The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.25.13

November 25th, 2013 // 462 Comments

Welcome to your day-after-an-awards-show The Crap We Missed, which usually means I’m beat from working late night and early morning to make you aware of the ladies in attendance who were courteous enough to show us part of their breasts, or “celebrity photo editing” as the lying lies on my resume would refer to it. But thanks to Tara Reid‘s deflated, saggy ass showing up, I can barely remember anything else about my life anymore, let alone a primetime show costing millions in production whose biggest act was a a hillbilly singing bad karaoke in front of bad green screen. There’s no way that was real. Anyway, I had plenty of energy left to bring you your favorite smattering of celebrity random, so here goes that. We’ve got Boris Johnson using tools, which amazingly isn’t a euphemism for power power spraying liquor into his face, Olivier Martinez, who apparently likes his sex with Halle Berry really angry, Ke$ha Pinkett Smith, and finally, the bullet heard round the Internet.

You’re damn right that’s Hobo Magneto and Chimneysweep Charles Xavier, just breathe, Internet, deep breaths,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Lady Gaga R Kelly Taylor Swift American Music Awards
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “He pee’s on me first!”
    “No ME!”
    “Ladies, ladies…. Both of you are over 18. Not interested.”

  2. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart Waiting For Godot Opening Night Broadway
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “You shall not dance!”

  3. Kanye West Being Held Up By Naked Dancers Madison Square Garden
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Sex with music stars, just gets weirder and weirder.

  4. Courtney Love Cleavage Jony And Marcs RED Auction Sothebys
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    This is your body on drugs.

    Any questions?

  5. Wyclef Jean Playing Guitar With Mouth Night Of The Proms Netherlands
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    The audience looked on in horror, as Wyclef began the evening by flossing his teeth.

  6. Kelly LeBrock Fat Weight Gain Reloading Life The Art of Peace Anti Gun Violence Event
    Commented on this photo:

    The science is weird, indeed.

  7. Kelly LeBrock Fat Weight Gain Reloading Life The Art of Peace Anti Gun Violence Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn. I remember when she was the masturbatory muse for my adolescence. Kelly helped me crust up a lot of socks.

  8. Lil Mama Tionne T-Boz Watkins Rozonda Chilli Thomas 2013 American Music Awards
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is on her forehead?
    That’s been bugging me for like… years.

  9. Lady Gaga R Kelly Taylor Swift American Music Awards
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, who knew a black dick could come with a set of while nuts?

  10. Kanye West Being Held Up By Naked Dancers Madison Square Garden
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Excellent. We can finally put an end to the German reign of Women’s Team Douche-Lifting gold medals.

  11. Bono Yellow Teeth Mouth Wide Open Jony And Marcs RED Auction Sothebys
    tom
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s such a fucking hypocrite.

  12. Joanna Krupa Held Up By Soldiers Greater Jacksonville USO
    Commented on this photo:

    Military call sign: Stinkhole

  13. Romain Zago Kissing Ferrari
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nope. Still cant smell her though the trunk.”

  14. Bono Yellow Teeth Mouth Wide Open Jony And Marcs RED Auction Sothebys
    Fresco
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep. Old people can behave any fucking way they want. I’m looking forward to it, myself.

  15. Kanye West Being Held Up By Naked Dancers Madison Square Garden
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup, that’s slavery for you. Textbook definition.

  16. Bono Yellow Teeth Mouth Wide Open Jony And Marcs RED Auction Sothebys
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yah yah yah yah yah yah yaaaaah!”

  17. Lady Gaga R Kelly Taylor Swift American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “No way! I love little girls too!”

  18. Lady Gaga R Kelly Taylor Swift American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “And then he peed all over me, and say fuck Ray J I did it first” – GaGa

    “No way, will he do me next?” -T. Swift

  19. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart Waiting For Godot Opening Night Broadway
    Commented on this photo:

    Original Hipsters.

  20. Kanye West Being Held Up By Naked Dancers Madison Square Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh uh honey.

  21. Jada Pinkett Smith Braids Shaved Head Leather Boots
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw, the little douche in the car doesn’t get a photo credit? No wonder he looks pouty.

  22. Kanye West Being Held Up By Naked Dancers Madison Square Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    Sadly even if they dropped him he could not get any dumber.

  23. Billy Ray Cyrus Wayne Newton 2013 American Music Awards
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Why is it, that the older Wayne Newton gets, the more Asian he looks?

  24. Tia Shipman Idris Elba Alyssa Arce Glory Sports International Glory12 New York World Championship
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this deserves a well done and a slow clap standing ovation.

  25. Courtney Love Cleavage Jony And Marcs RED Auction Sothebys
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes a bandage dress is called upon to perform miracles beyond its capabilities.

  26. Lil Mama Tionne T-Boz Watkins Rozonda Chilli Thomas 2013 American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    This was the saddest thing to watch last night.

  27. Wyclef Jean Playing Guitar With Mouth Night Of The Proms Netherlands
    Commented on this photo:

    the acid kicks in and Wyclef eats Gaga’s stringed vagina.

  28. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart Waiting For Godot Opening Night Broadway
    Commented on this photo:

    “There. Are. Four. Stagelights!”

  29. Lady Gaga R Kelly Taylor Swift American Music Awards
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘I fucked your boyfriend, write a song about that!’
    ‘Bitch!’

  30. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart Waiting For Godot Opening Night Broadway
    Commented on this photo:

    “You can walk Charles!”
    “Yes Erik, but on the other hand, we appear to be 1930s hobos”

  31. Lil Mama Tionne T-Boz Watkins Rozonda Chilli Thomas 2013 American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I always kind of liked Chilli, but they looked about as interested in doing that 15 year old choreography as the rest of us watching.

  32. Lisa Lampanelli George Takei Animal League America Celebrity Gala
    Fresco
    Commented on this photo:

    First Shatner, now Takei? Who’s next, I wonder?

  33. Ian McKellen Patrick Stewart Waiting For Godot Opening Night Broadway
    Commented on this photo:

    Also, how fucking cool are they? Seriously, this picture fills me with joy. I’m almost tempted to go to the theatre.

  34. Joanna Krupa Held Up By Soldiers Greater Jacksonville USO
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    She kinda looks… wrong. like too long, or out of proportion or something.

  35. Lady Gaga R Kelly Taylor Swift American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “And during our performance, we cross swords and touch tips.”

    “Noooo!”

  36. Olivier Martinez Checking Out Ladies Ass
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    And ever so slowly, he goes in for the money shot.

  37. Pregnant Lauren Silverman Walking Far Ahead Of Simon Cowell
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    If she dies anytime soon, this picture will be Exhibit A in his murder trial.

  38. Jermaine Dupri Drunk High
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s as if someone too Wyclef, shrunk him and gave him a lot of weed…

  39. Zach Galifianakis Checking Out Laker Girls
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks happier than a puppy with two peters.

  40. Courtney Love Cleavage Jony And Marcs RED Auction Sothebys
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Deaths’ “plus one”.

  41. Kanye West Being Held Up By Naked Dancers Madison Square Garden
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this how he sees women? Faceless entities merely serving to prop him up?

  42. Romain Zago Kissing Ferrari
    Commented on this photo:

    “Goddamn it Joanna, I can smell your stinky pussy all the way back her in the engine bay”

  43. Teresa Palmer Pregnant Belly Tapestry Skirt Playing Football
    Commented on this photo:

    flags, no tackle? that kid is going to grow up to be a wuss.

  44. Vanessa Angel Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    Yup, cameltoe.

  45. Courtney Love Cleavage Jony And Marcs RED Auction Sothebys
    Commented on this photo:

    More bandages, stat!

  46. Teresa Palmer Pregnant Belly Tapestry Skirt Playing Football
    Commented on this photo:

    The garish hippy clothes temporarily distract from the pregnantness. Good job.

  47. Billy Ray Cyrus Wayne Newton 2013 American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    They both look about as fake as living humans can be just prior to turning into wax figures of themselves.

  48. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Bra See Through Dress Kanye West Covering Face With Fur Coat
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    In other news, a rash of naked chinchilla’s was reported in Peru this month, authorities are still baffled.

  49. Billy Ray Cyrus Wayne Newton 2013 American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Pig, Newton.

  50. Kelly LeBrock Fat Weight Gain Reloading Life The Art of Peace Anti Gun Violence Event
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    sigh.

Leave A Comment