Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you just before Americans face the difficult decision between the Socialist Muslim gay-loving apocalypse or Gordon Gekko’s wet dream about the time he and Reagan robbed a homeless guy then used the money to tag team a prostitute on his dad’s jet. Democracy, yeah! While you ponder that important choice, enjoy Ryan Gosling‘s new look, as designed by Joe Simpson‘s swag coach, Richard Grieco blowing a kiss in front of a giant Rorschach vagina, invisible Salma Hayek stabbing Melanie Griffith with a knife, the undeniable conclusion that Kristina Shannon ate her sister, and finally, everybody shut up! Katy Perry‘s breasts are trying to tell us something.
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Sing “West End Girls” or get off the stage!
Good Christ, no one get near her with a pin!
Damn, it’s contagious.
Not pictured: Sarah Jessica Parker, who’s preparing for the race.
T-Dog died?!?!?
He helps me get photographed, I help him with his colostomy bag. It’s symbiotic.
I thought Seals mainly stayed in the harbor.
I guess he ate some of Courtney Stodden’s chips.
He’s a cowboy, on a steel horse he rides. He’s wanted, dead.
Look John, we told you that we’ve already cast Patrick Stewart as Ebenezer this year. Sulking about it won’t help.
And, just like that, John Travolta found his new personal trainer.
Rent is expensive when Judd stops calling, huh?
Man, that Axel Foley can con his way into anything.
I’m going off the rails on a crazy train!!!
Can I offer you suntan lotion? A divorce from my wife? A house in Malibu?
Once Hugh gets out his jazz hands and somebody sticks a microphone in his face, it’s unavoidable he’ll bust out into a broadway show tune medley.
I was wondering what happened to Pam Anderson (not really). Actually, I kind of forgot she was still out there – I guess we are being called upon to bear witness to her fame’s last gasp?
Who the hell is this ugly person?
Guns n Roses cover band (Feat. Axl Rose)
Holy Uni-brow Batman!
Yup! Still fat!
Didn’t he pee on a plane not to long ago?
I see Oprahs black leather couch has been delivered
He heard Kristen Stewart was on the set.
This event is destined to be one of the most exciting horse races of the past century. Camilla Parker-Bowles and Sarah Jessica Parker are running a 1/4 mile for all the marbles.
As for as Kim Kardashian impressions go, I’ve seen better.
Anna Nicole Smith is back.
how come in some pics katy’s boobs look bigger while in this pic they dont?!
but halloween was last week? why she still dressed up?
shes beautiful
he got a new chic every week
eww the dude next to him got a unibrow
Trivia tidbit: her favorite band is Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.
He only packed a snack for his walk between the apartment and his car parked outside.
Your move, Madonna.
So Kate Upton got an ass. Nice.
“Yeah, this dudes unibrow is creeping my out more than my own face…”
Why did I think this was Michelle Rodriguez from the thumbnail?!
She’s starting to look like that Heidi Montag chick. Yikes.
Now that he’s lost Heidi he may have to really dig down deep and well, work again!
Australians have plenty of jokes they use to make fun of New Zealanders. But when it comes to the reverse, all us Kiwis have to say is, Nicole Kidman.
” that a Great Big Ass ! And you want put your head all the way up it !”
Al Pacino , Heat
The best pirates come with their own liferafts.
No, no, no, sweetie… you want to look like 2001 Christina, not 2012 Christina.
If Steven Tyler and Johnny Depp had a love child.
…at the My Face (looks like I need to take a shit) My Body (looks like I definitely need to take a shit) Awards
S&M Fred Rogers
I bet his pubes are massive.
“When it hurts to go to the bathroom, try Dulcolax stool softener…”
I seriously thought this was Steve Martin being funny from the thumbnail. And I became excited because I love Steve Martin and think he’s funny, even if he dresses in drag.
Alas…