The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.5.12

November 5th, 2012 // 795 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed coming at you just before Americans face the difficult decision between the Socialist Muslim gay-loving apocalypse or Gordon Gekko’s wet dream about the time he and Reagan robbed a homeless guy then used the money to tag team a prostitute on his dad’s jet. Democracy, yeah! While you ponder that important choice, enjoy Ryan Gosling‘s new look, as designed by Joe Simpson‘s swag coach, Richard Grieco blowing a kiss in front of a giant Rorschach vagina, invisible Salma Hayek stabbing Melanie Griffith with a knife, the undeniable conclusion that Kristina Shannon ate her sister, and finally, everybody shut up! Katy Perry‘s breasts are trying to tell us something.

This post sponsored by Smug™ — Now in delicious coconut flavor!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kye Sones X Factor Evictee
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sing “West End Girls” or get off the stage!

  2. Imogen Thomas Cleavage Pregnant Belly My Face My Body Awards
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Good Christ, no one get near her with a pin!

  3. Joe Perry Thin Moustache Scarf
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, it’s contagious.

  4. Lara Bingle Cleavage Nipples Derby Day Horse Races
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Sarah Jessica Parker, who’s preparing for the race.

  5. Seal Fingerless Gloves Yellow Fingernail Polish
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    T-Dog died?!?!?

  6. Russell Simmons Hana Nitsche Cleavage Inspired: A Night With Russell Simmons Hosted By Mercy For Animals
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    He helps me get photographed, I help him with his colostomy bag. It’s symbiotic.

  7. Seal Fingerless Gloves Yellow Fingernail Polish
    Natty Ice
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought Seals mainly stayed in the harbor.

  8. Apolo Ohno Squatting Work Out Clothes
    Natty Ice
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess he ate some of Courtney Stodden’s chips.

  9. Russell Brand Spike TVs Eddie Murphy: One Night Only
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s a cowboy, on a steel horse he rides. He’s wanted, dead.

  10. John Lithgow Sideburns Scarf
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Look John, we told you that we’ve already cast Patrick Stewart as Ebenezer this year. Sulking about it won’t help.

  11. Apolo Ohno Squatting Work Out Clothes
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    And, just like that, John Travolta found his new personal trainer.

  12. Jonah Hill Carrying Bags Headphones
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Rent is expensive when Judd stops calling, huh?

  13. Eddie Murphy Paige Butcher Spike TVs Eddie Murphy: One Night Only
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, that Axel Foley can con his way into anything.

  14. Val Kilmer Double Chins Terrence Malick Movie Fun Fun Fun Fest
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m going off the rails on a crazy train!!!

  15. Rita Rusic Bikini
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Can I offer you suntan lotion? A divorce from my wife? A house in Malibu?

  16. Hugh Jackman Sideburns The Acting Edge VIP Launch At Actors Centre
    Schmidtler
    Commented on this photo:

    Once Hugh gets out his jazz hands and somebody sticks a microphone in his face, it’s unavoidable he’ll bust out into a broadway show tune medley.

  17. Pamela Anderson Wetsuit Sea Shepards Operation Zero Tolerance Antarctic Whale Defense Campaign
    Alexis
    Commented on this photo:

    I was wondering what happened to Pam Anderson (not really). Actually, I kind of forgot she was still out there – I guess we are being called upon to bear witness to her fame’s last gasp?

  18. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    Bronson Pinchot's Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the hell is this ugly person?

  19. Axl Rose Fat Mickey Mouse Shirt
    Bronson Pinchot's Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Guns n Roses cover band (Feat. Axl Rose)

  20. Seal Fingerless Gloves Yellow Fingernail Polish
    Bronson Pinchot's Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy Uni-brow Batman!

  21. Jonah Hill Carrying Bags Headphones
    Bronson Pinchot's Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup! Still fat!

  22. Val Kilmer Double Chins Terrence Malick Movie Fun Fun Fun Fest
    Bronson Pinchot's Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t he pee on a plane not to long ago?

  23. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Leather Dress
    farrellthib
    Commented on this photo:

    I see Oprahs black leather couch has been delivered

  24. Jude Law Sideburns Mousache
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He heard Kristen Stewart was on the set.

  25. Lara Bingle Cleavage Nipples Derby Day Horse Races
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    This event is destined to be one of the most exciting horse races of the past century. Camilla Parker-Bowles and Sarah Jessica Parker are running a 1/4 mile for all the marbles.

  26. Apolo Ohno Squatting Work Out Clothes
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    As for as Kim Kardashian impressions go, I’ve seen better.

  27. Kristina Shannon Butt Weight Gain Tight Jeans Laker Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Anna Nicole Smith is back.

  28. Katy Perry Rubber Dress Obama Rally
    Josie
    Commented on this photo:

    how come in some pics katy’s boobs look bigger while in this pic they dont?!

  29. Nicole Murphy Cleavage Cowgirl Halloween Costume
    Josie
    Commented on this photo:

    but halloween was last week? why she still dressed up?

  30. Jennifer Metcalfe Butt Tight Dress The MOBO Awards
    Josie
    Commented on this photo:

    shes beautiful

  31. Russell Simmons Hana Nitsche Cleavage Inspired: A Night With Russell Simmons Hosted By Mercy For Animals
    Josie
    Commented on this photo:

    he got a new chic every week

  32. Seal Fingerless Gloves Yellow Fingernail Polish
    Josie
    Commented on this photo:

    eww the dude next to him got a unibrow

  33. Rita Rusic Bikini
    Senor Trout
    Commented on this photo:

    Trivia tidbit: her favorite band is Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

  34. Jonah Hill Carrying Bags Headphones
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    He only packed a snack for his walk between the apartment and his car parked outside.

  35. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Derby Day Horse Races
    Juvederm
    Commented on this photo:

    Your move, Madonna.

  36. Kristina Shannon Butt Weight Gain Tight Jeans Laker Game
    sweet_tea
    Commented on this photo:

    So Kate Upton got an ass. Nice.

  37. Seal Fingerless Gloves Yellow Fingernail Polish
    Richard Cranium
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, this dudes unibrow is creeping my out more than my own face…”

  38. Apolo Ohno Squatting Work Out Clothes
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Why did I think this was Michelle Rodriguez from the thumbnail?!

  39. Courtney Stodden Cleavage Lays Bag Twitter
    Jim Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s starting to look like that Heidi Montag chick. Yikes.

  40. Seal Fingerless Gloves Yellow Fingernail Polish
    squishy
    Commented on this photo:

    Now that he’s lost Heidi he may have to really dig down deep and well, work again!

  41. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Derby Day Horse Races
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    Australians have plenty of jokes they use to make fun of New Zealanders. But when it comes to the reverse, all us Kiwis have to say is, Nicole Kidman.

  42. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Tight Leather Dress
    William Mc Clintock
    Commented on this photo:

    ” that a Great Big Ass ! And you want put your head all the way up it !”
    Al Pacino , Heat

  43. Nicole Murphy Cleavage Cowgirl Halloween Costume
    Sam
    Commented on this photo:

    The best pirates come with their own liferafts.

  44. Kristina Shannon Butt Weight Gain Tight Jeans Laker Game
    Sam
    Commented on this photo:

    No, no, no, sweetie… you want to look like 2001 Christina, not 2012 Christina.

  45. Joe Perry Thin Moustache Scarf
    Sam
    Commented on this photo:

    If Steven Tyler and Johnny Depp had a love child.

  46. Imogen Thomas Cleavage Pregnant Belly My Face My Body Awards
    Lou Braccant
    Commented on this photo:

    …at the My Face (looks like I need to take a shit) My Body (looks like I definitely need to take a shit) Awards

  47. Chloe Sevigny Cleavage Legs Tight Leather Minidress
    yikes
    Commented on this photo:

    S&M Fred Rogers

  48. Russell Brand Spike TVs Eddie Murphy: One Night Only
    yikes
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet his pubes are massive.

  49. Antonio Banderas Lakers Game
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    “When it hurts to go to the bathroom, try Dulcolax stool softener…”

  50. Nicole Kidman Frozen Face Derby Day Horse Races
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    I seriously thought this was Steve Martin being funny from the thumbnail. And I became excited because I love Steve Martin and think he’s funny, even if he dresses in drag.

    Alas…

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