The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.5.12

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you just before Americans face the difficult decision between the Socialist Muslim gay-loving apocalypse or Gordon Gekko’s wet dream about the time he and Reagan robbed a homeless guy then used the money to tag team a prostitute on his dad’s jet. Democracy, yeah! While you ponder that important choice, enjoy Ryan Gosling’s new look, as designed by Joe Simpson’s swag coach, Richard Grieco blowing a kiss in front of a giant Rorschach vagina, invisible Salma Hayek stabbing Melanie Griffith with a knife, the undeniable conclusion that Kristina Shannon ate her sister, and finally, everybody shut up! Katy Perry’s breasts are trying to tell us something.

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN