Hard to believe Matt Damon left all this.
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Tara Reid back in her natural habitat, the Madden brothers embracing their future, Bree Olson proving literally anyone can host a party in Vegas and Scott Disick‘s drivers are expected to do more than just compliment his business cards. “Nice weight, right? Now, remember, no teeth.”
Robert Downey Jr. prefers a more subtle approach,
- The Superficial
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He’s doing it himself because the stuntman had to stay behind after school.
How about dem apples?
Let’s pretend you are Hillary Duff and I just asked you to marry me!
“I hate having this strange feeling like I forgot something.”
Heather Locklear is looking good for 60.
She should be angry that Kardashian stole her idea of a fake marriage.
She’s probably bitter that Kim is getting all this press and no one cared about her confession.
I ‘m not gay, but I’d do Jake first.
well he does look more feminine
“My agent told me to do this. I have a feeling I have been misled.”
Phair sang HWC and Bree took it to heart.
Feed him an apple and put him out to pasture.
I’ll take a grande drip and a urine chaser, please.
Colonel Sanders wants his shirt and tie back.
“wow, remember when I was on that show and people thought I was hot?, oh fido are you done shitting?, yeah that was cool when I was on that show. Kinda sad how people remember Fez more then they do me. I still look hotter then Mila right? Damn I need a new agent. I’m the second most popular blonde actress that used to be a cute redhead. Maybe I should start doing coke and running over kids.”
lol good job
“…hotter then Mila…?” Get some education; especially learn the difference between “then” and “than”. Then (NOT ‘than”) you can come back and try again.
I thought Liberace was dead?
Oh, the stories her butthole could tell.
I’m thinking that it would make a good album!
“excuse me! let me – ASS – you a question.”
Dreg, isn’t that the title of a Dr. Seuss porno book?
“I’m available for anything. Just call my landlord and he will bang on the wall and I will come to the door and we can do business. When I say I will do anything, I really mean it, so as long as the check clears I am your woman. Seriously, anything.”
Michael Richards career is in the toilet you say?
Whoa! Almost got caught updating my secret Formspring account.
Act cool. Act cool. *whistles nonchalantly*
This woman’s nipples are forever untamed.
Is he playing Jon Lovitz in the movie?
Too bad her rack is owned by Scientology.
That might be a good thing and her rack might be for sale or rent, ‘cuz we know they’re only in it for the money!
Hey!!!! I used to be relevant!! Over here! Hey!!!
“I’m a White Goddess. That’s not just me sayin’ it, this bar or nightclub or whatver says it. This is so empowering.”
bitch please. you do not look like this at all now.
He looks like he just fell out of Victoria Gotti’s vagina.
Does she even know the word classy????
I think when you’re worth 60 million, it doesn’t matter.
She’s embracing her inner ho.
He’s had anal beads before.
They made her a lot prettier than she actually is. Nice work.
Reminds me of the old joke about three gentlemen of Polish descent, a straw and a cross-eyed cow’s ass.
We should organise a shopping tour with her. Seems like she just have one trousser.
Who knew Malibu had a Golden Corral?
“I really need a fucking day off from this crap.”
No way! Just reemerging since Halloween has past.
You go, Lacey! I love to see Downs kids do well.
That dress is all that is keeping her boobs from being down by her ankles.
Mmm! Cock flavored!
“Brooke Shields at the National Facial Line Count championship. Brooke is considered a contender for the title.”
Alright, I’ll take that urine sample over here, J.J.
This outfit was not the best of ideas. A burgundy color stripe starting at the crotch and heading straight down to the ankles? This must be a revenge frock from a pissed off queen designer or an angry stylist.
And both of them were on the rag when they thought of it.
Seven is the only Borg who can wear such a dress.
That’s a pretty fancy setup for a party where everyone came in the back door.
Didn’t she used to be kinda cute? WTF?
It really must be fantastic to be able to see the world in 4-D.
Elijah tries to console Robin after telling him that hobbits weren’t, in fact, real. But the love for Samwise is eternal.
Oh man I remember that look… when you’re so drunk you have to close one eye to drive.
Hate to admit, I’ve done that. (Really, growing up the prairies, no one cared.)
Haha–I’ve been there. It’s the only way to see when you’re shit faced!
She could kill a man with those thighs if he was dumb enough to piss her off while between them
I wonder what her sister’s name is?
“O Death, Where is thy sting?”
9 out of 10 optometrists agree that pants effectively cover one’s unsightly undercarriage.
Happy Feet, Angry Bladder
oh YES!
“Scott, man, I’m sorry but nobody is buying the ‘I love Kourtney and I am straight crap’ anymore. Maybe you can do one more season of it but you gotta come clean or you will end up like Kim when she got caught on that marriage lie bullshit.”
At long last, the secret is told. Brooke Shields is actually Brock Shields – a longshoreman from the upper east side.