“Bloody Tom Cruise. ‘Just one more drink, David. You can sleep on the couch, David. Let me wash those knickers, David. It’s just my E-meter, David…’”
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, loaded to capacity with Derek Jeter needing to die quickly, Hines Ward honoring Ryan Dunn, Robin Thicke by request and MacGyver about to build an actual cherry bomb or bore someone to tears about the importance of fiber.
Someone should make Ben Affleck and Mel Gibson grumble-fight,
- The Superficial
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Gisele and Tom are so together! They share uniforms, and hairdos!
I didn’t know Nancy Grace was pregnant again…
Poor creamsicle’s gonna need an STD test now. :(
Why do I get the feeling she’s waving to imaginary people just like Ronnie in the Xenadrine commercial.
Awesome!
Who would have thought the Corey Feldman look would come back into style…
(……fatherhood is a helluva drug….)
Why is she gonna tongue her grampa in a street side cafe?
hey! at least the Latisse is working for her.
A bit too well. Lay off, Brooke!
Yes, but which one is her?
“Gonna bite that phone right outta his hand! Pay attention to ME!!!!”
Madonna?
Why doesn’t she have to wear the magic underwear?
Good question. If her son had been wearing them he’d have bounced after jumping from that window instead of going ker-splat..
The magic underwear would fit under this. But she’s been divorced twice, so she may no longer be worthy of the magic underwear.
Hey look – a Cherry Poppin’ Granddaddy!
I’m not certain that she really needs to draw attention to her eyes
Currently The Biggest Douche In Deutschland.
Preggers already?
Why yes, they’re dressed to match, so this must be from the engagement shoot.
“Den da botox lady slipped an da needle hit my tongue”
Fun fact – he hasn’t taken that t-shirt off since 1997.
I know, right?
Actually what would be even sadder is if he had an entire wardrobe of like 1000 of those tshirts, and nothing else.
What a challenge.
Jeez lady gaga, go home….
“i’m zere for ze BARBEQUEeeeeee!”
He Ben..what up with the hair?
And in the end all talentless, would be, young female singers these days morph into an unfortunate slurry made up of equal parts Madonna, Courtney Love, and Everclear fuelled Tara Reid
Okay, we get it! We get it! You’re a dumpster slut.
i think that’s her nipple ring, actually.
Okay, she had better be Morticia in the Addams Family or there is no excuse for this.
Latisse overdose. Sad, really.
Bearing a better resemblance to Fester here. Sorry.
Yes, she is the new Morticia for the Broadway show.
Man, Charlie looks like shit.
Pubes on the chin must be all the rage in some circles…
K.D. Lang and Ellen’s
This skeleton has weird tits
Moar Pancakes!!!
yup. she’s shining nippledness
Well yes Jenny, I Always wear my see through shirts at the airport; TSA and all…
Reigning champion of last season’s Dancing With The Breathalyzers.
Notice how she now always wears the bag to cover the black hole in her chest.
I really don’t know why she’s carrying all those bags when we all know her neck hole can hold twice that load.
Chasing Lamey.
No, wait. Caught.
“BLIMEY, I haven’t seen this many dimples since Gary Coleman!”
It’s logical to assume that her water just broke and she’s picking up some food on the way to the hospital.
“noooo….NOOOO… AHHHHH (garglegarglegargle)”
Michael Jackson?
“Now WHERE did Tom go? He handed me this E-meter and then ran off…sniff sniff…wait a second! This is his TAINT METER!!!!”
The one on the right looks nothing at all like Corey Haim. Stupid.
Yeah, but this time he’s saying it all with his gold watch
“HE BANGS! HE BANGS!”
Hahahahah!!! Fattyfattyfatfatfat!!!
Ah love ewe, Mahry.
Who remembers Lifeforce?
Loved it if you’re referring to the movie :)
Mathilda May ftw.
I *am* referring to the movie! :)
What is it with these “FTW’s”? I thought that meant “fuck the world.” That would be a total non sequitur. Is there another meaning I’m missing?
For The Win
I agree, everything on the internet is stupid
That’s mighty high & mighty of ya.
I’m tossed between ‘you suck’ and ‘sucker!’
Pretty sweet granny cans photo-bomb.
+1
Is it wrong that I rubbed one out to the topless granny? I figured I’d keep it real since I have no chance with this smokin hot brunette, whoever she is.
I think if those nips get u hard a mirror might make u happy 4-eva. I call it the Circle of Non-Life(Hakuna Matata). You are doing God’s work. Please, continue to not-produce. We thank you and your grandma-nipple-loving-freak-ass.
Photo credit: Supercuts