Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.
And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
SAMCRO!
This type of photo should come with a warning or spoiler alert!
Sly’s head looks like its about to explode.
An occluded artery is no laughing matter.
demonic ginger.
Aren’t they all?
when did he contract AIDS?
You say a fellow from the BBC came to see you?
Two things wrong with those tay-tays…they are not in my mouth.
My gravy. It’s tone & the boobs are great. Get me a paper bag!
Yes, he does give a common courtesy of a “reach around”.
Put all those together and they are still not halfway to Seal’s…
The Randy Quaid of the Wolverine family.
1 for here…4 for take home. :D
HIs facial hair makes me very uncomfortable.
It gets worse. Pray he keeps his hat on.
“Your move, Jack Nicholson”
Great ass.
Hair style by the Lollipop Guild.
Wood.
with make up = goth and gay…without = just gay.
Please dear god…why tempt me? why??
And the secret is out! The best way to stay thin and have a toned bod? Smoke your ass off.
The Bubba Mug says it all.
She’s holding the wrong book…her book is actually ‘A Night at the Wax Museum’
Love the asian girl with her wonk eye.
Hmm, black and white. That makes her a Black Hereford. Good beef cattle. Although not known for fat asses. Must be a cross breed.
My wisteria died, so I planted a hilaria.
I have a black penis – this means I have a chance. (I’m not black by the way…I just don’t wash it. I’m a dirty f**ker, is what I’m trying to tell you).
Nice Limited Edition JonBenet Ramsey doll.
“This is how it will look IN BED, later tonight”
He’s thinking: I have a chance with these chicks.
Girls thinking: Paycheck, Paycheck… keep smiling… Paycheck
“You have any blow?” -Her face
I don’t understand the thumbs-down…
She’s worth a bend-over the sofa.
I’m a pretty princess.
Nothing strange here…move along. Nothing to see.
‘Gemma Aterton’s Tits’ would have attracted a lot more people.
Damn it!!! VPL.
I accept this as a “cool dad” picture only if the tiara and his shirt weren’t color coordinated.
Oh boobies…when will you stop me from masterbation.
“Have you ever seen a Prince Albert?”
“Not only do I HAVE a Prince Albert,
my wife’s great-great-grandfather WAS Prince Albert!”
Cm’ere my little pretty! ehehehehe
I have nooooo idea who this chick is…but, my weiner is begging for mercy. “Oh no, not again”. :P
She beat her meat and now their all dead.
“Say hello to my little friend”…”Oh no, pal. That never gets old” :P
What the fuck is going on in Europe anyway?
….And with every stair stepper, you get Alec Baldwin, pushing his bulge into your bottom, for extra motivation.
Who? I’d like to know who I’m masterbating to…gives me that extra special feeling.
Has-been…next!
Actually, she’s less scary in this one…for some odd reason.
It’s because she is wearing your mom’s old pants suit
In the closet…next!
Well apparently there isn’t a magical secret for putting on bronzer and foundation…
I’ve seen hookers wearing better…not that I would know.