Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.
And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
So, we know there’s at least one guy in New York who is a dead ringer for Tom Cruise.
Lidsville?
That’s one busted up face.
“Please dont scare my daughter” – I dont mean this jokingly, I really think thats what she is saying. Sorry Katie – we have no boundaries.
look how hard she’s holding her Mommy’s hand:(
No wonder Rocky lost to Apollo Creed. What a shrimp-kin.
Welcome to your nightmare!!
The phrase “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stranger” was made for this guy.
“Thank god for Bose ear pods. Get your fucking hands off me”
Mel B and her househusband
He looks fucking thrilled
“My 1990′s jeans say I’m hip again. Yippie!!”
Remember the stretch monster? Me too.
“Who’s got two thumbs, and hairy knuckles? This guy!!”
Thats Japanese for “SMELLY FISH BELOW”
“Maguro wa sūjitsukan furuidesu.”
Seriously though, that fucker is huge.
That guys hand is as big as Sly’s face.
Oh sshnapps!
Not giving a fuck can be so very liberating.
He looks more like a real woman than a lot of women in England do these days.
Seen here modeling a dress with illusion seam nipples.
I thought you’d give some love for the bag, CD. I guess I’ll have to do it: that’s a nice handbag. Kind of mid-century retro—maybe even vintage.
Hey, if being capable of appreciating women’s accessories makes me gay…fuck you.
It’s a very nice bag…but not big enough for me to rhapsodize over it.
Who do I have to f$%k to make this stop?
I thought pickpockets were supposed to be fast and subtle?
MOO
Very occasionally a SW site photo makes me scream out loud when it first impacts my eyeballs.
This was one of them.
Made and made up for stellar porn performance.
Halloween was a couple weeks ago.
No comment on the shoes? They look more versatile than just for Halloween. And severe enough for a good time.
Heinous jewelry; busted face.
I want him dead, I want his family dead, I want his cat dead!… What, we’re on the air?! Aaaahh, this was my impression of the Godfather. Yes, definitely the Godfather.
If I understand well, that guy’s life only consist in having holidays.
ATM
Sing “Jessie’s Girl”!
LMAO!
Looks like the they have someone to play Lobot in the new Star Wars movies.
MMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo
Miss Hathaway finally got Mr. Dreysdale to pay for that sex change.
The Jessica Alba Swisuit Butt Pose: Flat Ass Edition
Mike Seaver finally snapped.
“Oh, you want a picture of me and my wife? Sure! Hey, favor for a favor, can you throw this away for me? Damnit! My bad, I was totally aiming at your hands. You OK? That’ll come right out. No biggey. Man, I hope there aren’t any other photographers in the area. If they got a picture of that, it would make me look like a sissy douche throwing a drink at a paparazzo. Anyway, have a nice day!”
Katie shit her pants. Coincidentally, at that very same moment, Suri smelled something rank.
God damn it, I clicked the thumbnail thinking it was the Wendy’s girl!
I didn’t know Subway made whiskey sandwiches.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
He only married her so he could be referred to as “Hilaria’s husband”.
I think he married her because she is cute as can be and probably a dynamite piece of ass!
Sticky name for a movie.
“Look at zis guy, he eez as big az dat midget I uzed to fook!”
Full retard?
Replace “?” with “!”
Turns out black ISN’T slimming.
It can be – but for it to work on this fatass, she’d have to go out dipped in tar, and only at night when there’s no moon.
There’s enough Botox gone into that face to kill the entire North Korean Army.
Is the top rubber?
Someone Please teach her how to breath through her nose.
A deal with the Devil, that’s the only possible explanation.
literally starving for attention
” . . . And your little dog too!”
metaphorically starving for attention