The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.25.13

Welcome to your day-after-an-awards-show The Crap We Missed, which usually means I’m beat from working late night and early morning to make you aware of the ladies in attendance who were courteous enough to show us part of their breasts, or “celebrity photo editing” as the lying lies on my resume would refer to it. But thanks to Tara Reid’s deflated, saggy ass showing up, I can barely remember anything else about my life anymore, let alone a primetime show costing millions in production whose biggest act was a a hillbilly singing bad karaoke in front of bad green screen. There’s no way that was real. Anyway, I had plenty of energy left to bring you your favorite smattering of celebrity random, so here goes that. We’ve got Boris Johnson using tools, which amazingly isn’t a euphemism for power power spraying liquor into his face, Olivier Martinez, who apparently likes his sex with Halle Berry really angry, Ke$ha Pinkett Smith, and finally, the bullet heard round the Internet.

You’re damn right that’s Hobo Magneto and Chimneysweep Charles Xavier, just breathe, Internet, deep breaths,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN