. I used to like BBQ Baked Lays….

  22. Pamela Anderson Wetsuit Sea Shepards Operation Zero Tolerance Antarctic Whale Defense Campaign
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry haters – I’d still bang her, and live with the hep-C

  23. Katy Perry Rubber Dress Obama Rally
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Bless her heart.

  24. Rhea Durham Butt Tight Jeans Mark Wahlberg Son Soccer Game
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey, my balls are lower.”

  25. Hugh Jackman Sideburns The Acting Edge VIP Launch At Actors Centre
    Commented on this photo:

    The interviewer is all, “HYEEEEEEEE”

  26. John Lithgow Sideburns Scarf
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like he fucked up his teeth so he’d fit in with the locals.

  27. Jason Schwartzman Sipping Coconut Drink
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    Douchenozzle!

    • If it were Johnny Depp, John Mayer, or Criss Angel, I’d say, yeah: total douche. But dude is just wearing sunglasses with a blue shirt. Not his fault you don’t have style and know how awesome young coconut is.

      ::insert nubile vagina joke responses here::

  28. Katy Perry Rubber Dress Obama Rally
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy with the mic looks like Thor with a buzz-cut trying to stab an unmasked Hela.

  29. Joe Perry Thin Moustache Scarf
    bobthebob
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that is a true band mate, trying to make his lead singer look good in comparison.

  30. Pamela Anderson Wetsuit Sea Shepards Operation Zero Tolerance Antarctic Whale Defense Campaign
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s never a Japanese harpoon boat around when you need one.

  31. Axl Rose Fat Mickey Mouse Shirt
    TooCoo
    Commented on this photo:

    Careers are supposed to start with the Mickey Mouse Club.

  32. Jason Schwartzman Sipping Coconut Drink
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    There is no way to look cool, while sucking on straw coming out of a coconut. no way!

  33. Apolo Ohno Squatting Work Out Clothes
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Five…five dollar footlong.

  34. Lara Bingle Cleavage Nipples Derby Day Horse Races
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d dingle that bingle.

  35. Chloe Sevigny Cleavage Legs Tight Leather Minidress
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s off to an “appointment” with a “client.”

  36. Sarah Jessica Parker Son James Razor Scooter
    BillEBuoy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mom. Can I have a horse-back ride?”

  37. Chloe Sevigny Cleavage Legs Tight Leather Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    pleather and a cardigan and a ciggy. Suddenly I don’t hate her as much as I used to .

  38. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Leather Dress
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    High heels equipped with Monroematics

  39. Nicole Murphy Cleavage Cowgirl Halloween Costume
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, Captain Morgan, where the hell is my drink?

  40. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Nooooooooooooooo!

  41. Lisa Vanderpump Cleavage 2nd Annual Inspiration Women Awards To Benefit Susan G. Komen For The Cure
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    Vanderpump…………………..hilarious!

  42. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    catapostrophe
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe she’s developmentally disabled.

  43. Seal Fingerless Gloves Yellow Fingernail Polish
    Commented on this photo:

    Something tells me that Mr. Seal has a stipulation in his rider that says nobody shall look at Mr. Seal. And the doorman is trying so fucking hard not to look.

  44. Prince Charles Camilla Duchess Of Cornwall Topless Dancer
    Commented on this photo:

    I always read her title as Duchess of Cornhole.

  45. Richard Grieco Red Sunglasses Works On Canvas Art Debut
    Commented on this photo:

    HOSTING!? Well someone got an 8ball on the cheap.

  46. Pamela Anderson Wetsuit Sea Shepards Operation Zero Tolerance Antarctic Whale Defense Campaign
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    That priceless look of deja vu, on a boat, firmly grasping a large, cylindric shaft.

  47. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    …and here’s where the babies come out!

  48. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Leather Dress
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s going to take Kanye all night to get that thing back off.

  49. Sarah Jessica Parker Son James Razor Scooter
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    No Mom, you’ve had six sugar cubes already!

  50. Rhea Durham Butt Tight Jeans Mark Wahlberg Son Soccer Game
    henryhill
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, it’s okay, I’m just going to tell them to tell their mothers, I said hello.”

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