The Crap We Missed – Monday 11.12.12

November 12th, 2012 // 665 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which is another sizeable chunk of celebrity fuckery, and no, that’s not a euphemism for Jon Hamm‘s penis for once. This platter of sausages, however, that Heidi Klum is holding near her face probably is, because not only is she amazingly hot, but also schooled in the art of suggestion. Well played, Klum, well played. We’ve also got Alec Baldwin who is just so virile and healthy and probably brings his young wife to endless orgasm is what I think we’re all supposed to believe by now, as well as Criss Angel whose greatest illusion until now was concealing the fact that he is actually a 53 year old female middle school receptionist from Utah, and finally, would the Academy please just preemptively give Matthew McConaughey the award for Best Actor before he actually gives himself AIDS? For christsakes, this man has children to feed.

And now, for the not-giving-a-fuckiest moment in the history of not giving a fuck,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Charlie Hunnam Sons Of Anarchy Season Five Celebration
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    SAMCRO!

  2. Carrot Top Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    right
    Commented on this photo:

    This type of photo should come with a warning or spoiler alert!

  3. Sylvester Stallone Wladimir Klitschko Vitali Klitschko World Heavyweight Championship Match
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    Sly’s head looks like its about to explode.

  4. Carrot Top Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Commented on this photo:

    demonic ginger.

  5. Ashton Kutcher Grandpa Sweater Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    when did he contract AIDS?

  6. Prince Charles Swimmers AUT Millennium
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    You say a fellow from the BBC came to see you?

  7. Miranda Kerr Nipples Tight Dress
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Two things wrong with those tay-tays…they are not in my mouth.

  8. Mel B Bikini Smoking And Drinking Stephen Belafonte Shirtless Boating
    right
    Commented on this photo:

    My gravy. It’s tone & the boobs are great. Get me a paper bag!

  9. Jim Toth Throws Drink At Photographer
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, he does give a common courtesy of a “reach around”.

  10. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    Yaar
    Commented on this photo:

    Put all those together and they are still not halfway to Seal’s…

  11. Jude Law Sideburns Mousache Headphones Rise of the Guardians Rome International Film Festival
    Rosalie
    Commented on this photo:

    The Randy Quaid of the Wolverine family.

  12. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    1 for here…4 for take home. :D

  13. Joey Lawrence Tight V Neck Shirt Perv Stache Sofia The First: Once Upon A Princess Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    HIs facial hair makes me very uncomfortable.

  14. Nick Nolte Eating Huge Sandwich Panama Hat Linen Pants
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Your move, Jack Nicholson”

  15. Isabell Fontana Butt Leather Pants MTV EMA
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Great ass.

  16. Jude Law Sideburns Mousache Headphones Rise of the Guardians Rome International Film Festival
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Hair style by the Lollipop Guild.

  17. Isabell Fontana Butt Leather Pants MTV EMA
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Wood.

  18. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    with make up = goth and gay…without = just gay.

  19. Jessica Alba Butt Tramp Stamp
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Please dear god…why tempt me? why??

  20. Mel B Bikini Smoking And Drinking Stephen Belafonte Shirtless Boating
    alex
    Commented on this photo:

    And the secret is out! The best way to stay thin and have a toned bod? Smoke your ass off.

  21. Matthew McConaughey Skinny Moustache
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    The Bubba Mug says it all.

  22. Chloe Simms Nipples Book Signing
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s holding the wrong book…her book is actually ‘A Night at the Wax Museum’

  23. Charlie Hunnam Sons Of Anarchy Season Five Celebration
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Love the asian girl with her wonk eye.

  24. Kim Kardashian Cleavage
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmm, black and white. That makes her a Black Hereford. Good beef cattle. Although not known for fat asses. Must be a cross breed.

  25. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    My wisteria died, so I planted a hilaria.

  26. Kim Kardashian Cleavage
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    I have a black penis – this means I have a chance. (I’m not black by the way…I just don’t wash it. I’m a dirty f**ker, is what I’m trying to tell you).

  27.  Marie Osmond Doll Signing
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice Limited Edition JonBenet Ramsey doll.

  28. Charlie Hunnam Sons Of Anarchy Season Five Celebration
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is how it will look IN BED, later tonight”

  29. Charlie Hunnam Sons Of Anarchy Season Five Celebration
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s thinking: I have a chance with these chicks.
    Girls thinking: Paycheck, Paycheck… keep smiling… Paycheck

  30. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    “You have any blow?” -Her face

  31. Claire Sinclair Cleavage Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s worth a bend-over the sofa.

  32. Lou Diamond Phillips Wearing Tiara Sofia The First: Once Upon A Princess Premiere
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m a pretty princess.

  33.  Marie Osmond Doll Signing
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing strange here…move along. Nothing to see.

  34. Gemma Arterton Cleavage Legs See Through Dress Place For Peace Dinner
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Gemma Aterton’s Tits’ would have attracted a lot more people.

  35. David Beckham Stretching Pink Shoes
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn it!!! VPL.

  36. Lou Diamond Phillips Wearing Tiara Sofia The First: Once Upon A Princess Premiere
    Visible Ink
    Commented on this photo:

    I accept this as a “cool dad” picture only if the tiara and his shirt weren’t color coordinated.

  37. Tamara Ecclestone Cleavage The Elton John AIDS Foundation Grey Goose Winter Ball
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh boobies…when will you stop me from masterbation.

  38. Prince Charles Swimmers AUT Millennium
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Have you ever seen a Prince Albert?”

  39. Maria Shriver The Grove Tree Lighting Spectacular
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Cm’ere my little pretty! ehehehehe

  40. Isabell Fontana Butt Leather Pants MTV EMA
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    I have nooooo idea who this chick is…but, my weiner is begging for mercy. “Oh no, not again”. :P

  41. Heidi Klum Sausages MTV EMA Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    She beat her meat and now their all dead.

  42. Peter Dinklage Erica Schmidt A Funny Thing Happened On The Way to Cure Parkinsons Event
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    “Say hello to my little friend”…”Oh no, pal. That never gets old” :P

  43. Rita Ora Cleavag MTV EMA
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is going on in Europe anyway?

  44. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Thomas Cleavage SoulCycle Soul Relief Rides
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    ….And with every stair stepper, you get Alec Baldwin, pushing his bulge into your bottom, for extra motivation.

  45. Gemma Arterton Cleavage Legs See Through Dress Place For Peace Dinner
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Who? I’d like to know who I’m masterbating to…gives me that extra special feeling.

  46. Joey Lawrence Tight V Neck Shirt Perv Stache Sofia The First: Once Upon A Princess Premiere
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Has-been…next!

  47. Maria Shriver The Grove Tree Lighting Spectacular
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually, she’s less scary in this one…for some odd reason.

  48. Enrique Iglesias Destination Fashion 2012 The Buoniconti Fund To Cure Paralysis
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    In the closet…next!

  49. Criss Angel Haircut Zarkana Premiere Cirque Du Soleil
    Jen
    Commented on this photo:

    Well apparently there isn’t a magical secret for putting on bronzer and foundation…

  50. Rita Ora Cleavag MTV EMA
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen hookers wearing better…not that I would know.

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